Stentorian – Gentle Push to Paradise
The best comparison I can make with this is Sentenced’s “North From Here” hybridized with Malevolent Creation. It’s big, dumb heavy metal riffs and some guitar noodling that goes nowhere, so much so that you forget you’re listening to something and it’s not a flaky engine idling in the background.
Sulphur – Cursed Madness
We want to be Immolation, but we want black metal cliche too. Yet life goes on, far away from the speakers and, …what was I saying? Oh, don’t buy this CD.
Troglodytic – Promo 2004
Hi, we’ve collected a ton of cliches and roped them together with Garage Band. Worse than shit, because at least you can plant shit in your backyard and grow flowers. This CD made me want to kill myself… but I threw it away instead.
Utgard – Thrones and Dominions
Dark Funeral and Watain are sitting on a bus while Darkthrone’s “Transilvanian Hunger” is playing, and it runs into the back of a garbage truck. Nice speed, good aesthetic, good mastery of Darkthrone through “Total Death,” but end result is totally pointless. What’s wrong with listening to the original albums that do this better?
Walknut – Graveforests and Their Shadows
Why does all of this stuff sound the same? Drudkh, Nokturnal Mortum and every NSBM band from eastern europe do this slow melody of three or four notes that’s half-lullabye and half-affirming, aerobic exercise music. It’s not bad; this is one of the better things to arrive lately, but it’s completely without character, which makes it unlikely I’d listen to this again. Vaguely reminiscent of Gehenna’s first album.
Wrath of the Weak – Alogon
This album was named after “a logon,” because it’s clearly destined for MySpace fame. These simple songs rely on a burly version of Burzum technique where layers of guitar and bass overwash, but unlike in Burzum, they’re not playing anything inspiring. The result is droning dischord that neither enlightens, clarifies or distorts the senses in any interesting way. If you can play drums while listening to a jet engine, the result is the same.
Aäkon Këëtrëh – Journey into the Depths of Night
Some people always thought black metal should sound like Abruptum, which to me sounds like art school rejects taking on John Cage under the influence of cheap drugs, maybe mixed with Bondo or Killz for added kick. Lots of theatrical stuff, really simple music, goes absolutely nowhere and seems to think it’s making a big splash by being anti-music. Well, if you’re trapped in Guantanamo Bay, maybe this would be acceptable listening but everyone else has something better to do. A boy’s choir from a home for the chronically retarded could do better.
Hail of Bullets – Of Frost and War
Do you like Verminous and Repugnant? This is similar: it claims to be old school death metal but it has more in common with metalcore tricked out with an extra dose of bad heavy metal riffs. High-intensity production and relentless attack makes this seem like it might be interesting, but then you realize that it goes nowhere when you subtract the effect these riffs had on you when the original artists played them, and that the constant drive/bouncy drums of a metalcore band make it both exhausting and tedious. Vocals are good, but CD is pointless.
Heresi – Psalm II – Infusco Ignis
They probably play this for suicide bombers. I could see blowing myself up to make this end. These guys can play their instruments, and production is good, and they’ve mastered the basic songwriting to make it seem good, but… and again, but… they pick very obvious patterns and then songs undergo no change except the basic demands of manipulating consciousness to make something sound good. “Now an uplifting part, then back to minor!” Just when you think we’re going black metal, suddenly the bouncy heavy metal riff off a KISS album appears, and then more parts barf up, regurgitated from metal genres past in no particular order… OK, please no. I would rather listen to the soccer moms of America trying to cover songs from the first two Destruction LPs than this vomitous horror of good-but-not-good-at-all. Nilla, please.
The Howling Void – Megaliths of the Abyss
Neat, a Skepticism clone. But without anything really unique going on. It moves forward so glacially that you forget what just happened, so all you hear is the simultaneous ringing of keyboards and guitar drone, with a snare-bass plodding in the background. Unfortunately, it is also all too predictable even if you speed it up. And it takes forever to end. Forever, forever. This CD is better than most but still unremarkable.
