The tantalizingly-named Blasphemy Day International is basically a thinly-veiled excuse to troll Muslims who were offended by cartoon caricatures of the Prophet Mohammed (PBUH); if you ask me, it’s kind of a shitty passive-aggressive way of going about this.
However, it’s also a good excuse for blasphemy, and we need more of that.
The holiday is on September 30. This year, why not:
I. Increase the Traditional Blasphemy
II. Force People to Accept the Genius of Paul Ledney
Not enough people know the sacred words:
Rip the sacred flesh
Sodomize the holy asshole
Drink the red blood of the mother of earth
Masturbation on the dead body of christ
The king of Jews is dead
and so are the lies
Vomit on the host of Heaven
Masturbate on the throne of God
Break the seals of angels
Drink the sweet blood of Christ
Taste the flesh of the priest
Sodomize holy nuns
The king of Jews is a liar
The Heavens will burn
Dethrone the son of God
God is dead
Holyness is gone
Purity is gone
Prayers are burned
Covered in black shit
Rape the holy ghost
Unclean birth of Jesus Christ
Heaven will fall
Fuck the church
Fuck the Virgin
Fuck the gods of Heaven
Fuck the name of Jesus
III. Extend this humanism, the secular form of populist religion
If we can blaspheme Islam and Christianity for being ignorant, how about humanism?
Humanism is the idea that humans are more important than reality, and that they’re all equal, and that their feelings matter.
The fact is that most humans are shitheads, and we want to celebrate the few good ones.
Spread this blasphemy:
- Use the R-word. Mock the retarded, kick cripples out of wheelchairs, rape the cowering, sodomize the meek, etc.
- Make fun of stupidity. It’s not polite to do this. Blaspheme! Do it.
- Mention overpopulation. People hate to hear about this. There’s too many of us, and not everyone can be special!
- Mock TMPR. Too Much Positive Reinforcement (TMPR) is “the belief, against all available evidence, that one is meant for Special Things.”
People hate it when you rape sacred cows, then cut their heads off and make them into burgers. Do it. With extra ketchup.