Death Metal Underground Tshirts Are Here

Our first round of Death Metal Underground tshirts have arrived and can be yours within only a few days. Thanks to Cliff Kemple and the team at T.C. West Graphics, these tshirts are pro-printed Port & Co. “Core Blend” 50% cotton/50% polyester tshirts with the Death Metal Underground logo on the front and an inspirational message on the back.

All are size XL to fit giant Viking metalheads. We ship first class in sturdy packaging that is totally not discrete so your neighbors know that you worship Satan, Darwin and Nietzsche on the altar of the music of the undead ancients, or words to that effect. This first batch is not huge, so if you want one, speak up sooner rather than later!

SOLD OUT! — for now.

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59 thoughts on “Death Metal Underground Tshirts Are Here”

  1. thewaters says:

    Lame design……

    1. theripplesofreflection says:

      Since when are phalli lame

    2. canadaspaceman says:

      the shirt looks cool to me … the artwork I seen before somewhere.

      No sizes listed ? now that is lame.

      1. Robert says:

        They’re all XL as stated in the article.

        1. Fuck says:

          That piece of information was added to the article after the comments about it.

          1. canadaspaceman says:

            ah, I wondered how I missed it. .. an XL is too tight and usually too short on me.
            Haven’t worn that size comfortably for around ten years now.
            Want 2XL , XXL or bigger.

            1. TomWarri-ugh!! says:

              DMU readership confirmed as fat fucks.

              “Metal will never die! …But all the butter clogging my arteries means that I soon will :(“

              1. canadaspaceman says:

                you are a twerp and jealous of regular sized men?
                You are a metrosexual that thinks only skinny asses are “cool”? and hell yeah buddy, you are very wanted in prison.

                1. TomWarri-ugh!! says:

                  Nah bro, Prison is full of Africans, and I hear they like ’em plumper. I’m sure they’d love to tit fuck a blob like you.

                  1. canadaspaceman says:

                    been behind bars and know how to deal with the situations, and last time I was let out, the guys actually cheered for my release as we thought it was hopeless, but I can get along with everybody but faggots and racemixers … even freakin Muslims as they got a code too. I just don’t get friendly as they are the same as spics. They are backstabbers and rapists.
                    Little guys like you should worry though. :D

  2. this is the most cynical cash grab in history. you rail against funderground mentality and sell this shit. fuck you, prozak, i emphatically disdain your fuckin queer texan ass. this shirt is even more formulaic than your day job. you fuckin pussy.

    i for one am not advertising your gay false elitist site on my back, if you want to advertise something on my back i suggest you cum on it instead of in my fucking mouth and eyes like you do every time you pop off here instead of moderating this complete shit site, you fuckin curly haired bitch

    why don’t you use your extensive knowledge of computers to get with the fuckin program

      1. Necrotic Phlebotomism says:

        You won… the wet t-shirt contest my nigga!

  3. Fuck says:

    Bought without much consideration. That shit better be at least a large.

    1. Volkisch Triumphator says:

      My tall, broad-shouldered Nordic body requires at least an XL if I am not to look like a ragamuffin.

      Word on the street is Prozak is short and portly so we’re probably fuxxed.

      1. Robert says:

        He sounds like a fat guy. The way they worship “might makes right” ideology, I would assume Brett/Prozak were tall, fit ubermensch that hunt bear with their bare(see what I did there) hands. But when I heard Brett/Prozak speak, he sounds like a fat guy from up North.

        1. fenrir says:

          When and where exactly did you read Brett or Prozak spousing Might is Right?
          Give me a link to an article, or at least a title so I can prove you wrong through proper reading comprehension.

          1. #1 Prozak H8r says:

            it’s funny cuz prozak belittles certain phenotypic traits such as having a “moon face” and speaks of the well-bred having physical beauty and yet he is a short, fat, likely brown-eyed, dumpy looking hobbit.

          2. Kvädare says:

            I will explain.

            If you don’t believe in objective universal morality, then you are a genocidal savage who believes that might makes right.
            Those are the only two options.

            1. Abominable Goatpenis says:

              You make no effort to hide your homosexual tendencies.

              1. Kvädare says:

                You make no effort to troll well.
                Try harder, goatpenis.

          3. Syphilis says:

            I heard he sodomizes the weak and spreads STDs

        2. says:

          The problem with nu-Prozak is all the life-affirming bullshit. It is baffling how smoking weed could actually make someone less of a faggot, but that could just be blamed on sentimentalism caused by aging and hardening of the arteries.

    2. Vark says:

      Stop consuming burgers!

  4. kek says:

    > US only
    > no size info

    Is it XXXXXXL then?

