Wolves in the Throne Room Release Random Riff Salad

Hipster screamos Wolves in the Throne Room released a new track and music video from their upcoming album Thrive Woven, which releases September 15th, 2017 on Artemisia Records.

“Born From the Serpent’s Eye” is a whiny cry baby riff salad of unrelated riffs over monotonous sampled blasting for their overweight beardo frontman to whine about he wants to have sex with trees . The music video conveniently leaves out the soft as kittens riding lambs acoustic Enya interlude as Wolves in the Throne Room want to appear tough by playing what in no way, shape, or form approaches black metal. Their riffs sound like a shitty speed metal band’s with emotional hardcore leads and do not make any sense whatsoever as a piece of music, yet alone a metal composition.

Wolves in the Throne Room continue to prove themselves as hippies who probably have lice as shampoo kills baby seals. Hippies are the opposite of Hessians. Wolves in the Throne Rooms want to fuck trees, using the sap as lubricant, as they are degenerate perverts who lie about living alone in the woods. The band has frequently been caught backstage masturbating with maple syrup to the Ents in Peter Jackson’s film adaptation of The Two Towers; Treebeard sure gets their trees up. A well-timed forest fire with their peckers unfortunately stuck in a trunk would be the most fitting end since Windir. Or a hidden beehive. Sex with trees leading to death by bees.

Here’s the actual track:

and here’s the stupid video:

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38 thoughts on “Wolves in the Throne Room Release Random Riff Salad”

  1. Marc Defranco says:

    This band eats tree ass

  2. GVSM says:

    No more cosmic ambient?? Fuck this shit riff salad

  3. Reduced Without Any Effort says:

    this might be the only time the backlash against wittr by this site is actually warranted, but it’s because they unfortunately appear to have sold out in some misguided pursuit of success with the indie crowd.

    daniel maarat is a completely unsubstantive retard, as always. I find it hard to believe he actually understands or appreciates music in any meaningful way. “hessians” (in reality just another postmodern breed of retro hipster barely distinguishable from art of manliness, which is also probably the inspiration for this site’s beer and tobacco reviews) are hardly an ideal – they are losers, and none of metal’s greatest figures were hessians. “sodomize the weak” is about as blatant a slogan of repressed homosexuality as they come. want to see some of these lofty, intelligent, profound “hessians”? go to a gay-hipster-ass stoner metal concert, that’s where all those obese junkies have been hanging out to get away from drum machine slam-death metal shows since pantera disbanded and seth putnam died of aids.

    wittr’s prior output is consistently interesting, and certainly more musically sophisticated than the entirety of the rehashed and uninspired garbage this website pushes on a contrived ideological rather than musical and genuinely intellectual grounds. death metal in particular has been entirely – entirely – stagnant since the red in the sky is ours and obscura were released. by contrast, diadem of 12 stars was the greatest fit of lofty inspiration put to distorted guitars in a decade. two hunters, black cascade, and celestial lineage saw them develop and push the effective narrative structure they explored on diadem of 12 stars (made effective by their continued mastery of always complimentary, occasionally contrapuntal and often fugal riffing, as well as the art of the dramatic and wagnerian use of textures) to levels of success that have not been seen in metal at least since burzum. they have also consistently been ahead of the pack intellectually – they complete the cycle of nihilism by creating a new spiritual life. the sad truth is that deathmetal.org’s nihilism is no more intellectually advanced than jewish trite like the church of satan, it just cloaks this in verbosity. about wittr’s only weakness is their embrace of relatively mainstream and modern compressed production standards. this brings me to a related point – I’ve always got the impression that this site derides wolves in the throne room because of that old interview you guys did ages ago where they hilariously made you all look like a bunch of autists. highly encourage anyone and everyone to read it.

      1. Reduced Without Any Effort says:

        hay guize if u r a false dont entry xddddd “only death is real” amirite <– cLeVeR rEfErEnCeS give me metalz street cred and make me not an embarrassment xd

    1. Syphilis says:

      The posturing of WiTTR is laughable at best and is a rehash of what Ulver did over a decade earlier (something inane about forests and trees and shit for virtue signaling points). Musically its in the better half of the whole post-(black) metal thing.

    2. Marc Defranco says:

      I gave them a decent listen years ago, celestial lineage is definitely where they fell off the “black metal wagon” you could say and fed themselves to the pitchfork fiends. Maybe first two albums are listenable but nothing to rave about. Few good ideas thrown into long songs and played to death. You say in a decade… Taake, Craft, Absu, Cultes Des Ghoules, S.V.E.S.T., Lunar Aurora, Beherit, Wulkanaz, Paysage d’Hiver, Sabbat and many more all released better albums than the entire WITTR discography within the last decade or so. Specific albums are Engram in 2009 and Urfaust in 2003.

