Sadistic Metal Reviews: 12-3-2017


Xysma – Yeah (1991)
Xysma were one of the first bands to combine death metal and rock music. Yeah it is still death ‘n’ roll but the most listenable piece of music on this review. Xysma arrange basic Carcass style riffs and psychedelic leads into repetitive rock songs. Rarely heavy metal leads show up. These are the highlights of the record. Yeah isn’t death metal but it’s actually listenable, occasionally clever, and not random. This is what Swansong should’ve been.


Gates of Ishtar – A Bloodred Path (1996)
Gates of Ishtar are not legends. They were poseurs back in the mid to late 90s and are still poseurs. Gates of Ishtar stole riffs from heavy and speed metal groups like Metallica, Iron Maiden, Dissection, and Megadeth. They then put all these riffs in a hat, pulled out four or so per track, and created a mid-paced, random riff salad. A Bloodred Path just doesn’t make any sense. It fails as death metal, heavy metal, and music in general. Gates of Ishtar should hang themselves with a mountain climbing harness in a motel bathroom.


Obscura – Retribution (2006)
Obscura play incredibly boring monotone technical “death metal” that slowly lurches forward into a new random riff. Every track here is verse chorus verse structured like a shitty speed metal band. The actual riffs are the type of mid-paced single chord chugging that would serve as the breakdown in a brutal death metal or deathcore song. Half of Obscura’s tracks even have cleanly sung bridges. Retribution is merely another mid-paced deathcore album. Obscura should hang themselves with a mountain climbing harness in a motel bathroom.


Holocausto – War Metal Massacre (2017)
Holocausto from the legendary Warfare Noise split come back with an album of immemorable thrash material that lifts liberally from Sarcofago and Sepultura. Holocausto should throw in the towel or hang themselves with a mountain climbing harness in a motel bathroom.


Epitaph – Sinner Waketh (2017)
Epitaph came back from their confused 1992 failure Seeming Salvation to try to cash in on the market for reheated Swedish meatballs. Epitaph are a little too late for that schtick. Sinner Waketh can’t decide what it wants to be: death ‘n’ roll, deathcore, Unleashed, or Candlemass style heavy metal. Epitaph probably should have stuck to the latter two as Sinner Waketh is a confused, random failure. Epitaph should focus, throw in the towel or hang themselves with a mountain climbing harness in a motel bathroom.


Degotten – Hexentrost (2017)
The underground is so infested with poseurs that bands who rip off Metallica and Slayer riffs and drone them on and on just so they can say the lyrics now call themselves black metal. Degotten are those types of poseurs. The leads and solos are way too happy and easygoing. They do not evoke imagery of death and destruction but rather of some twee goth romance teen movie where the skinny loser dude gives the Winona Ryder lookalike wilted flowers. Degotten should hang themselves with a mountain climbing harness in a motel bathroom.


Pestlegion – Dominus Profundum (2017)
Pestlegion play Dissection themed metalcore with tons of breakdowns and bluesy soloing. You knew this was coming. These self proclaimed “Whiskey Fueled Black Metal Kommandos” have done it. Pestlegion should hang themselves with a mountain climbing harness in a motel bathroom.


Pestilent Age – Novgorod (2017)
Pestilent Age play repetitive Unleashed style death/heavy metal. The problem is they have no energy, their riffs drone on and on, and everything is just way too repetitive. Pestilent Age need to get a new shtick beyond “We’re Unleashed but random and shitty!” or hang themselves with a mountain climbing harness in a motel bathroom.


Obscure Devotion – Ubi Certa Pax Est (2017)
This “blackened death metal” is little more than lame Sodom style thrash metal that drones on and on and on for retards on drugs who think this sort of crap is deep. Obscure Devotion even have ambient interludes to try to enhance that sentiment in the simpletons. This is truly some some lame poseur shit. Hang yourself with a mountain climbing harness in a motel bathroom.


Possession – Exorkizein (2017)
Possession play the type of hyper-repetitive, vocally driven, crust/speed metal hybrid that is highly popular in the funderground poseur scene. Possession should hang themselves with a mountain climbing harness in a motel bathroom.

Womb of Maggots – Decay Of Humanity (2016)
Statically riffed brutal slam deathcore. Are camo cargo shorts still popular? Do brutal death metallers still dress like DMX? Hang yourself with a mountain climbing harness in a motel bathroom.

Cranial Engorgement – Horrific Existence (2017)
Brutal Unique Leader style chug along death metal with thin riffs that don’t mean anything as the songs are all riff salads and don’t progress unlike Deeds of Flesh. Hang yourself with a mountain climbing harness in a motel bathroom.

Destroyers of All – Bleak Fragments (2016)
Dream Theater deathcore. Hang yourself with a mountain climbing harness in a motel bathroom.