    As a True Norwegian Black Metaller, I would like the crop top version.

  5. whateverthefuck says:

    t-shirts to let everyone know you’re an aspie, YEAH

    they’re cool but the design in the front is too simplistic. would have preferred:
    front – same drawing with above or below the “death metal underground”
    back – “only death is real” (small caps, no shouting, statement of fact)

    have a killer shopping spree

    1. Sclerotic Oncologist says:

      Well I would’ve preferred that you skip that fey-ass gay-ass skeleton, tiptoeing ever so delicately, and put

      “Power-worship by the powerless”

  6. Glibc says:

    In your interview on Red Ice radio, around the 37 minute mark you exemplify your point by talking about threads in a computer program. Do you write code as well?

  7. don moratt says:

    i wear this shirt everywhere i go since i bought it. i have not washed it since opening the package and breathing in the musty air trapped between the folds of cloth. the same air father prozak subsists on. a sweet, mellow scent of pipe tobacco wafted over my nostrils and through my sinus cavity. i was truly one with ANUS on this glorious day.

  8. LostInTheANUS says:

    Can I use this shirt as a cum rag?

    1. We specified protein-repellent coating as part of the technical requirements for these shirts. Because… we knew.

      1. Thus the poly blend. These shirts can take multiple loads unlike Yosuke’s all cotton cumrags.

      2. LostInTheANUS says:

        Wow, you guys really think of everything, shame it just ships to the US for now, I’ll wait until distribution extends to Europe as well so I can have my very own DMU cumrag!

    2. S.P.E.R.M. says:

      Wasting such a good source of protein and nutrients should be a punishable offense.

      1. Exfoliation says:

        In the apocalypse women will have to swallow cum to get the proper protein and baby factories arise so we can eat fatted children slowly boiled in saline brine, those who lift weights will trade too shelf furs and canned goods to sneak a swallow of fresh load to keep their hard earned gains

  9. Rob says:


    1. this trip is turning into a bit letdown says:

      Read the fucking post dipshit

  10. Vigilance says:

    Low effort. Should have consulted me.

    1. Vigilance says:

      Seriously hunny this is not going to go well with my jackboots.

  11. Skull Powder says:

    > 50% polyester

    Xenoestrogens to further DMU’s gay agenda.

    > CONUSA orders only

    Nationalistic oppression.

    > All are size XL

    1. some guy says:

      > implying XL is for fatties

      Haha. Pipsqueak.

      1. canadaspaceman says:

        and, other adjectives you could have used — squirt, midget, kid, stringbean, bonerack, hobbit, munchkin, and shorty.

        1. Skull Powder says:

          These sizes vary so much between brands that we’ll just have to get the actual measurements in order to settle whether the shirts fit Greek statues or Cheetos enthusiasts.

  12. Weltmacht says:

    When are the Black’n’Roll Underground shirts going to be shipping?

  13. meat says:

    i should learn some martial arts before wearing this shirt

  14. Rafael Nobre says:

    Do you ship abroad to Brazil ?

  15. Tittious Cunt says:

    Not even worth a penny. Shove it up your ass

    1. How about we pry open yours? I’ll get the carjack and the pool noodle. Your blood should be an adequate lubricant.

      1. Tittious Cunt says:

        Oh hey, it’s Brett Stevens little bitch puppy. You done sucking him off for today you fat poser fuck?

        1. canadaspaceman says:

          so funny.. I forgot to laugh

          1. Tittious Cunt says:

            Go back to prison fatty boom boom

  16. I am seeing these lovely dreidel spinning ads on this site…

    but really why even bother “approving” comments? Wouldn’t be a lot more fun and chaotic and trve if you can just go crazy with the comments like the old dayz?

  17. Barbara Overenacts a Vague Cat Cock says:

    So much weird body-image shit going on here… A lot of you niggas sound like a group of 15-year old meangirls, y’all are aggro about it. LOL

    1. canadaspaceman says:

      I am very mean, like a police sergeant, I want to stomp, and am very hopped up !
      Oh yeah, Mean Girls, and Mean Girls 2,. is mandatory viewing! so many hot chicks !

    2. canadaspaceman says:

      and you are the nigger for saying “nigga” !

    3. Unique Tweadler says:

      This nigga is hopped up on meth, I think.

  18. Geriatric Senility Spawns Poor Aesthetics says:

    A fantastic way to show the world at large you are a turd fondling closet faggot,capable of taking multiple loads, and deep rectal thrusts to the point of complete prolapse

  19. Exfoliation says:

    It’d be funny if someone in a band wore this then they got a bad review

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