      1. Reduced Without Any Effort says:

        hate to let you know this but but engram is rehashed ildjarn with a more listenable production and a tinge of mallcore in the riffing. svest urfaust MAYBE is as good as diadem of 12 stars, but the weakness of diadem (the tendency to meander in a way that doesn’t aid the narrative structure) is even more present.

        1. Marc Defranco says:

          Yes Engram is no masterpiece but it is still better than wolves and was just used as a specific example. You fail to account for the rest of the bands with quality releases that are better like Tara and Hoagascht. Urfaust has a hypnotic aspect that works well with the long songs, wolves does not

    3. kek says:

      holy autism

      I like WITTR’s first album. But they have been going downhill since then.

      Also saw them live, they really shouldn’t have been the headliners.

    4. Bring back Rosales says:

      Mallrat is definitely a retard but WITTR are very boring.

    5. Vigilance says:

      I distinctly remember a 1:1 rip off a burzum riff on two hunters. I believe the one they stole was in the second track of hvis. I’m sure if you wanted to go looking you could find more. The appeal of wittr is understandable but truthfully the music doesn’t have much staying power.

    6. Phil says:

      I’ve raved about Two Hunters since its release. I’m still waiting for the DMU “re-appraisal” where they might “rediscover” this work that was obscured from them all along using some inane new paradigm they’ve absorbed from whatever tingle Brett felt creep through his synapses when he took a twiggy shit that morning.

    7. I'm not gay, I just want your AIDS! says:

      You place far too much value in “intellectuality”, rather reminiscent of a Jew.

      Metal’s appeal does not lie in something as stilted, rational, and self-conscious as the intellect. It is suprarational. It requires one let go of the part of ourselves that insists upon categorizing all phenomena according to its perceived similarity to other phenomena, as seen in the neurotic autists that bicker over metal subgenres in Youtube comments.

      To those who seek it, metal offers a glimpse behind the veil, a looking glass into the astral hyperreality that envelopes us but of which most will remain blissfully unaware of for the entirety of their lives. By tapping into the primordial animus that lies dormant within all Nords (who are really descendants of the Anunaki), metal elutriates the Pineal gland wherein the quantum singularity resides and upon extricating it elevates consciousness to heights otherwise only accessible to Brahman avatars like Hitler and Varg. It is only through metal and to a lesser extent esoteric frot rituals that can set one on the path to nihilistic transcendental enlightenment in the void of timeless nothingness.

      If you wish to navel-gaze, then fuck off back to Jazz or Schoenberg whatever fag you like to jack it to and stop pretending to like metal.

      1. John says:

        Tell me more about this new metaphysics that combines Cartesian dualism with Vedic monism.

        1. Rainer Weikusat says:

          Shake a printed dictionary so hard that the words fall on the floor. Pick some of them up while blindfolded. Connect with random filler phrases.

      2. Reduced Without Any Effort says:

        make no mistake, maarat and the second-rate grindcore and other assorted rehashes he pushes are spiritually deficient compared to wolves in the throne room’s output too, and I’m glad you bring this up, as I am in complete agreement that this is far more significant a point in favor of wolves in the throne room and against maarat than his notable deficiency when it comes to intellect. it’s just hard to ignore the topic of intellectuality when so much pseudo-intellectual garbage gets published here.

        1. Marc Defranco says:

          Although I don’t agree with Dan all the time what’s the second rate grindcore he pushes? I don’t see this site push rehashes often. Examples of non rehashes could be Desecresy, Kaeck and Serpent Ascending which all have a decently unique sound. Maybe the last was Ripper? And even if he does there’s no difference with you pushing your second-rate “black metal”

          1. Reduced Without Any Effort says:

            Not only are those bands tribute bands, they’re rehashes of pretty well-known bands, which makes it surprising to me that people haven’t caught on. Both Serpent Ascending and Desecresy are later a rehash of 90s Finnish death metal bands, with Desecresy skewing towards the style of bands like Demigod. Serpent Ascending (probably the most captivating of these bands) mixes it with later Leviathan/Lurker of Chalice. Kaeck is Paysage d’Hiver without the epic song structures. None of these bands are innovators when it comes to music (in style, structure, or substance), aesthetic, or spirituality. Second-rate grindcore is an explicit reference to Blood, where the whole “sodomize the weak” thing comes from.

