Hipster Whale Metal is Not Metal

by Mike Arsenyev
December 10, 2012 –

The days of acceptance to bulk should be forgotten. Bulk is excess. Excess leads to destruction (not the destruction which infuriates society), but rather an influx of estrogen that supports cute things. Cute things are cute, but not part of the spirit of metal.

What metal captured was something desolate, isolated, and most importantly; realized.

As most Romantic art captured the joys and fears of life, our society tends to suckle on the opposite. Quick fixes for a quick stimuli, with no real objective. Actually, there is an objective. It’s money and acceptance.

Art is meant to challenge, which an abyss would. We could attribute art to the abyss.

Say no to Hipster Whale Metal.


  • Shaman

    I have always wondered, though, if metal could ever legitimately get away with somehow incorporating wildlife…

  • Dominating Fucker

    Hello everyone!

    I was the one who started the “jihad against the Gojira guestbook” a couple years ago and, I am proud to announce that thanks to me, the band decided to close their guestbook! Another triumph for the Anus Troops of Doom!!!

    1. Steve08

      It’s a reference to the fact that Gojira sing about environmental conservation, and use sea imagery often, and even mention whales often in their song titles.

      And it also serves to codify them a bit better, cause they don’t really fit into any actual extreme metal subgenre or hybridization of subgenres… so they don’t deserve to be treated as if they are an actual metal band, ya know?

  • ErMerGerd

    It’s been a while since I’ve read something written by elitists. Good to know you’re all still out there, feeling pseudo-superiority over everyone else.
    Gojira are a great band.

  • sher

    max bloodworth doesn’t like gojira. dominating fucker leads internet jihads (lolwut) against gojira. both of you have way too damn much time on your hands.

  • Some Who

    I like some of their songs (Backbone 4ex) but they are far from what some of my friends want them to be. I could live happily without them