Antestor Re-Release of Return of the Black Death Out Today!

Fuck yes!  Legendary Norwegian black metal band Antestor have re-released their timeless classic Return of the Black Death via the Nordic Mission label.  If you’re too much of a sodomite pussy to know, this album was the best release (and probably only good one) on the famed Cacophonous Records, who gave us the earliest works of Cradle of Filth and Dimmu Borgir- those fucking scumbags!  This album was also the precursor to the depressive/suicidal black metal genre that immediately became gay when Xasthur first put on his little makeup kit and started doing blek majick.  Yeah, I bet you thought Sortsind and Burzum started that shit-NOPE!  It was all a second rate ripoff of Antestor’s sorrow metal!

Reverting to its intended title of Kongsblod (before the useless Cacophonous Records shat all over it), today marks the first time this fine metallic work will be available on vinyl.  It’s also the first time we’re getting it in it’s truest form, with the correct artwork and presentation.  Ultimately, it’s the grandest defiance of one of the worst record labels in all of black metal history  (Cacophonous) who pissed all over the bands original vision because the label owners were these fat disgusting D&D rejects who thought their little wizard characters were real.

The story of Kongsblod/Return of the Black Death goes as follows… Antestor, one of Norway’s original (good) extreme metal bands, spent a shitload of time and money recording a full length demo that would hopefully land them a record deal.  It did, but instead of sending them a budget to record a higher quality recording, Cacophonous decided to release the demo as a full length album.  The contract was signed, but when the band sent the artwork and lyrics, the label owners panicked- for they saw something that terrified them like nothing before.  And they knew doom and poverty would soon annihilate their flesh and souls…

You see, Cacophonous were occult sodomite virgins that thought their black magick was going to make them the rulers of the world.  But when they saw Antestor’s lyrics, they were struck with a shocking and unforeseen reality- ANTESTOR ARE FUCKING CHRISTIAN!  And so it was, that the label were legally bound to releasing a Christian black metal album.

At the mercy of the same lord they abandoned to pursue a meaningless life of poverty and despair, the founders of Carcophonous decided to conceal the Christianity of Antestor.  They changed the album title to Return of the Black Death, got some cheap 2D cartoon artwork, and censored all of the lyrics.  This censorship was because the lyrics were filled with DANGEROUS things that ABSOLUTELY TERRIFIED them: words like JESUS and LORD.  So this black metal label that acted like they were so tough and badass were reduced to a fetal possession at the horribly offensive possibility that Christians made better black metal than the shit bands on their roster.

The rest was history.  Antestor went on to become the most popular unblack metal band in the world, and Cacophonous records became bankrupt and homeless.  The judgment of the lord was especially harsh on founder Neil Harding (who went by the very gay name of Frater Nihil), who was recently seen on a street corner of London eating bagels picked out of a bag of garbage that a dog had urinated on.  Hey Neil- you’re a homeless toothless fuck and if I ever see you out here in the U.K. I’m going to beat the living fuck out of you until you piss your shit-stained pants again!  Your war on Christianity failed, and if my crucifix doesn’t get ya you’re gonna get knifed by the religion of peace, you son of a bitch!

All and all, Antestor are BASED Templar metal- some of the fucking best- and this release is fucking sick.  This is the kind of shit I’m going to listen to on the next crusade, when I start shoving axes into the skulls and genitals of lefty soyboy hipsters that ruined metal.  Buy it or you’re a pussy AND a faggot!  DEUS VULT, HERETIC SCUM!!!

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25 thoughts on “Antestor Re-Release of Return of the Black Death Out Today!”

  1. I ask you brett how can I mix with a zuleikha/hawaiian looking woman and at the same time raise this seed (as I seek these traits as it is kinda gross to make an oprah) with the smarts as someone like u? (Yall my bretts anyway) I do not like my tribe and my family hates me so they sent me to a white part of town. Is it possible for a mulatto to have Plato/brett like brilliance and is it an abomination that I feel this way even though I cannot compel myself to lay with my “chunky” tribe even if I find it sick?

    Should I force myself to “get down” and chill like the rest of the brothas?