Death of Kings – Kneel Before None (2017)
Bouncy, crossover thrash in the style of Municipal Waste and other beer metal poseurs. Hang yourself with a mountain climbing harness in a motel bathroom.

Necroblood – Collapse of the Human Race (2017)
Teitanblood style bouncy crustcore for scenesters in black leather battle jackets with Conqueror patches. Hang yourself with a mountain climbing harness in a motel bathroom

Délétère – Per Aspera Ad Pestilentiam (2017)
Sing along Gothenburg music posing as black metal. This is not black metal, this is basically the same thing as some power metal band dressed in assless chaps. And equally homo. Hang yourself with a mountain climbing harness in a motel bathroom.

Sepulchral – Back From the Dead (2017)/
Sepulchral just dumb down Autopsy and Entombed into punk songs for scenesters to get drunk before blacking out for the headliner. Hang yourself with a mountain climbing harness in a motel bathroom.

Cripta Oculta – Cripta Oculta (2017)
Screamo punk music with ambient interludes. Not raw black metal as claimed. Hang yourself with a mountain climbing harness in a motel bathroom.

Porta Daemonium – Serpent of Chaos (2017)
Bouncy post-hardcore shred wank. Lofi computer techdeaf. Hang yourself with a mountain climbing harness in a motel bathroom.

Dawn Of Retaliation – Apex (2017)
This deathcore isn’t the apex of anything. Hang yourself with a mountain climbing harness in a motel bathroom.

Morbid Flesh – Rites Of The Mangled (2017)
Bouncy scenester death ‘n’ roll with butt rock solos for brain dead idiots. Hang yourself with a mountain climbing harness in a motel bathroom.

Firespawn – The Reprobate (2017)
Repetitive death ‘n’ roll bullshit from Swedish scenesters. Hang yourself with a mountain climbing harness in a motel bathroom.

Inferno – Gnosis Kardias (Of Transcension and Involution) (2017)
Random symphonic post-hardcore pretending to be black metal for hipster beardos just like almost everything else on pretentious poseur label WTC productions. Hang yourself with a mountain climbing harness in a motel bathroom.

Arria Paetus – Arria Paetus (2017)
“Raw black metal” is mostly screamo. Arria Paetus are no different. Hang yourself with a mountain climbing harness in a motel bathroom.

Alan Blaisdell – Gravity (2017)
Slow deathcore for bug chasers. This Alan Blaisdell fellow doesn’t really like metal and has no idea what heavy metal actually is. Alan Blaisdell needs to hang himself with a mountain climbing harness in a motel bathroom.

Norrsköld – Withering Virtue – The Second Chapter (2017)
Hipster folk metalcore. Hang yourself with a mountain climbing harness in a motel bathroom.

Legion Massacre – Caged And Tortured (2017)
Repetitive, vocally driven death ‘n’ roll. Hang yourself with a mountain climbing harness in a motel bathroom.

Hellias – Eight Cardinal Sins (2017)
Hellias are the type of glam rock / speed metal hyrbid popularized by groups like Metal Church except they’re slow and boring and terrible. Hang yourself with a mountain climbing harness in a motel bathroom.

Apostate Viaticum – Before the Gates of Gomorrah (2017)
Boring black ‘n’ roll bullshit hipster rock. Hang yourself with a mountain climbing harness in a motel bathroom.

Varmia – Z mar twych (2017)
Black ‘n’ roll metalcore bullshit. Hang yourself with a mountain climbing harness in a motel bathroom.

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6 thoughts on “Sadistic Metal Reviews: 12-3-2017”

  1. Lee says:

    Please roast Archspire’s Relemtless Mutation next.

  2. Rainer Weikusat says:

    There are now breakdowns in the Pestlegion and exactly one guitar solo (on 10 tracks). The music is very simplistic tremolo-picked melodies plus speed/ thrash-metal riffs, drumming is mostly blasts. Also, blues has specific harmonic characteristcs one will, for instance, find on Motorhead albums, but not here.

    NB: This is not exactly a good album but it’s suitable as transition from speed/ thrash metal to something which is more black metal. It’s enjoyable, simple, uptempo music without any hint of serious content.

  3. Ripper says:

    Your dumb ass doesn’t even know how to spell poser ya retarded cunt. You’re the fucking poser.

  4. Necromancer says:

    How are old are you? Nowadays any kid can run a “metal” website pretending to be a true metalhead. And hiding behind a screen (?) New era of internet “headbangers”. Sad shit.

  5. Morbideathscream says:

    A band like Possession aren’t posers. Surely, they are true metallers, they just play generic uninspired mediocre black/death. They’re not horrid, just unmemorable.

    Holocausto just released a pointless comeback album. I’ll stick with Campo De Exterminio and the Warfare Noise split (each bands’ side of that split was excellent).

    1. Titus Pullo says:

      These guys are all poseurs. Possession are punks playing rock music posing as metal. That makes them poseurs. Throw poseurs off the roof.

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