            1. “?” – Bezos

              None of the bands you’re criticizing sound anything like the indie rock bands you fetishise. Blood is not second-rate.

            2. Marc Defranco says:

              What the fuck? Do you not understand influence? Of course those bands would have a Finnish death metal influence because that is their basis, but what is important is the unique elements that have pushed them into new territory for an otherwise tired style. Nearly every band has something in common with another be it production, riff style and so on. I would say Kaeck have more in common with Emperor. Your opinion on Blood has exposed you as a trend. The first album and some demos are top quality bare bones grindcore while O Agios Pethane carries a strong unique sound.

              Also you criticize these bands for not “innovating” when WITTR have done nothing new and their innovations have only spawned a slew of garbage “post black metal” whine rock. Half their shit just sounds like tired Drudkh worship if you want to talk influences

              1. Yeah Kaeck sounds like Emperor and Zyklon-B more than anything else. I highly doubt that Kaeck listens to anything softer than Summoning at all.

              2. Reduced Without Any Effort says:

                the problem is there is nothing unique about those bands, it goes beyond “influence” and into tribute territory. it’s all fun but it’s doing nothing to advance metal musically. nitpick about which band kaeck it a tribute to all you want. where wolves in the throne room are compositionally superior and far ahead of any other modern band this site discusses is structure (and texture in pursuit of that end). wolves in the throne room from two hunters through celestial lineage have consistently been the strongest narrative structural composers in the metal genre, allowing the listener to experience the underlying spiritual phenomena. if anything you and the writers of this site are trends, who care more about run of the mill revival bands and gay scene warfare than the substance of the art.

                1. After reading this, I have to take a shit to take my mind off your idiocy. Contemplating the gloriousness of the digestive tract as the turds of indigestible fiber are smoothly squeezed out of my rectum is closer to metal than Wolves in the Throne Room’s screamo grunge.

                2. Marc Defranco says:

                  Ah haha no you are wrong. Wolves are merely mashing together different sounds other bands have already defined and done better. Ex: Lunar Aurora, Drudkh (if you like that kind of stuff), Summoning, Evilfeast, some shoegaze bands and many others. The bands you call “tribute” are easily identifiable while wolves could be any other black metal band taking heavily from multiple bands to hide their lack of a unique sound. Their art is false, they took something that was not really theirs to begin with and thrusted it into mainstream like so many other bands have done before.

                  You think I really care about scene warfare? I don’t give a shit what band plays what. I just like to discuss music with others and call out bands I think don’t deserve the recognition just like you calling out Kaeck and so on.

                  If you really want to look at bands pushing the boundaries related to bm then Grudom, Wulkanaz and so on deserve your attention

      3. Totem 4 tha sky godz says:

        We wuz ancient aliens n`shit

      4. Seth says:

        For more comments from NS Deepak Chopra, visit http://sebpearce.com/bullshit/

    8. Rainer Weikusat says:

      It’s originally about a twisted farmer fucking his cattle as they can’t possible escape him (the German Sodomie means bestiality). That’s already ironic enough: Go for soft targets. That’s not so dangerous.

    9. you're gay says:

      maarat is no genius but this is laughable

    10. Exfoliation says:

      You come off as a fag who like big unwashed hairy penises in his mouth, five at a time! No my pouty Bessie, pooch they succulence with stubborn crossed arms, they knooow you’re right and just can’t handle it! It’s just not fair!

      1. Reduced Without Any Effort says:

        you type like a fruit

  4. HH says:

    DMU editorial guide:

    Band author doesn’t like: “riff salad”

    Band author does like: “riff maze”

  5. Vigilance says:

    It’s funny when you called this riff salad my first thought was how the hell do you do that with only 3 riffs per song at twenty minutes. This is actually super random. If you can give this band any credit, they at least used to write flowing music. Looks like they lost that trying to be more metal or whatever this is. Outside of bad.

  6. neutronhammer says:

    Nothing wrong with this Maarat piece. Wolves are fucking terrible and a good, honest shaming such as this is necessary. People need to be told that this garbage they peddle is NOT black metal.

    1. Vigilance says:

      > People need to be told that this garbage they peddle is NOT black metal.

      This is the gayest thing ever. Fussing over categories. Mount a substantive criticism against music for whatever it actually is.

  7. GGALLIN1776 says:

    Sheep in the buttsex room.

  8. Gardens of Grief Gnome says:

    Everything about this is awful.

  9. Morbideathscream says:

    Gave Wolves in the Throne Room a chance 7 or 8 years ago and after first listen I knew the band was gay pretentious hipster bullshit. My opinion has never changed.

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