0 thoughts on “Heavier Than Thou”

  1. Bonaparte says:

    Feels like invading Germany !

  2. Corey Matthews says:

    I am a hipster I know that. All my friends are hipsters too. I like hipster metal like The Sword, Boris, Mastodon and I wrestled abear once. We don’t like your subculture, at least the one spoused and promoted at this site. We hipsters find it offensive. It makes us look like we all have bad taste except you and that we are missing something only intelligent people can see. We don’t like to feel inferior or unintelligent but we don’t take life seriously either why should we? Socialization is the most important thing in the world. Appearance is more important than substance because that’s how we get ahead. Some people say we dilute culture because we take everything lightly, it’s true but we don’t care. Fuck culture, race and elitism. Fuck metal music unless it’s ironic. We get laid you don’t. We don’t live in cellars, you do!

    And sex and freedom is all that matters right? I hate this site and I hate metal! I hate you, I hate you!! I am a hipster and I am proud and I will come here every day to tell you that! I just won’t post my name again!

  3. What? says:

    No No No. This post should have been about proles and their lousy life, only then was time to have a “classical music rules” post. You got the timing all wrong.

  4. Cockwangler says:

    This isn’t really as good as Morbid Angel or dead horse though. . .

  5. derpz says:

    Beautiful music, too bad it has nothing to do with the shit metal showcased here.

  6. Cory Matthews says:

    Oh shit, I’m so sorry guys. I forgot to take my meds and my other personality took control and was letting out repressed rage. He sometimes comes to this site to vent. I’m glad I find out so I can type the truth.

    Yes, indeed both Corey and I (Cory) are hipsters and yes we do like Sword, iwrestledadickonce, Boris but we don’t consider Mastodon to be hipster music. They’re more real metal that elitist tend to like. At least at shows, that’s how it is. Also, i can’t speak for all hipsters but I can tell you that I am intelligent. I think for myself, I scream fuck culture, race and elitism and I take things very lightly. Socialization is not very important but more so substance especially in music. I know most hipsters are shallow fuckheads but I’m not cut from the same cloth as they are. I don’t say “fuck metal” because I like pretty much everything except nu “metal”, deathcore and metalcore. I like bands that are heavy and share similiar qualities such as Demilich, Atrocity, Sacramentum, Cathedral, Mastodon, Asphyx and many more……And yes, I do get laid a lot.

    To me, being a hipster and a hessian is relatively close. At least being the type of hipster/metalhead that I am. Anyway, I’ll try to keep my buddy Corey under wraps. It shouldn’t be that hard.

    Anyway, Hails to you my hessian brothers! Aaaahhh!!!

  7. brutal slayer of christians, noble hessian warrior of death says:

    Does anyone get teary when listen to old school melodic death metal? I know I do, especially with songs like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGEJrkCikpU

  8. Jeremy Travis jr says:

    I think Mastodon are great. I was sucking cock while getting fucked in the ass whilst listening to Mastodon and I realized how great this band is! In fact, all my gay friends that do the same, all reach the exact same conclusion! I’m not saying you need a big cock pushing your cake up your rectum to realize how wonderful Mastodon is but, it sure helps. Mastodon is the only band all my boy friends that love Lady Gaga can listen to and while we clap and dance naked we can smile and hug all at the same time! Talk about cool metal!!

  9. tiny midget says:

    I had a tiny girlfriend who liked Mastodon, think she was a Hobbit but I’m not sure, she dumped me when she found out I got Levy_Spearmen’s mom pregnant. Bummer.

  10. Navy_Coreman says:


  11. Jeremy Travis Jr says:

    What the hell am I talking about? I hate Mastodon! They’re too brutal and all around metal for me. Mastodon is a true hessian band. What I do love is some Blood, Organic Infest, Pathologist and the new Morbid Angel when I take dick in the ass. I love it! Great music to listen to while getting fucked in the ass by black men. Complete, noisy trash is the way to go for nasty butt sex. I always search the DLA archives when I’m feeling a little gay and need to scratch the itch in my rectum.

    A little TMI(too much information) perhaps?

  12. ass burger says:

    First of all: not heavy, you entry level fucks.

    Second, wanna hear something heavy and more tasteful than death metal? Feast your ears on this:



    Coup de grace:


  13. Matodon Guy says:

    being gay is not a sin, i´m a proud gay mastodon fan and i am proud of my ass being my cunt for share! mastodon is gay music and we love it

  14. Levy_Spearmen says:

    We all know Furtwangler was a jew-hating nazi. Nice try, ANUS.

  15. Fartwangler says:

    Cocks. In my ass.

  16. James says:

    His style of conducting was perfectly suited to the symphonies of Bruckner.

  17. @Matodon Guy says:

    You’re right, Matodon is some really gay shit for gay queer faggots like yourself. However, Mastodon is good music for Hessians and real metalheads the world over.

  18. Truth says:

    Mastodon has two kinda pleasing albums with some quality riffs and damn good drumming. Their newer material is pseudo-prog self-parody crap. They’re not really that great of a band or that horrible of a band. Not sure why you aspies talk about them so much!!

  19. @Truth says:

    You’re right! Remission and Leviathian! Two very pleasing albums; good fuckin’ heavy metal!

  20. Mastodon is gay shit says:

    All Mastodon guy are homos and it’s homo music for hipsters. Run away from satan and from gaynes and accept Jesus the Christ as your saviour now!

  21. Queero Mc Hungo @ Truth says:

    I’ve got a big juicy mumbo jumbo between my legs you flurry dumbass cumm and get it!

  22. lol says:

    Only autistic faggots listen to Ornstein. Leave it to a faggot like Negru Voda to bust out some shitty, aspie-tier classical in an attempt to seem sophisticated.

  23. lol says:

    But Negru Voda has a good cock tho, i know i sucked it yesterday

  24. Lv 18 Julius Eevee ⚣ says:

    Bartók was genius; but those performances were utter shit.

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