Sadistic Metal Reviews: Return to Carnage Edition

Sometimes death is waiting just around the corner. Sometimes death is the best option.

Project .44 – The System Doesn’t Work

Fun party crossover that rides revolutionary riffs until midsection breaks, intimating stadium heavy metal that never arrives, only to go back to more of the same. Song after song, we hear a band that wants to settle itself into the battleground of ideas but not enough courage is mustered. The cliche is there, but, like Testament, it lacks any substance past a catchy riff, one generic track after another. The heavily filtered vocals sink it more into the mire of oblivion.

Karelian Warcry – Veripellot

Advertised as blackened death metal, this is screamo played over a variety of death metal-influenced alternative metal that came to be known as dark metal. The quality is sufficiently rewarding, with moments that could almost be called interesting, but, like post-1995 At the Gates, it is never able to leave the radio-friendly, festival-ready, disposable tracks. What you have is a great guitar tone and well-studied riffs that fall through the cracks because there is no vision of the transcendent.

Aurora Disease – Epitaph

Advertised as a one-man metal band, this comes through as avant-garde weirdo urban mélange reminiscent of Peste Noire without the strength of drive or enough alienation to make the cut. The result feels sincere enough, the effort is present, the production and musicianship are present. Combining streams of understated black metal to emphasize a journey through words embedded in melody lines, Aurora Disease will find a fanbase among those who value message and aura packaged in decent production and effortful artistry. For those holding art to a higher standard of unity, aesthetic, and necessity, this release is forgettable.

Kaleidobolt – Karakuchi

Funny Scooby-Doo chase music with solos reminiscent of 70s music without actually entirely imitating it. This is simultaneously old and new. The band has a grasp of pop music dynamics and will be adept at playing festivals, weddings, and band battles, entertaining the many with guitar effects, solos, grooves, and the charisma of the momentary. Tomorrow, you won’t remember this band or this release.

AIDS Wolf – Harsh Human Style

Random snare hits, filtered farts, and an indistinct bass-guitar wobble, the opening of the present release reflects the name of the project as well as the promo pictures of the band members. The intent is a sort of experimental avant-garde without compunction. The band gets points for going all out on this idea and being able to record it. In its attempt and presentation, it is more sincere and pure than pop nonsense out there; its aesthetic constant and the streams of improvisation yield new patterns with each passing moment. Nevertheless, and despite the artistic unity, because of origin and intent, this is ultimately artsy-fartsy gutter music, coming from and destined for the garbage bin of human consciousness.

Black Reuss – ‘ENDGAME’ (Song from the Album Death)

Unfiltered, less directed allusions to goth rock and metal, Black Reuss dance to the tune of old, already very old and tired tropes used to focused effect through pop goth metal with male vocals. It does with the most established and generic materials, something that can stand on its own feet despite not moving the dial. The name of the virtue here is circumspection.

Epigram – Obsolescent

An admixture of Arch Enemy, Behemoth, and Amon Amarth, Epigram builds songs with a tried and true formula that will land with fans of the style. The structure is pop heavy metal, and the aesthetic relies on pushing simple catchy melodies over rhythmic riffs, and racing triggered drums with overprocessed and indistinct growls.

Dark Phantom – The Redline

Rhythmic Pantera and At the Gates, with lots of solos, political and social commentary from the Middle East. Lots of ‘heart’, computer games influence, allowing good musicianship and production in greater quantities, has made it so that anyone can make what in the 90s was the purview of media soundtrack composers. Nothing here will surprise, but the guitarwork might interest young guitar enthusiasts.

Devil Empire – Inside Infernal Anthropy Thrones

Catchy, sometimes unwittingly funny, abrupt, and lacking a sense of flow, this music sounds like a random collection of passages from what could be considered “cool driving black metal music”. Sometimes the music even appears to get stuck. The vocals sound right out of the 2000s by bands with vocalists who didn’t quite make the cut. The release ticks the style boxes, and it has the heart of the villager who happened upon a Mayhem album here, a Burzum there, and decades later found out he could do a lot of this in his bedroom. Computer orchestrations are thrown willy-nilly, and nothing in here makes sense. The intent, it seems, would be maximizing (farming?) aura moment by moment without regard for what just passed and what comes next in the music. While other music reviewed is just uninspired and mediocre, Devil Empire sounds like the product of passion and familiarity with (though definitely not mastery of) the morass of an underground genre. Marginally endearing and ultimately comical, it remains a belated and disorganized artifact of subpar releases of the past.

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17 thoughts on “Sadistic Metal Reviews: Return to Carnage Edition”

  1. Freya Helvig says:

    My real actual name, of the many, is Shaari Avadon. The Angel of the void, the abyss, the oblivion. The greatest.

  2. Cynical says:

    Wow, AIDS Wolf might be the worst band in history. I have no idea how you dredged *that* one up.

  3. Lord of Shadows and Goldenwood says:

    Lukewarm Metal Reviews?

  4. Doug says:

    Ugh, 99% sure that’s me the morning after graduation 1988. Should’ve known those fuckers would take a picture. Canadian Mist straight out of the bottle, wouldn’t touch the stuff again if you paid me!

    Mixed emotions on the new approach to reviews but leaning heavily towards a positive reviews review. Speaking of alcohol, they seem to lack any such influence (contrasting with the gloriously unhinged reviews of old) which I suppose one could make the case is a good thing. Thanks for the quality read and boredom fix.

    1. Poomoji Wanktobasura says:

      Alcohol? This site reeks of weed. Good quality weed, bad quality weed, don’t make a shit, you’re still stoned af at 4:30am in the kitchenette making pizza out of dog food and cheese.

      1. Blowhole says:

        As we now know, it’s all a slippery slope to huffing Sunnyside while edging to Animal Fight Night all night.

        1. Poomoji Wanktobasura says:

          I prefer recreational shoplifting while drunk on Erewhon saki.

      2. Doug says:

        God I hope so.

        1. Accidental Autistic Profundity (Verified by Time Travelers From The Future) says:

          People take drugs for one of two reasons.

          Either they are damaged and hiding from the world.

          Or they are the type of person who ends up becoming a carnie, con man, Army recruiter, lawyer, etc.

          An aggressive parasite wearing a human skin-suit.

          1. 666 says:

            This is your brain on purity spirals

            1. Accidental Autistic Profundity (Verified by Time Travelers From The Future) says:

              That is what people say when they fear that someone might have standards.

              1. 666 says:

                your standards are not special

                1. Accidental Autistic Profundity (Verified by Time Travelers From The Future) says:

                  Exactly what you would expect a poseur to say. You are just afraid that anyone has standards because if we do your poseur bands are not special.

          2. Doug says:

            Oof, you can’t just blurt out some random topic, Sunshine. If you’re that desperate to insert yourself then at least legitimize it with “off topic…” (or otherwise indicate that you are not oblivious) so your grandstand won’t sound so retarded. Then any subsequent interaction will not be grade A dumbassery.

      3. C_Moose says:

        Fent > weed

  5. Anacrusis Autist says:

    Brett, I’m going to keep commenting about Anacrusis until you do something about them. This website is incomplete so long as their four albums and demo haven’t been reviewed. The demo is great, the first two albums are killer, the third album is a masterpiece, and the fourth is excellent and represents an unexplored path metal could have taken.

  6. Flying Kites says:

    Death is not the worst thing in life. If it was, that would mean being born was the worst thing in somebody’s life. Death is a triumph.

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