Trendkillers #3: Kill Metal Kickstarters

When riding the subway in a major American city one is likely to encounter a homeless person panhandling for money.  There is usually a canned speech of sorts that may or may not sound something like this:

“Hi my name is Daniel.  I am homeless.  I lost my job, I am cold, and I am hungry with no food to eat.  Please donate whatever you can so I can eat.  God bless.”

When I see musicians and journalists advertising Kickstarter, Patreon, and other fundrasing campaigns I hear the same speech in my head.  This speech sounds something along the lines of:

“Hi my name is Daniel.  I am a musician.  I have no job, I am cold, and I am unmedicated with no Starbucks Frappacino to drink.  Please donate money so I can record a blatantly mediocre album that I will also charge you for.  I will hate you if you do not give me this money.”


Kickstarter campaigns are essentially the exact same thing as begging for money on the train.  You’re trying to get people to give money to you because they feel bad for you as it’s only out of pity that people donate to these things.  It’s however a more narcissistic form of panhandling because you’re not going to starve if you don’t release your album.

The last thing an entertainer should be doing is begging their audiance for money in an age where everything costs more and wages remaining stagnant. Furthermore, the higher quality of music is more likely to be found from a musician or writer who has to work some shitty job and fight and scratch and claw their way into earning that chance to record.  Conversely if anyone is asking for money for their blog or album they are being lazy and thus will be producing a lazy project with those funds.

In short, begging your fans for money via Kickstarter or Paetron is about the most un-metal thing you can do. Don’t be that guy.

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12 thoughts on “Trendkillers #3: Kill Metal Kickstarters”

  1. I like T H I C C RIFFS says:

    Mate as long as the RIFFS are THICC then I do not care
    Plus runtracker will hook it up :^)

  2. Deathevokation says:

    Great short succinct article.

  3. not even the first cosmic atrophy is good enough what the fuck should I do :(((((((((((((( why must we die

    1. dimensional says:

      ….what?

      1. Disregard that, I was either drunk or stoned and fretting about mortality while listening to Codex Incubo. Really great album, still holds up and everything.

  4. Dr. David Szisz says:

    audiance

  5. Cerebral Fix says:

    I agree!!

    NERGAL, return the money :/

  6. Negrew says:

    Metal musicians should be poor, smelly, and malnourished.

  7. Qwerno says:

    Nah man that’s deano. Fuxkin top cunt. He will pay you back though eh. Probably jsut nwed s a bit of a pick me up y’know I guess we all do some timez but deadset he’s goos for the money and thay i sat means lots eh

  8. Being a structural steel fabricator is a shit ass job goyim but you don’t hear me screeching autismally about it on a splatter vinyl I just get fucking drunk and whine to my Mexican friends and that’s it you know

    1. Kekin' @ur lyfe says:

      BASED as fuck brozum

    2. Solutions says:

      That is a good position to inflict sabotage.

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