God Jul, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Heri za Kwanzaa, and Happy Hannukah

At the end of the year, we celebrate that our fledgling species — we like to think of ourselves as apex, but really we are at the start of our evolutionary arc — made it through another year without doing too much damage to ourselves.

While most of humanity are loathsome lizard-brain meatsac “people” who cannot even score the minimum one hundred and fifteen points for person status on an intelligence quotient test, there are some very lovely humans among us worldwide and we are glad to have them.

Now back to your regularly-scheduled misanthropy, elitism, eugenics, deny Christ, inequality, Satan, and sodomy.

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68 thoughts on “God Jul, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Heri za Kwanzaa, and Happy Hannukah”

  1. curio says:

    Merry Fist’n’ass and Happy Hannukunt.

    1. Mr Schul says:

      I, for one, await the return of Arminass and his HGNS.

      1. That was the second-best movie ever made. The first was Airplane! of course.

        1. A Short History Of Doomsday says:

          Don’t forget The Thing, Hellraiser, and Alien.

          1. Or Prince of Darkness, probably the best of them all.

            1. John says:

              With “differential equations translated from Latin.”

    2. May the fisting never end.

      1. El Rape says:

        Especially the nonconsensual, necrophiliac, and sodomitic kinds.

        1. I wonder how much necrophilia we have, since the heavily regulated industry still seems completely out of control, with one funeral home a month getting busted for storing 200 bodies in an unventilated shed because they ran out of money to bury them.

  2. Satan's 666th Wife says:

    Thank you, Brett. Wishing you all the best for 2024 & every year after that ^^
    Thank you, too, for running this site & writing so much <3

    It makes me truly happy to know that my 130IQ will save me from the organ harvesting eco-cannibalism forced vaccination DNA modifying biofuel gas chambers. Your validation keeps me from hanging from myself.

    What do you imagine to be the summit of human life?
    Where will humanity be in another century? Are you a transhumanist botfucker like the rest?

    Can someone please sodomize me in Satan's name?
    XOXOXOX

    1. El Senor Fagotti says:

      2023 was a new low for metal. Everything sounds like a Metheny-Helmet-Korn crossover now.

      1. In other words, they averaged the last century of popular music? Jazz fusion is not jazz; it is jazz plus rock plus big band and crooners. Jazz is not even jazz; it is European standards with chaotic riffing that some graduate school music nerds made into a big deal. Rock is not even rock; it is European folk music with polka and waltz percussion. European folk music is a shadow of itself; once the lyrics, modes, rhythms, and song structures followed patterns like opera, but then it got dumbed down by the dualists and egalitarians as usual.

    2. You too, and thank you for reading.

      The summit of human life? Yet to come.

      Humanity in another century? Ideally, 800 AD + future technology.

      Transhumanist? I am a eugenicist; I suggest we breed better people not engineer them. However, here is my Satanic warning: if technology exists to edit genes and prolong life or increase ability, it will be used, and no laws or religion will stop that.

      1. T Malm says:

        Obviously you’re right about technology (see the widespread use of performance enhancing drugs in sports), but I wonder what the functional difference between the better “naturals” and those with “enhanced genetics” will be. I’m thinking insanity as we edge towards the Warhammer 40k dark ages.

        It really doesn’t seem like sanity will prevail before we see techno-pokalips.

        1. What is a real technopocalypse? From recent news: (a) some terrorist engineers a pandemic or (b) some boffin engineers a vaccine that ends up killing a lot of people.

          Otherwise, what would it mean if “enhanced genetics” were available? Answer: we already see it at the Olympics; the more performance-enhancing drugs, doping, specialty training, etc. are used the less normal people care. The Olympics used to be a big deal and people would camp out at the television to check them out. Now I hear no one talking about them even in years when they are on.

          The real problem is that genetically modifying an organism after its original creation is not as seamless as Hollywood would have you believe. This will inevitably have some bad consequences. If we beat that, then use your economics… when enhancements are widely available, many people will be enhanced, but this will reduce any particular advantage.

          Outside of athletics, anyway, this is not going to be a big issue. Do we need enhanced soldiers? They fight hand-to-hand very rarely, so no. What about higher IQs? Higher IQ people tend to stay the hell away from the profitable stuff; business wants people just below 125 so they are capable but not too aware. What about higher sanity? This would create jihadist-crusaders against narcissism.

