J.C. Newman – Tampa Trolleys

Every review site in the world likes to review fine, nuanced cigars, but this is a metal site, so let us look at cigars with the subtlety of an axe murder on a subway car. J.C. Newman named the Tampa Trolleys after the railcars that workers would take to the last American cigar-making plant in Tampa, Florida which was known as “Cigar City USA.” Coming from one of the birthplaces of death metal, these cigars aim for a similar brutality on the smoker but have lessons to teach.

(more…)

No Comments

Tags: , , , ,

Children Of Doom by Eduardo Vitolo (2018)

In the early 1990s, once it seemed that death metal had fired off its initial salvo and lost momentum by late 1992, the record labels immediately turned to what they had next in line to keep the kids occupied, doom metal. This followed years of gradual increase in interest based on the sound that Saint Vitus and Candlemass carried on from Black Sabbath, and tried to jump over recent hardcore- and prog-rock-influenced history to return metal to its heavy rock roots.

(more…)

3 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

SJWs Attack Pestilence For Mistranslated Comment

As part of their continuing assault on metal and all other things masculine in order to humble them and make them into ideological servants of the Left, SJWs have been slinging verbal feces at Pestilence guitarist Patrick Mameli for using a common Dutch word in response to a jab online.

For some reason, Mameli has adopted Miami dreadlocks as his new style and, when a friend compared him to Milli Vanilli, the 1980s cheese-pop duo who were eventually busted for lip syncing their live concerts. Mameli responded with a simple statement: “Are you saying I’m black?”

Unfortunately, Facebook translated one word incorrectly. In Dutch, as in many European languages, “neger” means black person, just as “schwarze” means a dark person in German. Since Europe did not have the long history of civil rights warfare that the USA did, the connotation of certain similar words is not present, nor the stigma.

That did not stop the SJWs from rushing to arms and beginning to bleat for the removal of yet another quality band from the canon. However, in the end, SJWs have collectively never done anything one percent as impressive as Consuming Impulse, so it’s time for metal to shut them down.

16 Comments

Tags: , , , ,

Woodlands Fine Cigars (The Woodlands, TX)


Woodlands Fine Cigars [ map ]
582 Sawdust Rd, The Woodlands, TX 77380
281-296-0202, woodlandsfinecigars@yahoo.com

Everyone in Texas knows The Woodlands because it is the future of living in Texas: instead of a gated community, make a whole gated city just outside the sprawling disaster where people can enjoy normal suburban life without the pollution, crime, filth, disorder, noise, and existential tension of the city.
(more…)

3 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Anal Cunt Guitarist Josh Martin Dies In Freak Escalator Accident

Anal Cunt guitarist Josh Martin, known for penning a number of outrageously offensive and theatrical songs, has passed away after falling from a mall escalator and striking his head.

Those who remember Anal Cunt for their enjoyable live shows, over-the-top lyrics, and grinding chaotic composition will find themselves familiar with Martin from his work in the composition and live performance of hits from the Anal Cunt catalogue.

He died doing what he enjoyed: “clowning around.” As news reports of his death tell us:

Josh Martin, a 45-year-old guitarist with the band Anal C**t, is said to have lost his balance, fallen backwards and hit his head on a table after losing his balance while riding the escalator.

Police told local reporters that he fell one storey from the cinema level to the food court below at Providence Place Mall shortly before 11pm on Monday evening.

A report described him as ‘clowning around and riding the rail of the escalator’ and fell off as he approached the downward part of the handrail.

Martin outlived his bandmate, vocalist Seth Putnam, by seven years after Putnam died in 2011 at age 43.

We choose to remember him through his irreverent sense of humor and his work, which ranged from musical comedy to fast, grinding sonic mayhem which introduced a new generation to grindcore. A brief career retrospective follows.

And some influences:

8 Comments

Tags: , , , , , ,