On Goatcraft


Lonegoat of necroclassical band Goatcraft issued the following statement today on, of all topics, Death Metal Underground itself. Read on for some clarification of the oddities of Goatcraft coverage for the past year or so, and the “no Goatcraft rule” implemented some time ago.

Brett Stevens is a controversial man. He’s made more armchair activists angry than anyone else on the internet. Founding the legendary Dark Legions Archive, as well as many other groups/websites/etc, his reviews were unmatched and were of the highest linguistic artistry. He created worlds in his reviews that paralleled the musical subjects better than anyone else who ever wrote about metal.

He’s been around since the nascent stage of the internet to this now populace, SJW Tumblr Tranny modern wankery that resembles dumpster diving more than anything else. It’s only suiting that he swapped to writing movie reviews.

For a while I aided Brett by helping out behind the scenes at Deathmetal.org. I wouldn’t really consider it “helping” as I’ve never been a writer nor cared to be one. Usually my contributions were drunken and juvenile. It was what it was.

In return for my contributions, Brett hosted this domain while I was in between jobs and had no spare money to pay for it. About a month after that we had a falling out over a mutual acquaintance and our stances regarding this person. Goatcraft.net was then nuked. Most of the Goatcraft material was pulled from Deathmetal.org at my request. There’s now a No-Goatcraft rule implemented at Deathmetal.org because of all of this.

About 8 months later Brett gave me the Goatcraft.net domain back.

I’m indifferent to what Deathmetal.org is nowadays. There are some good articles like the recent Abominations of Desolation controversy article, although he should’ve been more specific in the article instead of hiding its intent through multiple layers.

This should clear up any confusion regarding the friction between Deathmetal.org and Goatcraft.

Consider it a generous statement and a fair one, and wonder no more why our Goatcraft reviews went away. It is what it is.

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32 thoughts on “On Goatcraft”

  1. Blorp says:


    1. Richard Head says:

      Newfag detected.

    2. prol says:

      it iz wat is iz

      1. Robert says:

        it iz wut it beez!

        1. Lone Star of the Goat says:

          Wut wut.
          fap fap fap.
          brett and i had like a lot of friction.

  2. Ibexmetal says:

    I am a rather staunch fan of goat piano. With that said I can concur that Goatcraft makes my pee pee hard. If I had a vagina it would be quite moist. It is supreme goat metal piano supreme. Hail the master race.

    1. The Real Slim Shady says:

      The guy that makes all Asian game soundtracks meets Ludovico Einaudi. I’d rather listen to either of those kitsch peddlers, go figure.

  3. Charles says:

    The music was always repetitive and his ego is the size of Jupiter.

    1. Alfonso Chewbacca says:

      ego schmego smeagol

  4. Murph says:

    There’s too many dadaladadalaDUNDUNDUN’s in Goatcraft. He should try more tweeeeetweedleleeDEEDeedee’s.

    1. Lonescrot from Goatshaft says:

      Ogden Ziegen – Irishmen in the Potato Field: http://youtu.be/zL4H6ggvZZ4dle


  5. homosexual man says:

    im gay

    1. Thunder Pants says:

      Hello cutie.

      I see you!

      So, do you like power metal or are you into Alcest and Krallice? Maybe we could get together and explore the intelectual side of metal, say like Opeth.

  6. gaybar says:

    Moronic egodrama, thanks for sharing.

  7. Doug Killjoy says:

    …on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen

  8. Chris says:

    Brett, do you actually enjoy the music of Groatcraft? your original articles spoke most favourably of this (then upcoming) project (and such to the extent that it brought it much warrented attention to myself and I’m sure many others in this somewhat wastefiled of a modern scene). Those select few, may I remind you, existing almost infinismally between as a scene between the nascent genres of metal and neoclassical in our current era; Goatcraft is undoubtedly important.

    Obviously you saw Goatcraft did have the spirit and potential. We all all know you’re not dumb enough not to still see this! So are personal gripes really enough to get in the way of at least reviewing this most interesting and worthy of projects?? If it’s no longer personal, at least, then really it’s your duty as a writter/reviewer/career metalhead.

    1. Translates to: schadenfreude for all!

    2. Richard Head says:

      You must have missed the part where Goatcraft is actually really boring.

      1. Ara says:

        But they have metal imagery and song titles so the spirit is correct and therefore he can’t lose!
        Symphony of the Night soundtrack>Goatcraft

        1. Richard Head says:

          Yeah but SOTN > most modern music anyway.

          1. Sven says:

            well thar yo’ll have it, metal anno 2015 is a handful of mutually narcisistic friends which can relate to each otherz headspace (well FUCK YOU cunt!) mostly through having mutually grown up on videogames and without proper father-figures

            1. Richard Head says:

              Somebody is mad that their parents couldn’t afford video games for him.

            2. You`re all very gay says:

              does this also include mutual masturbation?

              1. Sven says:

                I’m so manly and angry that even Hulk Hogan seemed like a faggot compared to me when we shared a couple drinks last month down in Idaho. But no I didn’t grow up on video game shit or nerd culture and yes you are pretty much all degenerates and a betas if readily engaging in masturbation (pretty obvious really). The phenomena might explain metal’s decline quite well in all honesty but I also don’t follow the nerd-code of life so if some lame cunt produces a paper on it proving me right or wrong I still prolly wouldn’t care. On a side note, man I got some fuckin intense shit going down in my life right now… shit…

              2. Mutually, you men share a common trait know in old times as cowardice. The strong man is strongest when alone. He relies not on group-think and he is never one of the hungry dog-pack lusting and leering over some rotten piece of ass.

    3. Alf says:

      That was my overall impression too, to be honest, though there are undoubtedly some shine-through moments of brilliance. Just wish the albums could condense these elements and refine the overall song-writing process a bit.

      1. Oh yeah? well do keep an ear out for his new stuff which is shaping up to be something really special, and dare I say a vast improvement in those very areas mentioned.

  9. Chris says:

    Sorry dudettes but I was really keen to hear what Brett actually had to say about all this. Supposing Burzum or Graveland didn’t want their stuff touched by this site as it is not in keeping with racialist politics or whatever, are we really going to honour such stupid requests? Music should stand as music and there is evidently some non-music related censorship type crap getting in the way of that happening which is really sad.

  10. Sven says:

    Oh and by the way did I ever mention about the track “Vestibule to the Abyss” – it’s one of the earlier tracks but holy shit does it have that dark force of warped melancholia for which I long. First time I heard it I was actually reduced to tears in a weird way. And being of the stoic vitamin-D deprived old norse stock I’m very much not one to show emotion. Of course later on that night I punched on with some cunt down at the club. lol Go figure

    1. Richard Head says:

      You should write a novel, dude.

    2. I knew who you were are right off the bat

      Come back around for madchats and dicpics

      You’re better than most, even though you don’t realize it

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