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Hessians Unite

by Death Metal Black Metal
November 12, 2011 –

Music is sound that resembles life. It reveals not only the experience of life, but the emotions and ideas that the musician has in response to life. Heavy metal music sounds like a certain way of life, because a similar thought process is required to become a heavy metal musician. For this reason, heavy metal is more than a style; it’s a culture.

The metal genre does not fit into the easy categories used for modern music. While it sounds modern, it champions the values of older times, such as honor, bloodlust, aggression, emotion and passion. It denies the plastic modern existence and insists on meaning being found in experience, not ownership. For this reason, heavy metal is a cross between ancient ideas and modern methods. Our utilitarian contemporary society has no words for what this is.

Since heavy metal isn’t on the radar for mainstream civilization, they write it off and claim that people listen to metal for the sole purpose of irritating their parents. They deny its musical value, explain away its artistic value, and brush it aside by assuming it is not serious and worthy of study. For this reason, Hessians, or those who are part of the heavy metal culture, are one of the most marginalized groups in modern society today.

We have all seen varying ethnic and religious groups fight for their right to be recognized as unique and to have special rights and privileges. If at the “modern” university we have a Black Studies Department, and an Asian Studies Department, why not a Hessian Studies Department? Hessian culture has in the years since 1969 been a fundamental force in shaping our society, and remains one of its most persistent critics, all while developing its own way of existing.

Not all Hessians are alike. Some care about nothing and will not understand this web page at all. The few who believe in life and in the heavy metal lifestyle will find that Hessian culture is something they have sought for years, perhaps without knowing it at all. For Hessians, hessian.org is a reference material of their own society within an outer society. For those of you who are outsiders to Hessiandom, this is a chance to broaden your “diversity” and learn about an entirely singular culture that thrives among the things you consider normal, but will never bow down and join them.

http://www.hessian.org/

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17 comments

  • Who wants to fuck my slutty girlfriend?

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    Reply
  • @ Who wants to fuck my slutty girlfriend?

    Sorry Mastodon guy, we don’t like guys with wigs. Nice try though, we know you come here for the cock! You should be looking for hobos in dark alleys fuck face!

    - Dominating Fucker

    Reply
  • Gandalf the Gay reissue

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    squirt plop plop plop (jizz splashing all over your butt crack).

    -the end

    Reply
  • Bilboner Teabaggins

    @Dominating Fucker She’s not a dude, half shit. You’re just mad that I got to her first. Now, every time you or Mastodon guy go down on her, you taste me…

    Reply
  • Mastodon guy @ Bilboner Teabaggins

    Honey, we both know we look sexy in wigs! I just wished I could afford my sex change operation. You are lucky to not have a penis anymore.

    Reply
  • who takes this seriously

    The Hessians were 18-century German regiments hired through their rulers by the British Empire. Despite their name, they were not all from Hesse. They were not mercenaries, although their German rulers profited from their use. Though used in several conflicts including in Ireland, they are most widely associated with combat operations in the American Revolutionary War. They provided extensive manpower to support the American loyalist cause, but the fact that they were not British provided the pro-independence side with opportunities for propaganda and may have aided pro-independence recruitment. (from peadopedia)

    You, on the other hand, are just a whiny git.

    Reply
  • Barraglind Obamardian

    err, other groups (blacks, asians, women, homos, zoophiles, you name it) are only asking for the SAME rights as the dominant “group”, not “priviledges”, sometimes it turns to priviledges for a small subpart of that group, but the dominants want to breed a special “minority elite” to help it keep their brothers and sisters under control but that’s something else.

    So You Hessians want to be considered as the sole official representatives of the “metal culture” ? while all the bands you champion together haven’t sold as many albums as BG or Rhapsody, or post 1990 Metallica ? WTF ?

    Reply
  • @hessian = hipster

    Yes. Prozak wrote many articles for homosexual rights organizations, including NAMBLA, and has for years promoted the idea that homosexuality is desirable, masculine, and “hessian”.

    Reply
  • deleted comment

    THIS IS BULLSHIT I HAVE TO POST THIS AGAIN. SERIOUSLY.

    “HESSIANS” THAT CAN’T GRASP OUR VIEWS SHOULDNT BE CONSIDERED HESSIANS, AS EVEN THEY REFER TO THEMSELVES AS LOWLY METALHEADS.

    FUCK EM, THEY LISTEN TO THE GREATS FOR THE WRONG REASONS ENTIRELY, MISS THE POINT, AND SUPPORT SECOND RATE TURDS LIKE CANNIBAL CORPSE. WHY SHOULD THEY BE ASSOCIATED WITH US?

    Reply
  • Mastodon fag

    I am a hessian just like you. I demand equal rights and respect for my taste in music even if it sucks! I also demand cute guys to let me suck them.

    Reply
  • so I have spoken

    your music sucks shit

    you are an internet group of teenage virgin aspies

    you can never run away from these three noble truths

    Reply
  • ty for this revelation

    >Music is sound that resembles life.

    Makes perfect sense, seeing how death/black metal is not music and you all have no lives.

    Reply

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