  2. hell awaits says:

    I find this article personally amusing because I grew up in a strict Catholic household, and I was forbidden from listening to secular music unless it was Classical. My mom was extremely serious about this, and even went as far as to throw out all my dad’s rock albums (like Allman Bros, Skynard, Santana) while he was away fighting the Gulf War for fear that the music contained satanic messages. Around the age of 12, I started to develop this unfortunate need for heavier music. I used to have to rock out to Holst’s “Mars, the Bringer of War” from my “Heavy Classix” album to get my fix before CD burners fell in price. Then, I would buy those big stacks of blank CDs from CompUSA and try to get burnt copies of any “heavy” garbage from friends that I could get my hands on before I knew better. One of my friends eventually burnt me a copy of a Cradle of Filth album… but had Cacophonous not been major cocksuckers, maybe my first foray into (things resembling) black metal could have been from Antestor instead…

    Now that 20+ years have passed by, I truly see what a sin listening to Cradle of Filth was. Not because I broke the Fourth Commandment by disobeying my mother, but because their music is so awful. I can only imagine what the punishment for this sin is around here (may the Tranny Rapist have mercy on my hole), and so I feel that I need to repent and ask dmu for forgiveness. Now that you’ve heard my confession, I will recite the Act of Contrition the way that I was taught (with some amendments in parenthesis):

    Oh my God (, I am sorry for my sins, in choosing to sin and failing to do good. I have sinned against You and Your Church (Templars/Hessians), and I firmly intend with the help of Your Son (Brett Stevens) to make up for my sins and love as I should. Amen (Deus Vult).

  3. Necronomeconomist says:

    Robert de Sandford writes exactly like Cock Dorsey.
    Same guy?

    This new Christian/Templars discourse on DMU is tripping me out. It’s retarded, but kind of genius in relation to the Alt-Right culture wars y’all are waging. This article possibly betrays that discourse as an elaborate hoax (or as “trolling” as I would say if I used gay-ass words I read on the Internet).

    “you’re gonna get knifed by the religion of peace”

    The song sounds like Sacramentum covering Midnight Odyssey, plus a flute and some Renn Faire status.

    “Praying for a dying religion.
    The lord will bless us…
    Misfortune of God.
    The throne is lost.
    Christ’s fate.
    Was a lie…”
    -Incantation “Deliverance of Horrific Prophecies” ONWARD 2 GOLGOTHA

    1. Rainer Weikusat says:

      The writing style is different, especially the negative by-association marketing: If you aren’t associated with this you belong to the “other people” group which is the detestably wrong one.


      This (the music) describes itself as “depressive sorrow metal”. Doom with ‘medievial folk’ imitation gimmicks and Graveland vocals. I have little doubt that the bandmembers ARE FUCKING CHRISTIANS all the time. That’s – after all – how these folks reproduce and the golden calf they’re dancing around because that’s something they can see.


      [Absurd is extremely mixed but that’s one of the better tracks I found so far]

      1. Rainer Weikusat says:

        The only English translation on the web I found is completely atrocious, so, here’s one I quickly did myself (probably a veritable rape of the language)

        We are Wotan’s black company
        Heia Heia Ho
        And brawling with tyrants desire we
        Heia Heia Ho Ho Ho

        Lower the pikes!
        The roof of the cloister’s alight!
        Lower the pikes
        Set the churchroof alight!

        The wild hunter leads our pack
        Heia Heia Ho
        The sunwheel flies on our flag
        Heia Heia Ho Ho Ho


        A stink at the gate of the church, ablaze!
        Heia Heia Ho
        Many a man dies on our blades
        Heia Heia Ho Ho Ho


        Oh Father Thor it’s you who we praise
        Heia Heia Ho
        And To you our Germanic fight dedicate
        Heia Heia Ho Ho Ho


        In the moonlight give us victory
        Heia Heia Ho
        Bloodlust, rage, annihilate the enemy
        Heia Heia Ho Ho Ho


        If we’re routed and must take to flight
        Heia Heia Ho
        Our Grandchildren’s day will see better light
        Heia Heia Ho Ho Ho

        This is obviously “quick and dirty” (and quite free at time) and much of the atmosphere is untranslatable.

        1. Jerry Hauppa says:

          Thank god you found the time to respond to yourself with a translation no one asked for regarding a completely unrelated subject.
          What are your hobbies?

          1. Rainer Weikusat says:

            Why do you keep writing these “I don’t get it!” messages? By now, that’s hardly news anymore.

            The original lyrics are in German, the track relates to the combatative ‘Christianness’ of the article in way which couldn’t be more obvious (one would think) but most people here probably don’t understand German. Apart from that, the translation is of a certain value in itself as no even remotely adequate other one exists, at least for people who might be interested in this kind of music, something no one would accuse you of.

            1. Jerry Hauppa says:

              You think I can’t get down with some Absurd, bro?
              THINK AGAIN

              1. Brock Dorsey says:


              2. Flying Kites says:

                Rainer listens to Absurd?! We better write a letter informing his Schultz.

                1. Rainer Weikusat says:

                  I listen to everyone who thinks he has something to say provided I’m not obliged to have a public opinion in it.

