Death Metal Underground Seeks A Motto

kitty-pipe-metal

As part of our ongoing attempts to be more like normies who like catchy lines and irrelevant banter, Death Metal Underground embarks on a disturbingly social activity for our audience, who are mostly alienated noticers living in bunkers far removed from the cities.

The site motto will be displayed prominently on pages of the site and should reflect the outlook of its audience as well as its writers. Toward that end, several have been advanced so far:

  • Sodomize the weak.
  • You Suffer (But Why?)
  • Compassion is the vice of kings: stamp down the wretched & the weak: this is the law of the strong: this is our law and the joy of the world. (Aleister Crowley, Book Of The Law)

If you have suggestions, feel free to drop them in the comments. Image submitted by a faithful reader.

149 thoughts on “Death Metal Underground Seeks A Motto”

  1. Degtyarov says:

    – Dark Funeral review pending
    – We’ll review anything! (you use this slogan as a honeytrap for gullible PR companies)
    – Sodomizing butt rock since [insert year here]
    – OJ was not guilty

    1. Black Ivory Tower should review Ungod and Dark Funeral.

    2. “Cosby is a hero”

  2. Thewaters says:

    Making Metal Great Again

    1. I like that, and it should summon armies of obese blue-haired neurotics to complain about us.

    2. Roger says:

      It’s settled, surely

  3. The fist will run
    Grasp metal to gun
    The spirit sings in crashing tones we gain the battle drum
    Our cries will shrill the air will moan and crash into the dawn
    The pen won’t stay the demon’s wings, the hour approaches
    Pounding out the Devil’s sermon

    1. Pounding out the Devil’s sermon

      Solid.

  4. El says:

    You Suffer (But Why?) is the best of the three to me

    1. I like its zen implications.

  5. Roger says:

    ‘Grab em in the pussy’

    1. Are people here having sex now? Heterosexual sex, without midgets or sheep? Far out.

  6. Baaaarp says:

    Strife is justice.

  7. Hræsvelgr says:

    “The starry sky through the sewer grating” / “Stjärnhimlen genom avloppsgallret” (Tomas Tranströmer)

    1. A bit obscure, but descriptive. Hmm.

    2. C.M. says:

      This is great, really.

  8. zobi says:

    IKEA subhumans

  9. Quidmore says:

    “The next thousand years are ours”

    1. One of the best black metal quotes.

  10. Son of the Damned says:

    * Survival of the fittest(Herbert Spencer after Darwin’s theories)

    * One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a
    star(F.W.Nietzsche,Thus spoke Zarathustra)

    * Without music, life would be a mistake(F.W.Nietzsche,Twilight of the Idols)

    * Nothing any good isn’t hard(F.S.Fitzgerald,A Life in Letters)

    * Some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new Dark Age(H.P.Lovecraft,The Call of Cthulhu)

    1. “A new dark age” has potential.

  11. zobi says:

    we had a difficult childhood

    1. Skull Powder says:

      Mine was just wonderful. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

  12. Reactionary Reasons says:

    Simple…

    “Crush your enemies. See them driven before you. Hear the lamentations of their women.” (Conan the Barbarian)

    Game. Set. Match.

    Source: https://youtu.be/6PQ6335puOc?t=23s

    1. “Crush your enemies” has a nice ring to it.

      1. It paraphrases Genghis Khan.

        1. Or “Joe Stalin 0.9b” as I like to think of him.

  13. Internatio reloaded says:

    Anus Rebirth ?

    1. Could shorten it to “anus birth.”

  14. get a brian says:

    Only death is real (duh)

    If you are a false, do not entry (duh)

    “I’ve killed this old man because he limped
    I’ve done it because he shouldn’t have to do it”
    -Celtic Frost

    “The past is alive”
    -Mayhem

    “Masturbate to kill myself”
    -Sodom

    “In Siberia I live on my own
    In a hut which is built of your bones”
    – Absurd

    “Satan watches all of us
    Smiles as some do his bidding”
    – Slayer

    “Death and destruction are necessary to the health of the world, and therefore as natural, and lovable, as birth and life. Only priests and born cowards moan and weep over dying. Brave men face it with approving nonchalance.”
    ― Ragnar Redbeard

    “Equality can only exist between equals. Civilization implies division of labor, division of labor implies subordination and subordination implies injustice and inequality.”
    -same dude

    1. “The past is alive”
      -Mayhem

      Has potential…

  15. tom g. warrior says:

    Only death is real!

