The new Apple iSpoz™:

• Smaller than the iPod, iPhone, or Apple Watch
• Communicates through your auditory channels like schizophrenia
• No keyboard, reads nerve impulses directly from your spine
• Self-powering from bodily warmth
• Attractive, Euro-modern design in a tiny package
• Fits securely in the rectum for secure and uninterrupted use

Available exclusively on Death Metal Underground paired with the war metal or post-metal release of your choice.

Tags: apple, gadgets, social media