          IMHO spotes are going away anyway; the people still clinging are whitish cucks who want to believe everything is okay so they go hang out for rituals from a culture long dead. At some point Homeland Security will contain so many diversity hires, incels, women, Christians, and nepo babies that ISIS will be able to blow up a stadium or two and nothing will change except that the TPS reports will be late.

          1. T Malm says:

            I’m thinking of a more significant increase in intelligence and functionality that becomes widely available beyond conventional regulatory bodies’ ability to control its spread due to the potential benefits of said tech outweighing the “bad consequences”.

            This would require a spike, rather than the steady increase we’ve been seeing, but the possibilities are interesting.

            1. The spike is going to be the workable technology. CRISP-9 is not there yet. I suggest to regulators that they regulate this at their peril. Unenforceable laws weaken the law, and even globalism is not going to stop laboratories from cropping up in the third world just like you can go to Mexico for dubious plastic surgery at half-price.

              1. Plague 3.0 says:

                I wonder if biolabs will become the new abortion clinics for domestic terrorists.

                1. In my experience, terrorists hit soft targets. Biolabs have money. At this point, the abortion fight is over because it has been kicked back to the states, which means that the people who really hate abortion are going to move to anti-abortion states, but my read on it is that 70% of America thinks it’s okay-fine-whatever to have legal abortion, and 40% of America goes into a panic rage if they cannot schedule an abortion 24-7-365 using an iOS app.

  3. vvoices carry says:

    if u dont listen to old hardcore idk what to tell u man foad

    1. Xeriscaping Humanity says:

      That’s like 5 good bands and 50000 hipsters

      1. real fantasy says:

        don’t

      2. From old hardcore, there were a lot of pretty-good-okay-i-guess bands, but then your real standouts like Amebix, Cro-Mags, Discharge, Exploited, Black Flag, and Agnostic Front. I do not mind the early Minor Threat material but they introduced the sing-song shit that became emo so I think they should be designated wiggers and exiled to Venezuela solely on a categorical basis.

        1. Shrugs shoulders says:

          I usually think in terms of albums instead of bands since pretty much every band sucks after a while but a bunch of great stuff comes to mind immediately with the adolescents, circle jerks, bad brains, descendents, deep wound, crucifux, big boys, dicks, minutemen, and then reaching a little beyond hardcore with early plasmatics, mentors, the germs, butthole surfers, the cramps, idk man the list goes on and I love metal and everything but if you don’t dig punk then you don’t dig punk and if anyone thinks that makes them more perceptive or whatever then they should probably get off the internet and go fuck themselves

          1. It makes sense to think of albums instead of bands, but most of the stuff you are mentioning is just punk, not hardcore. I like the Bad Brains and appreciate the Circle Jerks, but at the end of the day, this stuff is not removed enough from rock/pop for me to listen to it much.

            1. Funky Headbanger says:

              Different strokes for indifferent folk

              1. A hierarchy among humans as in nature.

                People in Cannibal Corpse shirts pick the turnips and cotton.

        2. Passenger In Your Mom's Pooper says:

          you forgot GBH you fucking potato lover

          1. A reasonable inclusion.

          2. The Poetic Shredda says:

            sometimes psychic warfare gets in the way of my meticulously crafted dmu comments

            1. Journey To The Center of Your Mom's Digestive Tract says:

              It is important to remember that at death, you are the sum total of your comments on the internet. Good deeds count for nothing.

              1. Am Calvinist, but believe good deeds condition the mind toward sanity.

              2. Death Anticipation says:

                Looks like I’m going places.

  4. Guenonian says:

    >Now back to your regularly-scheduled misanthropy, elitism, eugenics, deny Christ, inequality, Satan, and sodomy.
    I’m just here for the tobacco stuff at this point

    1. And the album of the year goes to says:

      Why listen to tobacco when you can listen to your wife?

      1. Boomerhumor says:

        Dad joke of the year.

    2. Edmund Kemper says:

      Can we get something useful like cigs vape or cigars? Only oldfags poke a smipe.

