Billions celebrate Constantine’s syncretic solar deity’s crucifixion by eating fish today. Here’s a playlist of seven classic speed and death metal songs to contemplate this excruciating Roman suffocation method:
Child prodigy, genius wielder of the Force, Darth Vader was the result of an excess of talent and aptitude leading to a complete disregard for standards and rules, tradition and caution. The Dark Side’s poster boy was kind enough to impose his favorite 10 underground metal songs on us:
10. Master – Funeral Bitch
Don’t fail me again, Admiral.
9. Merciless – Dreadful Fate!
I am altering the deal. Pray I don’t alter it any further.
8. Massacra – Researchers Of Tortures
Perhaps I can find new ways to motivate them.
7. Bolt Thrower – World Eater
The Empire will compensate you, if he dies. Put him in.
6. Torchure – Genocidal Confessions
Join me, and together we can rule the galaxy as father and son.
5. Blaspherian – In the Shadow of his Blasphemous Glory
I hope so, Commander, for your sake. The Emperor is not as forgiving as I am.
4. Brutal Truth – I See Red
He is as clumsy as he is stupid!
3. Celtic Frost – Visual Aggression
No. Leave them to me. I will deal with them myself.
2. Destruction – Bestial Invasion
You underestimate the power of the Dark Side. If you will not fight, then you will meet your destiny.
Growing up as a ruthless barbarian in a desolate and cruel world born made Conan the toughest around. He is the wet dream of every orthodox power metal fan and the unspoken desire of funderground war metal addicts. This is a list of the 10 underground metal songs that this head crusher chose for us:
10. Blood – Sodomize the Weak
Crush your enemies. See them driven before you. Hear the lamentations of their women.
9. Atrocity – Hold Out (To The End)
Crom, I have never prayed to you before. I have no tongue for it. No one, not even you, will remember if we were good men or bad. Why we fought, or why we died. All that matters is that two stood against many. That’s what’s important! Valor pleases you, Crom… so grant me one request. Grant me revenge! And if you do not listen, then to HELL with you!
8. Cirith Ungol – Master of the Pit
The riddle… of steel.
7. Iron Maiden- The Duelist
For us, there is no spring. Just the wind that smells fresh before the storm.
6. Bathory – To Enter Your Mountain
He is strong! If I die, I have to go before him, and he will ask me, “What is the riddle of steel?” If I don’t know it, he will cast me out of Valhalla and laugh at me. That’s Crom, strong on his mountain!
Rambo swung by and talked metal over a couple of beers this week. A now spirit-broken idealist, Rambo expressed his concerns for the sad state of modern life in the cities. I could not miss the palpable misanthropy in his tone as he crushed cans with one hand describing the faint-heartedness of limp-bodied SJWs.
10. Sepultura – Sarcastic Existence
There are no friendly civilians!
9. Marduk – Fistfucking Gods Planet
Don’t look at me, look at the road! That’s how accidents happen.
8. Heresiarch – Intransingent
Is there a law against me getting something to eat here?
7. Fallen Christ – Satanas
I’m no tourist.
6. Black Sabbath – Nightmare
Your worst nightmare.
5. Metallica – Fade To Black
Sir, do we get to win this time?
4. Immolation – Those Left Behind
They’re all gone Sir.
3. Blood – Defaced Total Mutilation
I’ve got blood and everything and I’m tryin’ to hold him together! I’m puttin’… the guy’s fuckin’ insides keep coming out!
2. Rigor Mortis – Welcome to Your Funeral
I could have killed ’em all, I could’ve killed you. In town you’re the law, out here it’s me. Don’t push it! Don’t push it or I’ll give you a war you won’t believe. Let it go. Let it go!!
1. Amebix – Drink and be Merry
For me civilian life is nothing! In the field we had a code of honor, you watch my back, I watch yours. Back here there’s nothing!