Linkin Park Frontman Offs Himself

Metal fans are rejoicing after Chester Bennington, the frontman of godawful rap rock (“nu-metal”) band Linkin Fart, hanged himself yesterday.

Linkin Fart were one of those whiny screamo bands like Korn whose lyrics all revolved about how they got raped as kids and are so angry and confused they want to shop at Hot Topic. “Nu-metal” rap rock bands took the whiny, needs a fist to the face, bitchiness of the grunge bands and scaled it up from nagging teenagers to “Our pedo uncle raped us as kids so we can totally smash your bathroom mirror” in a pathetic attempt at attention whoring. Chester Bennington claimed to have actually been molested as a kid and rather than confront his rapist, killed himself. Such a limp-wristed twerp will not be missed. Rather his death should be celebrated along with that of yodeling mumbler Chris Cornell. Death prevents them both from ever recording more awful music to be played to Starbucks moms and Vans Warped Tour goers.

Hopefully other nu-metal musicians will follow him to the grave by their own hands. Phil Anselmo of Pantera has also claimed to have been molested as a kid. He should hang himself too. Phil Anselmo willingly exiting the life game would be a mighty triumph for the grand leveler. Anselmo committing suicide would be the only time in his life that the Death Metal Underground staff would ever congratulate an achievement of his. Do it!

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36 thoughts on “Linkin Park Frontman Offs Himself”

  1. intpaki says:

    i thought the guys weren’t metal

    what the fuck is your argument anymore

    1. They’re not metal. We are just happy when poseurs kill themselves. Hopefully metalcore bands, the Deftones. and Phil Anselmo will all kill themselves too.

      1. Bring back Rosales and send Mallrat to the gulags says:

        Linkin Park have ever claimed to be metal or tried to be metal.
        Stay classy though, Mallrat.

        1. canadaspaceman says:

          L.P. videos not only had mainstream airplay rotation, but were also on the weekly “metal” show on MuchMusic.
          Whether they called themselves metal or not, they and the program directors are fags, just like in the early 1990s when Soundgarden and all that Seattle grunge crap was played instead on the weekly metal radio and video shows, as if the plaguing the airwaves the other 99% of the time was not bad enough.

          1. Bring back Rosales and send Mallrat to the gulags says:

            Well it’s obvious that MSM and the record executives are the problem rather than the bands themselves.
            Would you have cared if LP were marketed as rap rock or alternative instead of being peddled on metal mags? Probably not.

            1. Mattel Marauder says:

              Good point, nost DMU users would probably have never heard of this band if they weren’t marketed as metal.

  2. Reduced Without Any Effort says:

    there were two kinds of 12 year olds in the 2000s

    1) the insecure 12 year olds that listened to linkin park
    2) the insecure 12 year olds that were somehow neurotic enough to see linkin park, a rap rock band, as a threat to metal

    so I guess the overarching question here is how long did daniel maarat have to be in a coma to write this article?

    1. Horst Fuchs says:

      Let the butt hurt begin

    2. brutal rap says:

      Trick question; Daniel is actually 12 years old

    3. Rainer Weikusat says:

      “the insecure 12 year olds”? Sure you were ever 12?

  3. KingdomGone says:

    Pretty good trolling. 4/5

  4. neutronhammer says:

    Anselsmo offing himself or dying a horrible death would be most welcome indeed.

  5. Meat says:

    I could only conclude that this article was typed deliberately to invite hostility amongst their fans. This will prove either the author will achieve gratification or will be a mere passing and show the audience had indeed grown up, embarrassing the author of misusing his time. Let’s watch

  6. bums says:

    really weak troll attempt tbh, good portrayal of a sociopath though

  7. I Sacrificed My ANUS To Brett Stevens says:

    I never liked this band, but that’s still no reason to be glad he died. Linkin Park never claimed to be metal (nor tried to be metal), as “Bring back Rosales and send Mallrat to the gulags” (great name by the way, I agree with it!) said.

  8. Scrotal Impairment says:

    Too bad it didn’t off itself before it could breed.

    Anselmo still has many chances to make a fool of himself, the entertainment factor there is too high.

  9. Hector Pilar (Extreme Chilean Metal) says:

    I’m glad that faggot killed himself but I can’t say the same about Phil Anselmo. I love Pantera. Always have. STRONGER THAN ALL 101 PROOF!!!

