Swedish emo black ‘n’ roll pop punk band Shining has been kicked off a show in the fat hipster junkie haven of Portland, leaving the funderground’s communist media pussies and useless indie rock blogs abuzz about “alleged” acts of shock rock front man Kvarforth. Though not charged with a crime at this time, the self mutilating schizophrenic man kisser has been accused of “violent, racist, sexist, nazi behavior,” completing the full checklist of character assassinations attempted by the left on a daily basis. But apparently unbeknownst to all of these out of touch basement-dwelling butt rock journalists this is the exact GG-Allin LARPing Kvarforth has been doing at every single show and in every single interview for over two decades. Therefore, this mass collusion has accomplished nothing outside of promoting Shining and their upcoming tour dates.
It’s no surprise that Shining’s “No More Safe Space” tour was too dangerous for the snowflakes of Portland, Oregon as its music scene is known for defiling heroin addictions and hypersensitive emotional basket cases. Anyone who’s known about Shining for more than a day knows the suicidal pop rock outfit has spent years building a reputation of self mutilation, attacks on concertgoers, faked suicides, and terrifying overweight snowflakes. The real story is how foolishly ignorant the leftist metal media is of their obvious promotion of the very bands and musicians they claim to stand against. Instead of writing articles focused on their laughable communist agenda they are telling the world what Shining fans already know and projecting the exact bad dude narrative that Shining constructs to attract disgruntled teeny boppers looking for something a little edgier. But given that these journalists have openly admitted that their Kardashian style trash articles generate more clicks than their whiny autistic ramblings we can now begin to understand that the mighty dollar takes precedence over their embarrassing political agenda on any given day.
As one who sees no greater pleasure than the euphoric schadenfreude found in the suffering of social justice warriors, I am delightfully amused by the campaign of chaos and mayhem that’s being waged by Kvarforth. Therefore, I would like to proudly do my part in sharing the remaining Shining tour dates (also with bore “metal” band Revenge) for the world to see even if dedicated headbangers probably shouldn’t go unless they want to experience the culture wars firsthand:
05/18/17 Oakland, CA Metro Opera House
05/19/17 Las Vegas, NV Adrenaline
05/20/17 Los Angeles, CA Complex
05/21/17 Phoenix, AZ Joe’s Grotto
05/23/17 Austin, TX Grizzly Hall
05/24/17 Fort Worth, TX Rail Club