/dmg/ DEATH METAL GENERAL: BUMP STOCK NEWS EDITION

A quick rapid fire of metal news before liberals grab the guns!

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DAMNED BELOW JUDAS

>>Longtime Judas Priest guitarist K.K. Downing was not invited to the party and can’t stop whining about it.  Downing is too old to handle touring for Priest and thus the band replaced him with a more capable guitarist who will be performing on their new album and tour.  But that hasn’t stopped Downing from claiming he wrote the riffs (he didn’t) and then apologizing and doing whatever he can to hog up the spotlight.

>>Downing needs to be immediately placed in a nursing home as his dementia is clearly too extreme for him to be paraded around media outlets.

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FROM THE PAST COMES THE STORMS

>>Someone had the balls to troll Andreas Kissertarget=”_blank” rel=”nofollow external” by asking him if he would re-record Sepultura’s past albums with the current lineup.  The sheer thought of this is hilarious as everyone hates the “new” Sepultura singer who is still considered new even after being in the band for over 20 years.

>>Of course, Kisser declined as such a thing would be a testament to the unmistakable truth that the best work Sepultura ever has had was when Kisser had minimum to no input.

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TASTE THE RAINBOW

>>Archaic heavy metal legends Rainbow are back for another shot at super stardom with their first new song in 20 years.  The new single is available via the Japanese Itunes as Rainbow are apparently trying to relive the ending of Spinal tap by becoming big in Japan after being largely forgotten by an American audience.

>>It does not appear Rainbow was able to secure the rights to extract the vocals from the soul of former vocalist Ronnie James Dio despite it being trapped in a hologram by record industry executives to serve their sadistic bidding.  Even now I hear Dio crying out- he is trapped between worlds everyone!  We can’t allow this to happen!

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NEVER MORE NEVERMORE

>>Power metal fans can soon get a 12 CD box set of Nevermore’s entire discography in an obvious cash grab by Century Media Records to bank off the recent death of Warrel Dane.

>>It is currently unclear how the industry executives will find a way to package Dane’s unfinished solo album while consumers are still reeling from his loss.

 

 

 

 

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5 thoughts on “/dmg/ DEATH METAL GENERAL: BUMP STOCK NEWS EDITION”

  1. Dirk says:

    The remaining Dio band (Last in Line) is touring too. They have Vinnie on drums, who played well on Dehumanizer for Sabbath, plus Vivian Campbell. It must be really hard for such bands, when the front-man passes away.

    1. Rainer Weikusat says:

      Ehh … Rainbow is also known as Ritchie Blackmore’s Rainbow and Dio hasn’t been a member of that since 1979 ….

    2. Incessant Ballerism says:

      Vivian Campbell has been in Def Leppard since like ’91 BTW.

      1. Incessant Ballerism says:

        And the nigga’s name is VIVIAN.

  2. Sepultura the name is one of the saddest things still continuing in metal. Roots and Chaos AD were shitty and could be forgotten, but all the crap they keep churning out with this Darren Black guy is like a nu-metal funeral that never ends.

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