Sadistic Metal Reviews: 3-9-2017

The Death Metal Underground staff subjects themselves to countless nights of toilet diving in order to bring you gems crapped out by the dessicated undead corpse of the music industry. These are what we left in the latrine.

Martyrdöd – List (2016)
Martyrdod play Swedish d-beating crustcore and bash out simple rock songs with three chord punk riffs that plod on for far too long and quickly become repetitive. All of the songs share the same basic rhythms but sometimes have exemplary guitar work which makes List worth a listen if you love middling hardcore with guitar wank. Occasionally riffs are inspirational heavy metal, hard rock. and post-hardcore constructions but they’re not used particular well most of the time in the rock songs on List. The drumming is so rigid as to beat times bordering on electronica. Where is the rage and violence? All the songs need to be cut in half. This is much stronger than your average NWN! forum funderground fodder or Vice Noisey shilled “melodic” “hardcore” nonsense. Martyrdod has great ambitions but they need to leave the d-beating, Swedish kang punk song structures behind in order to fully realize their musical potential; Martyrdod needs to embrace metal fully.  Right now Martyrdod’s music is merely a guitar wank curiosity fit only to open for better bands despite being the best release by far on this list

Immolation – Atonement (2017)
Immolation are creatively bankrupt, paroding themselves yet again more verse-chorus-verse style songs. Immolation haven’t release a worthwhile record in fifteen years. Atonement even makes liberal use of the “Ride the Lightning” breakdown like a second-rate Sodom record. Riffs are arranged randomly as in Satyricon or metalcore rather than in the modal riff mazes of most of the better done death metal. How the mighty have fallen! Echoes of Here in After through Unholy Cult litter this record but just make listeners want to go back and listen to those infinitely superior releases rather than Immolation turning themselves into C-list speed metal for a lowest common denominator festival audience. The gig is up guys.

Teleport – Ascendance (2016)
Teleport are a speed metal band attempting to worship Timeghoul in rock structured songs. I guess Teleport hope to be Vektor or eventually another awful band on Dark Descent Records but Ascendance actually has riffs. Teleport has potential if they leave the speed metal song forms behind, discard all the stolen Dave Mustaine riffs, and listen to Rust in Peace, The Red in the Sky is Ours, Pure Holocaust, and Onward to Golgotha until they fully understand the peaks of metal and proper riff-based, melodic narrative song structures. Teleport need something better than “Hey we sound like crap people actually buy as they’re adult babies!” to become artistically worthy.

Extermination Angel – “War Torture” (2017)
Extermination Angel play Angelcorpse-style death metal meets thrash. The “War Torture” single reminds me a lot of Martire but not nearly as adept. Surely Extermination Angel can improve their songwriting in the future.

Imha Tarikat – Kenoboros (2017)
Imha Tarikat play repetitive funderground black ‘n’ roll with Swedish black metal icing (Necrophobic and Sacramentum) on their debut EP Kenoboros. Songs drone on for three times as long as their limited musical content can sustain. Imha Tarikat are ultimately the type of repetitive droning whiney pseudo-metal that cancerous forum dwellers and bar show going hipsters will eat up as innovative but you’ve heard it all before. There’s nothing positive to recommend here but the band could hopefully improve. Another spin of The Nocturnal Silence or Far Away from the Sun would serve listeners better.

Second Horizon – Albdruck (2016)
Random prog rock mixed with djent type riffing. Thankfully this is an instrumental album free of screamo vocalizations. Albdruck is the type of mediocre jazz-fusion that would appeal to turtlenecked fans of later Cynic, not metalheads. As metal, Second Horizon should do what Dead did and kill themselves.

Fraser Edwards – I Am God (2016)
Gay dance club music meets carnival music metalcore in a bucket of semen that’s a potpurri of STDs.

Liturgy Of Decay – First Psalms (Psalms of Agony And Revolt – First and Early Shape) (2016)
Goth disco. Listening to Liturgy of Decay is like getting HIV by stepping on a used needle that goes right through the sole of your shoe in the bathroom of a lame nightclub.