      1. If we get some writers who smoke cigs or “vape” (ugh) then sure. I would smoke more cigars but they are an epic time commitment to hanging out in areas where I can smoke them, and since each one is a couple ounces of tobacco, they generate an absolute ton of side-smoke which is not really great. The pipe is optimized: stuff to fiddle with, fire, slow, little side-smoke, smells OK if you do not smoke any of the real deep Englishes.

  5. Hey wasps

    Can you please kill the following assholes

    Korn
    Limp Bizkit
    Icp
    Cypress hill
    Necro
    cumspill bill
    Kid rock
    Metallica
    Ja rule
    Busta rhymes
    Boondox
    Abk
    Kittie
    Kelly Clarkson’s smelly twat
    Deathcore
    Mallcore
    Emo
    Kottonmouth kings
    Macklemore
    G eazy
    Halsey
    Britney spears
    Mixed Germans
    Jews
    Fags

    Hey Brett how do we crush these faggots little shemale turds?

    1. I think we should refer to Kittie/Dethklok as the same entity because they appeal to the same group: Redditors.

      1. Glenn says:

        Had to look up Kittie and holy shoahly that’s one hell of a chin.

        1. Always high mute load or admixture on these dodgy projects.

          1. Mute(reload) says:

            They look like regular lesbians and no I haven’t heard it.

  6. Homesar the Christ says:

    Please spare us these antiquated rituals. We are enlightened now.

    * tips fedora *

    1. Suck my dick spicy

      The following races must die in a holocaust

      Mexicans stink
      Jews stink
      Italy stinks
      Irish stink
      Homesar the Christ sucks dick
      Roaches suck dick
      Jewish rappers suck dick
      Matthew McConaughey stinks
      Necro stinks
      Olivia Rodrigo stinks
      White people stink
      Latinos stink

      I’m gonna find u and kill you bitch beaner fuck die die die die die die die die die beaner bitch…

      More Japan and korea less stenchxicans or beaners or Jews or italy hashtag fuck you…

      1. No point worrying about the homosexuals when we know the true problem, low-T metrosexuals a.k.a. Redditors.

        I am glad to see that you mention the Fenian Question. They rule us, they rule by deception, and they must be removed by any means necessary.

        1. Maybe we should call them by their true name: wigsters.

        2. Linda says:

          I hate Reddit. It’s literal cancer and place for commie liberal scumbags to congregate in a masturbatory cesspool on anti-Trump rhetoric and self-loathing. I wish someone would bomb Reddit and YouTube headquarters. The bias and the censorship is why Reddit employees deserve the guillotine or Colombian neckties. Their choice of which.

          1. free death says:

            youtube lets me listen to whatever music i want and reddit helped me fix my engine, youre probably just confused

            1. The software at Reddit is the best of all social media. Unfortunately, it allows downvoting, which attracts low self-confidence people on a mission of revenge.

              YouTube is great unless you want to use the link again. The internet is littered with broken YouTube backlinks because YouTube allows complaints to remove videos without proof, so if you have a competitor… yep you get all your cousins to report his videos, then steal them for yourself. This is why most content on YouTube is reposted and most backlinks are broken.

              1. Shakesbeer says:

                reddit is like any other popular conglomeration, a few standouts with a lot of boring shit and then some stuff that makes you wanna puke which no one is making you deal with anyway and if you think that they are then you’re a little bitch. i rarely run into problems with youtube links because i usually am just listening to an album from a bands’ channel and in any case, typing a few words to find another one isn’t hard. but one ought to hoard FLACs anyway.

                1. hoard FLACs anyway

                  Hoard physical releases if you can.

                  reddit is like any other popular conglomeration

                  In my view, no, it is worse. The downvote button attracts revengeful weaklings.

                  Proof: the same is true of Lemmy (open source Reddit clone).

                  1. DOWNVOTE THIS YOU WEAKLINGS says:

                    alright alright so somebody downvoted your interracial gay irish fantasy fiction on reddit we get it

                    1. interracial gay irish fantasy fiction

                      You mean the Biden Administration?

                  2. Underground Police says:

                    Hoarding? That’s some hobbyist funko pop dildo collector mentality right there.
                    Only hoarding limited edition pink vinyl is true!