              3. Rainer Weikusat says:

                I think you’re a penis shaped non-entity with a pea-sized brain someone forgot to put in, the mouth of a good-sized farm gate and a self-overestimation which makes Donald Trump look like a modest fellow.

                Insofar you care for anything but venting how important you are, that got lost in the venting.

                I realize that Absurd is not only a band but also a great opportunity to demonstrate ‘edginess’. That’s why you’re pissed off if someone else “seems to use it” just like you’d like to do.

                However, nobody did.

  4. T. Desecration says:

    Rip the sacred flesh
    Sodomize the holy asshole
    Drink the red blood of the mother of earth
    Masturbation on the dead body of christ
    The king of Jews is dead
    and so are the lies
    Vomit on the host of Heaven
    Masturbate on the throne of God
    Break the seals of angels
    Drink the sweet blood of Christ
    Taste the flesh of the priest
    Sodomize holy nuns
    The king of Jews is a liar
    The Heavens will burn
    Dethrone the son of God
    God is dead
    Holyness is gone
    Purity is gone
    Prayers are burned
    Covered in black shit
    Rape the holy ghost
    Unclean birth of Jesus Christ
    Heaven will fall
    Fuck the church
    Fuck Christ
    Fuck the Virgin
    Fuck the gods of Heaven
    Fuck the name of Jesus
    Also Fuck my asshole with a large errect phallus

    1. evil faggot says:

      *plays with hair, blushing under corpsepaint* …and priest cocks!

  5. As dookie rains from the sky... says:


  6. NWN War Metal Tranny Rapist says:

    This is shemale music!

  7. Jiub says:

    lol I hope this was sarcastic
    Also Cacophonous were scumbags but they put out a lot of good stuff like Sigh and Bal-Sagoth

  8. Autism, the website says:

    More MOre MORe MORE!!!


    I like ya’ll better when you were high-brow. Now you done gone populist because there is a populist right-wing movement afoot. But it’s still populist. It’s still infected with the stench of the crowd: just this time it’s the right-wing crowd.

    Go back to Nietzsche, Beethoven, Emerson, Goethe pls.

    Are others note amused by the embrace of populism from the formerly elitist DLA?

    1. T. Desecration says:


  9. Catholic Tranny Dying of AIDS says:

    Why are Christfags so edgy?

  10. Son of Brock says:

    Hey Templars, please review JACOBS DREAM, it is great Templar heavy metal.

    Sadly overlooked even by Templars on this site.


  11. Schlomo Goldsteinmeyer says:

    Stop trying to be edgy and controversial with all this Christian shit, it’s about as genuine as the Johnny Rotten swastika.

  12. Falsehammer says:

    Ever take a shit but a little piece of it gets stuck on your asshole lips, then makes your ass gooey when you wipe it? This post is that.

  13. Marc Defranco says:

    There are some good songs in this but as a whole it does not really stand the test of time

  14. Bill Baker says:

    I went through a born againer eveangelical Christian phase between my mid-late teens till age 25{I’m 39 now}, during that period I listened exclusively to Christian metal bands{mostly thrash, death, and black(or unblack as some call it)}- I spent age 10-to mid late teens as just a fan of regular extreme metal bands then did the boran againer stint till 2004. Duriong that time I had this album{amongst many oher “Christian” black metal, death,thrash,etc bands/albums} and it was one of my favorites. Allmost 15 yuears now since my apostasy and abandonment of revealed religion/theism, Deist{PanDeist} now since then, and I’d still say that this is one of the best black metal albums I ever owned or heard. Have’nt had it since 2004, but I hope to get it again at some point, cause while 99.9% of my musc collection is regular metal{especially extreme metal}- mostly the shit I grew up from age 10-17 or 18, I have managed to find and buy a few of the Christian metal albums I had way back then since, such as Mortifications “scrolls of the megilloth”, Living Sacrifices “Inhabit”, a couple of Tourniquets albums, Crimson Thorns “dissection”, that’s about it, I have been wanting to get my hands on an affordable copy of this Antestor album again, Thanks for the article on it.
    I also highly recommend these black(unblack; Christian black metal} bands/albums:
    Sorrowstorm- “caverns of grief”
    Slechtvalk- “War that plagues the lands”
    Crimson Moonlight= “Eternal emperor” EP and “The covenant progress”
    Horde- Hellig Usvart”
    Drottnar- “spiritual battle” and the “Anamorphosis”
    Lengsel- “Solace”
    Sanctifica- “spirit of purity”
    Frost Like Ashes- “pure as the blood covered snow” and “tophet”
    Armageddon Holocaust- “Into total destruction”
    Kekal _’beyond the glimpse of dreams”
    {These last two are good, if you can get past the drum machine}
    actually ANYTHING from ANY of these bands is pretty good

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