Trauer – A Walk Into The Twilight (2017)
Lame whine rock meant for hipsters made they got fired from sandwich artistry for getting pussing facial piercings, rendering them unpresentable to customers.

Evenline – Tenebris (2017)
Cancerous MTV2 Metalcore released ten years too late. Solly Charlie go die in fire.

Endalok – Úr Draumheimi Viðurstyggðar (2017)
Random riffless hipster ambient music pretending to be black metal. Die. The oven is that way. Stick your head in it.

Fall of Catharge – The Longed-For Reckoning (2017)
Slaughter of the Soul influenced metalcore meets Pantera and pizza thrash. Die.

Dimension Terror – Infernal Deathspell (2016)
Droning and repetitive Deathspell Omega worship with no raison d’être so Dimension Terror should stop existing. Death is the easiest way to go about stopping a human’s existence. I recommend Dimension Terror becomes successful at something for once and kills themselves. Then they would have successfully removed themselves from existence and we could rightfully applaud them!

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15 thoughts on “Sadistic Metal Reviews: 3-9-2017”

  1. nigstomper88 says:

    Martyrdod play hipster crustfund cuckpunk exlusively. DIE! DIE and Listen to Amebix, Discharge and GISM only!

    1. Marc Defranco says:


  2. GGALLIN1776 says:


  3. At war with quality... says:

    The only thing somewhat ‘listenable’ is Immolation. Too bad this is probably their worst.

  4. Confused Anus delver says:

    “This album took us by surprise as 2009 was drawing to a close, capping off a year filled with more quality albums than the discerning Metal listener of recent years is used to. Vektor’s grasp of their ancestry is profound and combined with an epic concept and insane and elegant musicianship, ‘Black Future’ plays out like some cosmic race towards entropy with mankind in the driver’s seat.”

    And you’re trying to say Teleport is better than that ?

    1. Fuck no. Death Metal Underground was run by different, less elitist, more mosh core fun trends people then. The Dark Legions Archive moved from ANUS to later.

    2. Vektor are who these Teleport idiots want to be so they should just kill themselves and not be a band anymore as Vektor are terrible.

  5. HH says:

    Lisa Loeb didn’t use a verse-chorus structure. Is ‘Stay (I Missed You)’ a guilty favorite amongst the Dark Legions?

    1. Prole Reamer says:

      No because what that song communicates is completely mundane. Stop pretending to be retarded.

  6. Altarboyz 'N the Hood of Madness says:

    I can’t believe you put Rust in Peace in a list that included The Red in the Sky is Ours, Pure Holocaust, and Onward to Golgotha.

  7. Always good to see these all these Satanists getting taken down a notch… keep up the good work fellow Christians.

    1. Erectile of Perditionist says:

      Dawg, your dumb shtick is still falling flat, 5 months later or whatever.

      1. Dark Side Poop says:

        No it’s not! Keep up the great work Brother John and Dr.Szisz!

  8. canadaspaceman says:

    I don’t understand the hate towards “verse-chorus-verse style songs”. That is how most rock/metal songs were always structured until Megadeth’s 1985 debut LP was released.
    Immolation and metalcore ? does not compute. I am not an expert, but heard enough metalcore from the last 20 years to judge that while there could be similarities in a few guitar parts / drum beats, Immolation OVERALL still sounds like a sick cousin of old Morbid Angel and is still totally death metal.
    Downloaded this new one and it’s ok. Immolation was never a fave band of mine, they’re ok. I will agree, “Atonement” (2017) is average. … but … Most of today’s albums are average anyways.
    Not too many stellar releases anymore. If a band captures you with one or two catchy songs, then hopefully they hook you in to explore.

    1. Metal riffs + vocal driven hardcore songwriting = metalcore. All of Immolation’s riffs are made of recycled licks from better Immolation albums in short rock ‘n’ roll songs so they can bash this out quickly, tour, and play the hits live.

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