Do You Miss the Old School Girl Scouts “Thin Mints”? Try the Sprouts Mint Chip Malt Balls

Disclaimer: no one is going to pay us for any endorsements on this site, but just so you know, this poast is both unsolicited and unpaid.

Maybe you remember the Girl Scouts cookies from the pre-Clinton years: flavorful, two bucks for a large box, and available from innocent female children who could spot a red-eyed metalhead at twenty paces and walk away with a huge sale.

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Poetry Submission: “Church-Burner”

They say you’ve born to the eternal kidness
and that was conceived by divine grace
that came to end with the perversion and evil
and died on the cross to humanity save

The perversion and evil only started after you came
because you were only a crazy liar
false saints were with you on your insanity
and the more stupids believed on you

Thieves and corrupts
now elited priests
they sell pieces
of cloth saying it was yours
the chief of insanity
now is reigning at rome
the perversion and evil
only started after you came

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RIP Burke Shelley (1950-2022)

On January 10, Burke Shelley — bassist, songwriter, and pathfinder of NWOBHM-prog hybrid outlier Budgie — passed away in his hometown of Cardiff, Wales. A hybrid that sounded like Black Sabbath, Grand Funk Railroad, and Yes in an infernal three-way, Budgie possessed its own style and vision of the world, leading to an enormous influence on much of metal and rock to follow.

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Sadistic Metal Reviews: Forever January 6, 2020 Edition

It is now painfully clear that modern society has entered its endgame. Our agricultural miracle based on fossil fuels has reversed itself, no one trusts the sham elections, intelligent people are not reproducing, our infrastructure has rotted, technological development has stalled, most people have gone insane, and hope-cope has replaced solid thinking as we try to rationalize the decline.

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Seax – High on Metal (2012)

To appreciate metal means that to a degree one appreciates its roots and constituent influences, sometimes even when they incorporate elements of newer subgenres. Seax makes classic heavy metal in the Iron Maiden or Judas Priest style as if it were Master covering it: stripped down, uptempo, and riff-powered.

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