More Free Press for Shining

Swedish emo black ‘n’ roll pop punk band Shining has been kicked off a show in the fat hipster junkie haven of Portland, leaving the funderground’s communist media pussies and useless indie rock blogs abuzz about “alleged” acts of shock rock front man Kvarforth. Though not charged with a crime at this time, the self mutilating schizophrenic man kisser has been accused of “violent, racist, sexist, nazi behavior,” completing the full checklist of character assassinations attempted by the left on a daily basis. But apparently unbeknownst to all of these out of touch basement-dwelling butt rock journalists this is the exact GG-Allin LARPing Kvarforth has been doing at every single show and in every single interview for over two decades. Therefore, this mass collusion has accomplished nothing outside of promoting Shining and their upcoming tour dates.

It’s no surprise that Shining’s “No More Safe Space” tour was too dangerous for the snowflakes of Portland, Oregon as its music scene is known for defiling heroin addictions and hypersensitive emotional basket cases. Anyone who’s known about Shining for more than a day knows the suicidal pop rock outfit has spent years building a reputation of self mutilation, attacks on concertgoers, faked suicides, and terrifying overweight snowflakes. The real story is how foolishly ignorant the leftist metal media is of their obvious promotion of the very bands and musicians they claim to stand against. Instead of writing articles focused on their laughable communist agenda they are telling the world what Shining fans already know and projecting the exact bad dude narrative that Shining constructs to attract disgruntled teeny boppers looking for something a little edgier. But given that these journalists have openly admitted that their Kardashian style trash articles generate more clicks than their whiny autistic ramblings we can now begin to understand that the mighty dollar takes precedence over their embarrassing political agenda on any given day.

As one who sees no greater pleasure than the euphoric schadenfreude found in the suffering of social justice warriors, I am delightfully amused by the campaign of chaos and mayhem that’s being waged by Kvarforth. Therefore, I would like to proudly do my part in sharing the remaining Shining tour dates (also with bore “metal” band Revenge) for the world to see even if dedicated headbangers probably shouldn’t go unless they want to experience the culture wars firsthand:

05/18/17 Oakland, CA Metro Opera House
05/19/17 Las Vegas, NV Adrenaline
05/20/17 Los Angeles, CA Complex
05/21/17 Phoenix, AZ Joe’s Grotto
05/23/17 Austin, TX Grizzly Hall
05/24/17 Fort Worth, TX Rail Club

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9 thoughts on “More Free Press for Shining”

  1. GGALLIN1776 says:

    He annoys me, but maybe he’ll kill some sjw’s

    1. aol instant messenger says:

      I hope some day he goes out the way GG planned to

      1. GGALLIN1776 says:

        It would be cool but I doubt it, seems more of an attention whore than truly suicidal/homicidal. You would imagine the wounds that caused those gross ass ribbons of scars on his arms should’ve done it long ago though. No clue how one can hack at themselves like that.

        1. Rainer Weikusat says:

          These are all surface cuts in an area without major blood vessels. Completely harmless and not even very painful unless done in quick succession (the initial cut will obviously hurt but that’s going to die down quickly). Some people are miswired such that they actually enjoy these kind of sensations.

  2. Rainer Weikusat says:

    Nice quote from blog:

    I knew nothing about Shining, the next band to take the stage. Being me, I hate to research bands. I think it’s fun to go to a concert without knowing what’s about to happen.

    That’s “I’m a [photo-mobile armed] event tourists going to shows because they’re events. I don’t care who’s playing, that’s boring!”. It’s somewhat telling that – despite of all her purported disgust – the lady still couldn’t resent taking a photo or two — “Live homophobic, self-mutilating Nazi-Swede with an eagle tatoo! Gotta see this one!”.

    The extremely interesting question here is obviously “If you didn’t like the show, as you said, why didn’t you just leave and leave it to the people who did like it?” (And why do you think performance you happen to dislike ought to be prohibited? Pretty intolerant, isn’t it?). I do my best to ignore shows of bands I don’t like all the time, even despite I really, really don’t like them. That’s easy. Have some of your favourite beverage, come up with a few jokes about “these retards” and wait until it’s over.

    BTW, musically, this seems to be pretty run-off-the-mill DSBM and using a perfectly random label stack like “emo black ‘n’ roll pop punk” just to communicate “I don’t like it but can’t tell why” is pretty silly. Judging from a fairly short sample, that’s slowed down, tremolo-picked ebb-and-flow riffing (“flowing black metal”) intended to create a ‘depressive’ atmosphere. This it fails to achieve by want of content a mind could engage with.

    A good way to interrupt ostentative naval-gazing like this would seem to be to pour some lighter fluid into the navel and set it alight.

    1. aol instant messenger says:

      Have you heard Halmstad? Psychedelic rock elements, random blues interludes, Louis Armstrong-ish crooning parts, big chunky downtuned riffs, etc etc. For better or worse it’s not “run-of-the-mill” DSBM. Referring to their recent stuff as rock music isn’t just dmu elitism.

  3. It's just brown and water says:

    That ‘snowflake’ blog article reads like a parody. Good gravy.

  4. Durp says:

    Phoenix, AZ has been cancelled, too.

  5. Alex_InvertedCross666 says:

    Hello,

    Staff, could you review this awesome band from Romania ?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vw3HmwQ5PQk

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