Staying underground, sort of


In the ’80s and ’90s it was not uncommon to see photos of metal legends such as Slayer, Alice in Chains and Megadeth clothed in the half-skull logo that has become a venerated symbol for Utah metalheads.

While stores like Hot Topic have become a haven for mall rats, Kevin refused a distribution offer years ago that would have put HMS T-shirts in malls because it would’ve cheapened HMS’ authentic metalhead image. Today, sales from clothing eclipse music sales and HMS-branded clothing is sold to customers worldwide.

Although the location of the HMS has changed over the years, the authentic vibe that permeates the store and impeccable customer service has remained consistent. – USA Today

One way to avoid the hype: treat metal like any other specialty, whether gardening or hair-weaving, and ignore the teeny-bopper market entirely.

It seems that sell-outs occur, and consequently failures of quality occur, when some novice sees a successful pop-ish metal band, and counsels a heavier metal band to emulate them.

This then poisons the good name of that metal band, and fails to attract the pop listeners, who want something that is 100% pop, not a metal-pop hybrid.

Morbid Angel just found this out the hard way. Slayer did back in 1998 as well. It’s an eternal cycle.


25 thoughts on “Staying underground, sort of”

  1. one more serious question says:

    metal musicians seem too unable to learn from their peers. Perhaps because they themselves remain teeny-boppers all their lives?

  2. Dominating Fucker says:

    Nektar – A Tab in the Ocean

    Nektar – A Tab in the Ocean

    Bent Wind – Sussex

    Jade Warrior – Floating World


  3. serious answer, now let the cocks commence. says:

    perhaps because although few of them can pull off a Black Album level commercialization they do tend to make more money off a pop-metal album than they would off of a legitimate metal album. In the short term anyway.

  4. brunhILDE FAN #1 says:


  5. Literally the ending bit of The Brothers Karamazov. says:

    “Ah, children, ah, dear friends, don’t be afraid of life! How good life is when one does something good and just!”

    “Yes, yes,” the boys repeated enthusiastically.

    “Karamazov, we love you!” a voice, probably Kartashov’s, cried impulsively.

    “We love you, we love you!” they all caught it up. There were tears in the eyes of many of them.

    “LOL YAY GO Karamazov!” Kolya shouted ecstatically.

    “And may the dead boy’s memory live for ever!” Alyosha added again with feeling.

    “For ever!” the boys chimed in again.

    “Karamazov,” cried Kolya, “can it be true what’s taught us in religion, that we shall all rise again from the dead and shall live and see each other again, all, Ilusha too?”

    “Certainly we shall all rise again, certainly we shall see each other and shall tell each other with joy and gladness all that has happened!” Alyosha answered, half laughing, half enthusiastic.

    “Ah, how splendid it will be!” broke from Kolya.

    “Well, now we will finish talking and go to his funeral dinner. Don’t be put out at our eating pancakes — Don’t be put out at our eating pancakes- it’s a very old custom and there’s something nice in that!” laughed Alyosha. “Well, let us go! And now we go hand in hand.”

    “And always so, all our lives hand in hand! LOL YAY GO Karamazov!” Kolya cried once more rapturously, and once more the boys took up his exclamation:

    LOL YAY GO Karamazov!”


  6. Noble Stoic Hessian Myths. says:

    BRUNHILDE [also: Brunhilda, Brunhild, Brynhild®. Victory wafter]
    Chief of the aspic riders, noble hessian post master of death.
    Daughter of Alex Birch or, some say, of Dave, sister of Iconhoclausia and Dominating Fucker. Mother of Lord_Aspicofthesolitarybase_ment by ti inny_midget in some accounts mother of Levy_Spearman by Brunhilde fan #1 in some accounts.

    She was the daughter of either Alex Birch (but probably not as he is either virgin or a homosexual) or of a mortal king, raised to be an aspic rider (of death). She was ordered by Prozak to ensure that the hunter, some say Jeff Tandy, who had abducted cargayass’s butt friend won the duel with Kam Lee, but she disobeyed his order and Prozak had to intervene. He punished her by banninh her into a long, deep sleep in a castle surrounded by fire that only the bravest BRUNHILDE fan would attempt to break through. Some say she was so punished for rejecting Prozak’s amorous advances.