    1. 1488 not 1776 says:

      Pantera stinks but Anselmo’s p cool

      he should start a RAC/white power side project, it’s obviously his calling

      1. you're gay says:

        his calling is exposing himself and yelling incoherently at NASCAR pit crews

  10. He Who Fucks Your Wife At Night says:

    Looks like the abusive father of the author was a Pantera/Phil Anselmo fan.

  11. HH says:

    linkin park is the reason I stopped telling people what music i listen to.

    person: what sort of music are you into?

    HH: metal.

    person: oh, like linkin park?

    What are you supposed to say to that? “Nah, underground shit, brahhhh”

    1. HessianMurdererOfBlackDeath says:

      “No, metal”

  12. On December 14, 2012 Adam Lanza took his own life with a gunshot. He was only 20. Suicide is never an answer. No matter what distaste we may have for an artist, this should not be condoned. If you are feeling depressed, don’t feel afraid to reach out to someone: family members, friends, or find a counselor or suicide hotline. It can get better, I promise.

    1. canadaspaceman says:

      LOL, i forgot about Sandy Hook. many false flag operations have happened and the majority of the public refuses will always reject visible proof they can even see on youtube.

      1. canadaspaceman says:

        *the majority of the public refuses to investigate what the major media shows as “truth”, and they will always reject visible proof they can even see on youtube.

    2. you're gay says:

      delicious AND educational!

  13. Covfefe says:

    Never claimed to be Metal? Yeah, maybe they never did. They did claim to have kept Metal alive though. Fucking posers alright, just like Bon Jovi slagging Venom for giving “a bad name” to Metal.

  14. Phil says:

    Linkin Park helped me get into heavier music. Like it or not they had their own voice and were good at what they did. It’s easy to feel lost in a world that is lost itself, and LP spoke to many an alienated child like myself (as well as, I am sure, it spoke to self-centred wasters).

    I understand shock is what does when it has no other ideas, but there should be some positive recognition at least.

    1. 1488 not 1776 says:

      Back in the day this was the site that shit on Chuck Schuldiner. This article’s only sin is being way too obvious and unoffensive

    2. Rainer Weikusat says:

      Have a look at this:

      This is already hard to stand in a nightclub with all these hollow forms play-acting emotions which are totally alien to them (J. Average Person has 3 emotional states, hungry, horny and angry<->afraid). Being professionally produced, the main character is obviously a beautiful, young woman (not a girl, mind you) whose breasts are prominently featured because (as we know), sex sells. This also makes it hurt more because this is all so wrong. The underlying message is roughly: Feeling miserable? Watch out for the beautiful, rich guy who’s going to kick you in the face a couple of times before he walks away laughing as he’s a famous artist. And by the way, his girl-friend is, too. Bullied? Though shit your sex symbol qualities are nil — nobody cares about ugly losers … and so on.

      A sane, emotional reaction to this ersatzmusik would a desire to punch this guy until he stops with this because it’s genuinely evil, although certainly just because of thoughtlessness, all they wanted is take our tears and turn them into $$$, y’know, if the world is even worse afterwards, we at least know who can pay for the champagne now.

      Musically and even optically, this is a rehash of the basic Nirvana template,

      just with professional songwriting – that’s why they have the scratcher in there – and styling, with the casting done according to established Disney Standards™ and this irritating aggression removed.

      If you feast with the hyenas, they’ll eat you after everything else is gone.

      1. Rainer Weikusat says:

        Postscriptum for Siegfreud ‘Mund’ Mindreader: As I’m neither a teenager nor an American, I’m entirely unaffected by Genuinely American Teenage Neurosis™. Whether this is because it wasn’t already fasionable by the time I had the mispleasure or because of less neurotical surroundings I don’t know.

  15. …At the end….your bitching doesnt really matter :-D Joking aside what dude should of done is written a public appaulogy for all the horrible music Linkin Park has produced and I think some of us (not me) might of accepted that. He might of been still alive and Linkin Park would of continued to fade away but nnnnooooo selfish bastard had to take his life. Countless articles martyrizing this douche bag and this band.

    1. Reduced Without Any Effort says:

      wow your so hardcore how do i be as radical as you…you wouldnt accept an apology :-O like WOAH…your trueley awesome,,

  16. Yuzerneigm says:

    I knew this shit was coming;)

  17. Aaron says:

    Why does the production of bad music warrant death? This article is stupid.

  18. OSDM says:

    Noice :^)

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