The new Apple iSpoz™:
- Smaller than the iPod, iPhone, or Apple Watch
- Communicates through your auditory channels like schizophrenia
- No keyboard, reads nerve impulses directly from your spine
- Self-powering from bodily warmth
- Attractive, Euro-modern design in a tiny package
- Fits securely in the rectum for secure and uninterrupted use
Available exclusively on Death Metal Underground paired with the war metal or post-metal release of your choice.
Tags: apple, gadgets, social media
Will pre-orders be available? I would like to throw my hard-earned Amazon van driver wages at this, act extremely shocked that it ships four months after the release date, and only show a slightest amount of indifference when the lithium battery loses quality after two weeks of use.
Dont fear the Reamer!
I remember the iVomitOnGodsChild, with Paul Ledney holding an iMac (or whatever) in the field from the DtSoG album cover. That was just brilliant.
I miss John Kerry Dethrone the Son of God. Brett needs to upload it to youtube.
Nothing good is on YouTube except sound clips, since anything good gets banned, and this surely would get banned.
Why, because it’s anti-Catholic and mocking the Irish?
I don’t know if it matters what it is, only who posted it. Google has been consistently opposed to our group of sites.
It’s on youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TEZPws99WBQ
I don’t speak for Muhammed, but this shit rips! Thanks!
Does the app work in political no-go zones?
It serves as a transponder identifying you as an NGO plane full of refugees.
“paired with the war metal or post-metal release of your choice”
Naaaah, this is a device to be used with only the finest of the dark arts. Watain or Nargaroth (or modern Mayhem?), no other band is worthy of such technological quintessence.
The throbbing pulse of post-1996 Mayhem, Nargaroth, or Watain might make this device come alive.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeMqJO1fv3Y
Some of it is good