Social justice warrior metalcore (formerly comedy techno grind) band Agoraphobic Nosebleed offered ass-printed yoga pants for sale at recent festival performances such as the social justice warrior and communist run California Deathfest. Yes, this is the same Agoraphobic Nosebleed whose menstruating, undergrown screamo vocalist Kat Katz slammed Death Metal Underground as “If Fox News and Lambgoat had a baby.” and claimed “this dude totally has it out for women in metal… and women in general. Yup.” What hypocrisy and exploitation of their own idiotic fanbase from the leftist z-list deathcore band unable to promote themselves on the musical strength of their terrible recorded material.
Agoraphobic Nosebleed’s first response will be “Our merchandise is about embracing your sexuality as a woman, not conforming to the patriarchy’s prude definition of femininity.” Their primary motive for this narrative of accusation and profiteering is financial though. Agoraphobic Nosebleed’s joke cybergrind on Fistful Full of Dope was not able to vault them into name recognition with more popular contemporary grind bands such as Insect Warfare and Gridlink. A new approach was needed for the mostly-unemployable members of the band to supplement their hourly-wage, entry level jobs as drive-through managers, Zamboni operators, bus boys, adult theater janitors, and that chick in every overpriced gym who wipes down the equipment to prevent the spread of methicillin-resistant staph infections. Death Metal Underground’s writers proved effective scapegoats for the band to expand their popularity among radical feminists, leftists, and communists for whom to sell them the same cash grab merchandise that every other band bereft of new material of actual worth shills. Where are the branded pipes and disposable needles?