                    1. I suggest that if you see something good, you buy it because otherwise you have no control over having it again. Own physical albums. Any siblings or children you hock can be repurchased in only slightly used and dripping state.

          2. The tragedy of the internet parallels that of college: when it was new, college was for smart WASPs for the most part, so the people on the internet were intelligent and thoughtful.

            Then we democratized it, and now the average internet user is someone living in a box clutching a $1.4k iPhone and venting their rage at the world. As you note, most of Reddit’s audience are people motivated by revenge and feelings of inferiority as Uncle Ted would say.

            While I am not anti-transsexual, widespread transsexualism is a trend and fad, not a legitimate medical solution, but it attracts these losers like moths to porch lights in the same way that liberalism does. It gives them power and they want that more than anything else, but if they were honest, would just admit that they are serfs and their highest use is picking the turnips.

            The problem with Reddit, and the broader internet, is that it gives power to these people. That is about to change because everything Silicon Valley has done since 1996 or so seems to be cratering simultaneously thanks to the same democratized audience and the people who wrangle them.

    2. Please share a link to your Discord so we can ignore it.

  7. Question says:

    Hey Brett what are the things that make music good in your opinion and does it depend on the genre

    1. Warkvlt is High IQ Music says:

      Well obviously what makes music good is a cool album cover, nice halloween costumes that you wear all year, a good relationship with the frags at Pitchfork & Metalscks (PR power), and doing a lot of interviews where you give your opinion on edgy topics like climate change and the need to support Ukraine and Israel. Also cool song titles lifted from bible verses, or random nonsense in latin. And mention Satan a few million times. Always. Even when you tour in Japan which has a Christian populace of like 0.006% and they think Satan is the guy from DBZ and Jesus is one of their imported Brazilian sports player. So they don’t really “get” how the two could have intercourse (which is explicitly displayed on the album cover, or at least the liner notes) and think you retarded but you still gotta stay edgy and own the Christians (all fourteen of them).

      Then you just ChatGPT the riffs and record everything with Audacity, your phone, ezdrummer, etc… I don’t really bother with the “sound stuff” as it is kinda irrelevant to my vision of what music is. But it’s always cool to add an unexpected instrument (bonus points if it’s woke) in a genre that never used it before. Tuba in death metal, triangle in EDM, Boss HM-2 distortion in funk, talent in Swedish black metal. Music, to me, is about the image. The pose. Posing. Wait that came out wrong.

      Anyway, I’m totally not Erik from Watain or one of the Deafheaven dudes. I’m like somebody else. Just your average internet poster.

      also plz buy “the agony & ecstasy of watain” and the rest of our albums (limited edition boxset) my nonbinary gf has 31 tumours and was abducted by HAMAS Russian terrorists gotta put food on the plate kthxbye

      1. kamikaze 69 says:

        wow thats really interesting, now im going to go and never think about any of this stuff again

        1. This is how I feel about most religion and politics at this point. Religion: agnosticism is neutral, sane money bets on the gods; politics: realism works, everything else is neurosis from people with high mute load (with a carveout for the young, who are just inexperienced).

          1. Boomhauer says:

            Mmhmm

            1. I, too, believe in meditative apathy.

      2. This pretty much nails it. I like “frags.” I have been calling them metrosexuals because to these people, sexuality exists only to preen the ego.

    2. Good question. Music is like anything else: it has utility. Kirk Hammett had a great riff on this recently, but basically music has to transport you from one state to another, so that you are ready to face life again with new energy and flexibility of mind. To do that, it has to sound like something in life but stage it in such a way that it is not recognizable as the humdrum, and then using inner conflict, pick that apart and find a new take on it. On top of that, it has to be tuneful (melody, balance, proportion, harmony) and memorable (distinctive, hook-ish, catchy rhythms). Same rules for Mozart or Cianide, and well done by both.

  8. Thrash is better than Black or Death says:

    Dr.Know-Wreckage in Flesh

    Loudness-Hurricane Eyes

    Torture- Storm Alert

    Kyuss-Sky Valley

    These are the albums that I will build my church.

    1. These favor the “rock” side of things. Throw in some King Crimson and Havohej.

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