Bought an EP of Cold Dark Place by Mastadon, since the album cover looked cool, like a classic Aeternus. To my dismay, as I started track one, some horrible over-produced folk-rock attempt came blaring through my headphones, complete with horrible synced male and female off-pitched vocals. Another track has a weird, crappy beat and Jane’s addiction styled vocals. These songs are so bad that its hard to listen to more than fifteen seconds of each song before feeling violently ripped-off.
Upon reflection, I realized that Cold Dark Place is a lame name for a recording. It sounds like a vagina that couldn’t get going properly for sex or something. The four tracks on this thing are so bad that I not only wanted to return the CD, I actually wanted to throw it at someone, and hit them in the head with it. I don’t know what the hell they thought they were doing with this recording, but it frankly sounds like a failed attempt to merge Stevie Nicks with Jane’s Addiction or something. Surely, this does not belong in the metal section. I don’t know if this band’s other albums are as pitiful as this one. If so, this band should be purged from metal altogether. It’s hard for me to even go back and try to listen to the songs to describe each one. Trying to listen to 20 seconds of each song , twice through made me feel like going to anger management courses, because this album is so wimpy. This EP was a total fail, and could explain things like the Vegas Massacre. When people get ripped off, they get violent.