Apple Releases New iSpoz™ Social Media Portal

The new Apple iSpoz™:

  • Smaller than the iPod, iPhone, or Apple Watch
  • Communicates through your auditory channels like schizophrenia
  • No keyboard, reads nerve impulses directly from your spine
  • Self-powering from bodily warmth
  • Attractive, Euro-modern design in a tiny package
  • Fits securely in the rectum for secure and uninterrupted use

Available exclusively on Death Metal Underground paired with the war metal or post-metal release of your choice.

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Sadistic Metal Reviews: Lose Your Mind And Your Ass Will Follow Edition

Yet another week passes as we watch the cope-hope reach maximum intensity through a form of frustrated and impotent rage. The narrative has failed; those who have staked their futures and wasted their pasts on the system find themselves both enraged and possessed of a furor to suppress those who step out of line. If this system fails, they will all feel as if they have made the wrong choices in life, so they are going to patch it up again to see if they can keep it kicking long enough to make it into the comforting sleep of Alzheimers or fentanyl.

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Poetry Submission: “Church-Burner”

They say you’ve born to the eternal kidness
and that was conceived by divine grace
that came to end with the perversion and evil
and died on the cross to humanity save

The perversion and evil only started after you came
because you were only a crazy liar
false saints were with you on your insanity
and the more stupids believed on you

Thieves and corrupts
now elited priests
they sell pieces
of cloth saying it was yours
the chief of insanity
now is reigning at rome
the perversion and evil
only started after you came

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Best Death Metal of 2021

As the socialized world of love and trust winds down in revealing its own incompetence and corruption, we turn toward the dead genres of underground metal, hailing the few who carry on a message no one understands for the sake of speaking clarity into the howling void of sense that is human activity.

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