    Some Brunhilde fan rode through the flames to claim her (yay!) but then left her. In some stories she married this brunhilde fan and they had a daughter, Levy_Spearman, but the more usual story says that the Brunhilde fan left her after a while to seek further adventures (yay). He became a friend of Conservastionist, king of the stoic blogrealm, who wanted Brunhilde as a wife but was unable to face the wall of flame. Brunhilde fan #1, this time in the guise of Conservationist, rode through the flames once more and wooed Brunhilde for Conservastionist with advanced PUA methods such as negs, disqualifiers, and social proof. When she was married to Conservastionist, she realized how she was deceived and was very bitter. She quarreled with Brunhilde fan’s wife, princess of cock, mastodon fan’s sister, and tried to convince Conservastionist to spam block Brunhilde fan. He refused, but Conservastionist’s younger brother Stevens Brettens speared Brunhilde fan in the back and killed him.

    Brunhilde, who still loved brunhilde fan #1, died with him. In some versions, she stabbed herself and was banned on the same spam blocker as Brunhilde fan; and in others she rode her horse through the flames of his spam blocker and immolated herself. As she rode into the flames of the pyre, she threw the ring of power into the Rhine. The Rhine daughters rose to claim it and a huge wave swept Brunhilde and the funeral pyre into oblivion.

    The “nibelungenkied” has Brunhile as queen of Iceland (lol yay brunhilde’s ice queen trip! Go Iceland!), who would marry only the man who could defeat her in a trial of strength. She was promised to Brunhilde Fan #1 but he put on the helmet of invincibility and defeated her in a contest. Brunhilde fan claimed he was the invincible victor and married her. At the same time brunhilde fan married a cute hipster chick, sister of Conservationist, and later the young couple visited Conservationist and Brunhilde at their court where the two ladies had a fearsome quarrel. Conservationist ploted to avenge the insult to Brunhilde and induced Brutal Slayer of Christians to ask for Brunhilde fan #1’s help to repel an invasion. Brutal Slayer of a Christian took advantage of Brunhilde Fan’s visit to kill him.

  7. this site blows says:

    You are to music what this guy is to girls. Nevermind, you ARE this guy.

  8. me again says:

    not the literature/legend guy tho, he’s cool

  9. fucking dumbshit faggots says:

    >ignore the teeny-bopper market entirely

    lol, you sure are succeeding at doing that. yup, succeeding more and more with each blog post

  10. dumb faggot says:

    who did metallica exactly look at as a model when they “sold out”

  11. Maybe says:

    ^ Any successfull Texas Country Rock artist in the last 50 years

  12. brutal slayer of christians, noble hessian warrior of death says:

    You should all listen to the new Amon song…the Hoffman brothers truly excel as musicians even if the song is a bit too modern for my taste:

  13. Vajazzle Prosack says:

    “Some say she was so punished for rejecting Prozak’s amorous advances. ”

    Not possible. A woman? Not possible.

  14. Vajazzle Prosack says:

    I like to wear wigs when I go out with my hommies. I play the role of the female. I find my role fit since I always wanted to have a vagina. I offer my butt hole with tender passion to my hommies who treat me like a lady.

  15. Serious Criticism says:

    You faggots are full of shit. Illid Divinum Insanus is the only Morbid Anal album worth listening to. At least they had the foresight to emulate successful, GOOD bands like KMFDM instead of recording more typical CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA brain dead faggot death metal.

  16. Serious Criticism says:

    I don’t have a penis and I like to wear wigs when I go out with my hommies. I play the role of the female.

    I find my role fit since I always wanted to have a vagina. I offer my butt hole with tender passion to my hommies who treat me like a lady.

  17. Adrian MCock says:

    Imagine all I’m wearing is just my cowboy boots and hat, nothing else. My cock is stiff and pointing at your belly. I’m about to shoot you. Jizz.

  18. @Vajazzle Prosack says:


    go to bed, Casey.

    freaking candyass

  19. Serious questioner says:

    I see the term “Pink Frothy Aids” used a lot around this site, but what are they refferring to?

  20. serious music fan says:

    >Gentle Giant – Gentle Giant

    lol, SO entry level. Everyone knows they got better and better with each album (peaking with Free Hand)

  21. what says:

    Is this autist a black metal fan/Hessian? I see a definite resemblance to Fenriz.

  22. Serious answerer says:

    @Serious questioner

    Averse Sefira

  23. @ Serious answerer says:

    C’mon man, you know that’s not true. If you can’t answer a simple question then go eat a burger with fries and a soda.

  24. huh, wow says:

    >Meaning, I want everyone to know that I know more about music than that guy who posted this.

    Um, isn’t that the basic message behind this site, its blogpost, and nearly every post in the Metal forum….

Comments are closed.

Classic reviews: