0 thoughts on “It’s not the loud guitars”

  1. deart says:

    So what you’re saying is that this, despite being played on an instrument with a beautiful sound, still sucks. Thanks for pointing that out, I always said it wasn’t the noisy guitars that were the problem with metal but the bad music. Strip away the distortion and all the appeal is lost.

    Also, what kind of a faggot plays a harp?

  2. King Hipster says:

    Hey, before I knew about ANUS I thought I was pretty metalhead. I was even known as the Metalhead Joe in school. Damn right everybody thought I was the ultimate metalhead with my long hair and my cannibal corpses shirt thugging my fat body. I reviewd metal abums in Metal archives and even got to Metal lord status, reviewing superficial tings like “RIFFS THAT FUCKING RIP”, and “METAL WITH BALLS”, then I read ANUS and I was so struck. They actualy spoke about what the music was. Not just superficial thing like the riffs and blastbeats but the true philosophical depth behind metal. I was just so annoyed, what the fuck?? They are so much better than me. I looked in the mirror and realized I was no better that those malcore kids. I wanted music to just headbang and not think about, just like those morons that listen to the discoteque music just to dance and not think. So in that day I swore to take revenge on ANUS to make me feel that way. A little voice in my head told me, “wait, try to learn more about metal, study their point of view, even if yo don’t agree with everithing they say”. NAhh, revenge I answered. SO from that day on I came everyday until the day I die to this site to troll on these posts. May the wrath of hipsterdom fall upon those who simply know more than me. HIPSTERS OF THE WORLD UNITE!!!!

  3. kno ur enimy says:

    So you say that harp is an instrument with beautiful sound, then you go on and ask what kind of a faggot plays that instrument?

    Yep, hipster faggot detected.

  4. yup says:

    Dude, it’s a beautiful instrument for a GIRL to play. Not some faggot with a sleeveless shirt. Seriously, it’s like wanting a pony for your birthday. But then again I forget that all you anuspies are latent homosexuals anyway.

  5. lol "depth" says:

    >the true philosophical depth behind metal

    Summarized in this picture: http://tinyurl.com/3g9ahgu

  6. metal analysis says:

    Hey, since you’re posting a lot of these, here’s another one of metal’s deficiencies put in the spotlight by acoustic instrumentation:


    When he starts out it’s like some kind of epileptic retard music. Can you imagine that in a concert hall? You would get laughed out. Just like in the original, the only “good” part is the chorus melody, but in typical metal blockhead fashion, it gets run into the ground.

    Compare that with good music for the violin. Here’s a classic:


    You can tell the difference at a glance just from the sheet music, where in real music notes are spread all over the staff while metal is rife with sequences of the same note and short, boring motifs of that.

  7. fascism says:

    Thanks for posting such a beautiful piece of music! Just proves how metal has a depth of composition that rivals the best Baroque composers. Put me in the mood for some buggery too! Anyone wanna pump me full of hot jizz??

  8. @lol "depth" says:

    another case of “cannibal corpsism” and “panterism”. The very thing ANUS does not condone with.

  9. ok says:

    Please explain to me how this is any better:


    Oooh, we have capes and vampire fangs! We’re the faggot ghosts of the forest!

  10. lol u have aids says:

    I gave aids to ur dog and then it licked u and u also got the aids then u kissed ur mom and gave her aids now ur all gonna die lol

  11. prrrf says:

    Very good! The music aspect of music is what counts, not image or gimmicks. Eureka.

    Now maybe you can get to work on realizing multiculturalism is the way to the future. It’s awfully hard to hate the “Other” when the Other was your friend since childhood.

  12. @ok says:

    Because it gives a image that is in consonance with the music. And takes the atention away from their true identities. If the music sounds like it was created by some demonic archetipes why would they hang out in jeans and T-shirts. Plus, at the time, there was not widespread internet and everybody knowing who they were and reading interviews, so it gave tham a aura of darkness and mistery. Afterwards it became a moronic trend, yes.

  13. mmk? says:

    “If the music sounds like it was created by some demonic archetipes”

    See, that’s where you’re wrong. The music sounds like it was made by moronic, angry youth. You might as well look for demonic archetipes (sic) in your Magic card deck. It can be consistent, but it’s consistently stupid and silly.

  14. Metal Fight says:

    I prefer the opposite, when songs from other genres (more competent at composition, less worried about sounding angry, depressed or otherwise negative) are played with metal instrumentation.


    The pre-chorus @ 1:31 with the oboe is fucking sweet. Chorus is a bit overbearing with the choir though.

  15. mmk? says:

    Yes, of course I chose to ignore the good points that you made and said something ironic instead, what did you expect?

  16. @Metal Fight says:

    That song is just a chugging riff to make your head nod and a catchy chorus to make you sing. It is pop music about dancing and and whatever. But at least it is cover. Many bands write the same type of songs and call it Metal.
    Oh, I myself prefer chess thank you.

  17. and what does chess have to do with anything you aspie, I bet I could absolutely destroy you at speed chess you says:

    >That song is just a chugging riff to make your head nod and a catchy chorus to make you sing. It is pop music about dancing and and whatever

    And that is bad, because…?

    Music is meant to be enjoyed, if it’s enjoyable and makes you feel good, it is good, as far as music goes.

  18. yup says:

    Some people are more complex than you and need art that touches upon deeper things, hth

    for the record fun music can be great, but a lot of “fun” music is bad for other reasons, like being boring and predictable

  19. Queero Mc Hungo @ yup says:

    Ur just mad cause I couldn’t fuck you last night!

  20. @and what does chess have to do with anything says:

    And that is bad, because…?

    Nothing wrong about fun, but that is the difference between a decorative painting in the house and a work of art. See? The artist tryes to comnate something while the entretainer tries to make nod youre head. And the chess comment was to answer your magic card comment wich I never played. But listening to your answer you are the one who sounds like a aspie. not me.

  21. @and what does chess have to do with anything says:

    The artist tries to communicate something while the entertainer tries to make you’re head nod.*

    Prologue to a night out, and I am already a bit drunk. see, having fun.

  22. say NO to pornography says:

    Whatever your plans are for tonight you’ll probably end up masturbating. There’s nothing wrong with that, masturbation is perfectly natural and healthy. But I beg of you, when you masturbate please do not watch pornography. Pornography is immoral and wrong, it numbs the senses and poisons the mind while glorifying the abuse of women. So do not watch pornography! Instead just use your imagination and think about that special girl in your class or your aunt’s gigantic boobs. If this is not stimulating you enough to climax then consider having sex with your pets before you turn to the evils of pornography. Lots of people have sex with their pets these days and there’s nothing inherently wrong with it as long as you fantasize you’re having sex with a human while you’re doing it.

    So you see: you do not need pornography. There are plenty of alternatives. Please consider those alternatives before you contribute to an industry which violates the rights of women on a massive scale. Pornographic material is obscene and we must do anything to stop it from spreading.

  23. @say NO to pornography says:

    Cum in my asshole instead!
    – Fenriz



  25. Queero Mc Hungo @ metal analysis says:

    Scientists don’t really know what Black Holes are. But there are other kinds of Black Holes. Like ur black hole where I stick my stiff wet member. That hole is good stuff. You moan like a little girl though.

  26. aspie says:


  27. Truth says:

    > aspies
    > emos
    > hipsters

    the emo is the eternal hater of the aspie. hipsters and emos are friendly to each other usually by fellatio.

  28. fuckwit says:

    Who WOULDN’T want a pony for their birthday!?

  29. going out now says:

    em.os don’t exist anymore, stop living in 2006 you dumb as.pie. the world keeps turning while you’re locked in your b@s.ement

  30. Carg says:


    Much better playing of a much better composition.

    Compositions will fit different instrumentations better. Phantom of the Opera is more suitable for harp than the Trooper (though not by much – they both work very well on acoustic instruments).

  31. @ going out now says:

    Yes they do faggot. The superficial aspect might have dwindled but the same dysfunctional ego-dramatic faggotness remains. You are the proof that emos still exist you emo twat!

  32. @Saturday Night Aspie Fever says:

    How cumm ur such a closet homo?

  33. I just had sex (and it felt so good) says:

    >dysfunctional ego-dramatic faggotness remains

    yeah, alive as ever in nerdy funderground metal dorks

    keep it up bro

  34. I just had sex with a man (and it felt so good) says:

    He plucked my anus with his emo dick. i felt my heart skip a beat when he was cumming inside of me. mmmhm i love emo cock.

  35. durrhurr "ur ghey", clearly the province of mature intellectual elite says:

    What’s with the gay shit on the mind, bro? You some kind of queer? Did death metal make you this way like your hero Chuck Schuldiner? No, I had vaginal intercourse with this female who just left my pad.

  36. durrhurr "ur ghey", clearly the province of mature intellectual elite says:

    Yeah what’s up with death metal? Mind not the only band I know is Mastodon and Job for a Cowboy. Vaginal sex is so overrated, the trend is to be in this blog and come out of the closet. Gay anal sex is the shit now! My daddy made me his whore when I was six and since then I can’t live without a big juicy cock up my holes!!

  37. @ the above post says:

    Leave this fag that just had sex with the janitor alone. If he likes to suck hairy dick it’s his business. Clearly you both are homosexual that jerk off to gay porn while bananas melt inside your rectums!

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