Brown-Forman Corporation – Gentleman Jack

Every once in awhile us vile black metal badasses need to suit up. Maybe it’s to please a family member at a wedding, maybe it’s to respect the dead at a funeral, maybe it’s because the soul was sold to embrace the nihilistic corporate world once sworn against (ugh). Nevertheless, life in the first world necessitates this occasional cleaner cut image and perhaps this projection may even impress some strangers in open territory. But deep down underneath this fabrication lurks that sadistic primal savage that lusts for chaos, destruction, and pure fucking mayhem.

This is the nature of Gentleman Jack, the bourbon to justly satisfy the duality of man. Benefiting from an added layer of charcoal mellowing, the Gentleman Jack is a much improved form of its popular Jack Daniel’s No. 7 predecessor in all aspects. Unfortunately, this improved quality is reflected in its price, which is nearly double that of the No. 7 classic. Gentleman Jack is therefore not the ideal whiskey or even the ideal Jack Daniel’s for wild college parties, loud nightclubs, those light on cash or those who supplement their whiskey with soda or water. Instead, seek the Gentleman on the quieter, more intimate occasions of small gatherings, classier dinner/bar dates, a candlelit night beside an album high in replay value or a cherished blue movie under candlelight as former Death drummer Richard Christy is known to partake¬†on Friday nights.

I prefer to serve Gentleman Jack straight and, going against popular opinion, have always insisted on keeping it chilled before use. While it is indeed smooth and tasty for a whiskey it retains the vintage raw Jack Daniel’s edge. It’s a bit harsh when first hitting the throat but will venture down smoothly from there. The finish is a delicious caramel treat, but not to the candy-like extreme of it’s similarly priced Irish cousin Jameson Caskmates. This gives Gentleman the perfect balance of grit and grace that is unrivaled by any whiskey in its price range.

Alas, a due warning to those who dare to invoke The Gentleman: beware of his deception. The improved drinkability over Old Number 7 will lead to it going down faster and easier. This can quickly get you in trouble as it is Jack Daniel we’re dealing with and Jack is indeed a heavy hitter. Even other whiskeys consumed at a similar pace won’t cause the destruction of Gentleman Jack, so proceed with absolute caution. Much like a deceiving corporate handshake or a warm succubus smile, The Gentleman will make you feel at ease before it picks the flesh from your bones. Those already on bad terms with Mr. Daniel’s would be wise to avoid.

Many times while enjoying Gentleman Jack, I thought upon the legends and mystery surround Jack Daniel himself. Did the gangrene that killed him really come from kicking his safe, frustrated at forgetting the combination? If so, was he wasted off his own shit? Most importantly, though, I think of how he tamed the animal within well enough to find a vastness of success in his business dealings. But if the tall tales are true, it appears that the animal got the best of him in the end.

Quality: *****/*****
Purchase: **/*****

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10 thoughts on “Brown-Forman Corporation – Gentleman Jack

  1. GGALLIN1776 says:

    Never tried the gentleman but regular old no.7 is my go to, greatness in a bottle…only to be topped by Guinness draught. One thing I HATE is Jim Beam, I feel like I have a hangover from scent.

    I have a bottle of Schenley Reserve from the 50’s (sometime between 55-58 I believe) that I’m curious about. I was thinking of saving it for a special occasion like marriage, but you’d have to be a drunk paint huffer to get married in America these days. I’ve been trying to figure this out for nine years as this bottle continues to slowly age, old tax sticker still in place. In my younger years I wasted similar bottles (and many cutty sark’s / J&B) on parties and that was definitely a mistake.

    Any ideas? I don’t want to waste it on a unworthy occasion…or maybe I’ll just sell it for $150.

    1. I never recovered from Angra's split says:

      One option : drink it for your suicide when Clinton will finally organise her coup d’√©tat against Trump to save the US from “Russian influence”…

      1. >not understanding how a paradigm shift works

      2. GGALLIN1776 says:

        I’m the Victory or Valhalla type. Suicide for something that trivial is an impossibility for me (just like the event itself). End stage cancer, any disease that leaves you in unbearable pain? That’s a good reason.

  2. Exfoliation says:

    The name has always mad me think of 1900s oil tycoons and rich British twits going to a private club in a bar and they pull up to mini stalls at a bar and drink whiskey with cigars while a male butler Jack’s them off through little port holes with a tip cup on the side, they are then cleaned off and powdered, it is not seen as anything weird and men have to do it because women are bad at jobs. “Would the gentleman prefer a jack? “Yes please, and make it quick, I’ve a train to catch” “as the sir sees fit, I shall make with feverish haste”

    1. bleeeeeccchhhh says:

      he he he

  3. LordKrumb says:

    Regular draught Guinness is not a particularly good stout. Try a bottle of the superior Guinness Foreign Extra Stout or Samuel Smith’s Imperial Stout. I think both of these beers are available in the US.

    The flavour of whisky (and other spirits) does not age in the bottle. The ageing process stops when the whisky is poured out of its cask.

    1. LordKrumb says:

      Sorry, I meant to post as a reply to GGALLIN1776’s comment.

    2. GGALLIN1776 says:

      LK, just my taste in particular…that’s one thing that varies wildly between people. I love it, everything about it just feels perfect. I’ve never tried GFES (nor have I seen/heard of it until your mention). I’ve had the Samuel Smith’s, it was a while back but i’m pretty sure that I enjoyed it.

      Really? Never knew that. What’s the big fuss I hear over the old bottles, just better quality in those days? I think my Schenley is either 8 or 12 years prior to bottling. The bottle makes me think of 1950’s WW2 vet businessmen chain smoking & getting shitfaced after work in front of a 12″ B&W television after a steak dinner.

  4. Faggot88 says:

    Hahahaha. Fuck. I feel sorry for you. What a pathetic attempt to signify your imaginary good taste. This peon shit is fit only to be mixed with non-brand name cola.

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