Decapitated Formally Charged With Rape

All members of Polish nu-metal band Decapitated were formally charged with rape and kidnapping in Spokane, Washington.

The band insists the charges are bullshit and that the alleged victim was merely a drunk, regretful groupie. While this is probably the case, Decapitated should break up by mass jailhouse suicide by short drop hanging themselves with their standard issue tighty whities’ elastic waistband. That would be a most fitting solution. Should the waistband break, Decapitated should garrote one another with another pair. The alleged victim should jump off a bridge if she is a perjurer. If she isn’t and was actually gangraped, she should jump off a bridge anyway for even wanting to party with a nu-metal band.

Suicide of the stupid and the sell-outs should never be discouraged as the smartest option for the future of metal and humanity as a whole species. Both suspect and accuser ending their existence would be the most compassionate option for the rest of us. If Decapitated are kept on suicide watch, then when they get out of jail they should drive their bus off a cliff at high speed like Thelma and Louis. Or slit their throats with a jagged linoleum shard. Preferably the latter.

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18 thoughts on “Decapitated Formally Charged With Rape”

  1. neutronhammer says:

    Maybe they’ll accidentally drop a bar of soap in the shower and get plumbed by a bunch of Silverbacks. They can then play reggae interspersed with breakdowns and nu metal gang-shouts all while dressed in the jersey of the Ghanaian national soccer team at at a charity festival for #MeToo-ers

    1. Gorgowocoa says:

      Lol jealous much?? Seems to me like these bros had thw guts to do what most here can only dream of. Go ahead and try and deny it you’ll just make me laugh even harder

    2. Richard Roma says:

      There’s no “silverbacks” in Spokane, just toothless meth heads and a few drunken Indians. Maybe a stray cholo or two… still, interesting to see what actually happened in this case.

  2. national geographic nipples says:

    If you wanna piss off liberals and commies, pretend to side with Decapitated here, it works, trust me

  3. I Sacrificed My ANUS To Brett Stevens says:

    I don’t see what the big deal is about rape. It’s just a dick in your hole for a few minutes. It’s nowhere near as bad as murder, cancer, or getting flirty eyes from a fat chick. And really, women can’t be raped since the vagina is designed to accommodate cock. Only men can be raped. If a woman is penetrated anally against her will, she’s just experiencing male rape, which is an excellent learning experience for her, to discover the struggles that men go through.

    For women, rape isn’t a big deal. It’s just typical female exaggeration to get attention. They all fantasize about rape so they actually enjoy it. They just want to trade in their “victim” status for clothing and jewelry and don’t want to give sex away for free. Really, the only punishment for rape should be to pay the equivalent of the going rate for whatever sex act was performed with a local prostitute of equivalent attractiveness. Since it’s the same punishment, why would anyone rape a Feminist instead of a beautiful woman?

    Those fat ugly feminists that scream the loudest that “no means NO,” are actually hoping to limit the amount of sex the genetically gifted attractive women get. And, in so doing, hoping that some hapless male starving for sex will find himself scraping the very, very bottom of the barrel where the fat and ugly feminist will finally have the chance to scream, “YES, FUCK ME HARD.”

    Hey fat ugly feminists, it isn’t going to work. You only really have one option. Lose the weight, learn how to use make up, and get an overhaul of your personality. In some cases you may need extensive plastic surgery to have any hope of getting my cock rammed into your ass. In some extreme cases, it is entirely hopeless and you should just give up. If you are this last case, try having sex with animals if you find you can approach them without scaring them away.

    1. Daniyal Muraat's tiny penis says:

      You want it up your ass?

      1. I Sacrificed My ANUS To Brett Stevens says:

        YES! FUCK ME HARD! I WANT YOUR SEXY 12 INCH ROD TO FILL EVERY CREVICE!

    2. Gorgowocoa says:

      Word lololol

      1. Intercranial Impairment says:

        Stop linking to false news sites.

      2. I Sacrificed My ANUS To Brett Stevens says:

        I will proudly fuck every feminist I see, bonus points if they are a tranny.

    3. Rainer Weikusat says:

      Time for “don’t feed the trolls” is past hence,

      In more civilized societies than USA-current apparently is, “full outlawry” has been awarded to people for lesser offences.

  4. I'm black says:

    U guys r like sooooo mean

  5. ben umanov's dildo dradel says:

    Huhuh uhhuhuhu uuhhuuhuh you said Polish. Polish my knob beavis uh huhuh

  6. canadaspaceman says:

    what – the – fuck

    highly doubt it was “rape”, but more likely about a drunk/high chick who learned how to take advantage of some band

  7. MGTOW says:

    whats the point of accomplishing something in life, to be successful, when people like this groupie and writer of articles like this, who will never accomplish anything near to the third of the people or band they trash in their platform. They are no better than the SJW virtue signaling in order to raise above or be somehow recognized otherwise, than talking and making shit up of those who do, in fact done something with their lives.

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