    1. Only death is real!

      Catchy.

    2. ay lmao says:

      This.

  16. Johan P says:

    “Only Death (Metal) Is Real”

  17. necrofaggot says:

    sodomize the weak already is the motto

    1. Or at least the tacit ethos.

  18. Ankh says:

    Oh look, it’s another Crowley pretender.

  19. Svmmoned says:

    1. Cremate the human race
    2. Praise of death, life’s a dream
    3. What once was… again shall be! (that second part, I believe, was a sort of Hades’s response to Burzum)

    1. I like the third one.

  20. Karolis Gimbutis says:

    I have quite a simple one: SHOW NO MERCY.

    1. Catchy and familiar.

  21. SODOMIZE TEH WEAK says:

    … because gay raping a retard is preferable to dying a virgin amirite?

  22. LostInTheANUS says:

    I like Crowley’s quote as the motto the most.

    1. Vigilance says:

      Ah yes, Crowley, nothing like starting life fairly handsome and well off only to end it broke, disgraced, sodomized and decrepit looking. All for poorly performing magic and hijacking successful schools to assuage his vanity and transgressive fetishes which included rebelling against an abstraction of his parents generation.

      1. C.M. says:

        Not to mention becoming one of the greatest mountain climbers of all time and doing shitloads of drugs and publishing highly influential literature… eh fuck it.

        1. Vigilance says:

          You know what they say. You can publish impractical books and climb mountains all your life but take it up the ass one time and you’ll always be known as a fag.

          1. C.M. says:

            Ah right, I keep forgetting that crucial aphorism!

      2. Slowly We Frot says:

        THIS is a brilliant excavation of Crowley’s perpetrations!

        And this describes DMU customers: “starting life fairly handsome and well off only to end it broke, disgraced, sodomized and decrepit looking. All for poorly performing magic and hijacking successful schools to assuage his vanity and transgressive fetishes which included rebelling against an abstraction of his parents generation.”

  23. Philosophorum says:

    By Death, for Death

  24. Slowly We Frot says:

    “DMU: Power-worship by the powerless”

    1. Matt Risnes says:

      This is the most accurate and concise of the bunch.

      1. Slowly We Frot says:

        Thanks, man, I’m glad somebody appreciates it. So many niggas on here with such hate towards ‘the weak’ or whatever… they haven’t sodomised anything.

  25. Deport All Hipsters says:

    Deport all hipsters.

  26. Matt Risnes says:

    Pipe tobacco enthusiasts and the felines who reluctantly tolerate their pedantry.

  27. Shelley says:

    Only death is real. We hope you die. God is Dead. No destiny just a certainty of death. Without music life would be an error. Mighty trust crusher.

    And my personal favourite:

    If you are a false don’t entry
    The nuclear drums will crush your brain
    Because you’ll be burned and died

    1. Only death is real.

      Always good.

      1. El says:

        These three in particular are super cool

        “Only death is real. ”
        “Without music life would be an error.”
        “Mighty trust crusher. ”

        Also “The next thousand years are ours” or “By Death, for Death” as other guys said

    2. Doug Killjoy says:

      For those about to die, we salute you.

  28. GGALLIN1776 says:

    RAPE THE FALSE

  29. blue werewolf says:

    “Barbarianism is the natural state of mankind. Civilization is unnatural. It is the whim of circumstance. barbarianism must ultimately triumph”
    ― Robert E. Howard

  30. For a motto to represent metal accurately, it would have to describe the nature of the will itself, not its particulars.
    Metal is a mentality, not an ideology.
    A way to walk, not a destination.
    That is why metal can celebrate either the enslavement of the weak, or the rebellion against tyrants.

    I believe that music is the only art form capable of describing this will itself. Poetry can touch it, but it will always be bound to a specific instance of the will. One form of it.

    I hope that you can find a good motto, but I doubt it.

  31. Parasite says:

    Fuck the motto ,I want to pet Brett’s pussy.

  32. Vigilance says:

    Clearly Power From Hell:

    For the street he walks lonely
    To look extreme and the appropriate look
    With army boots vest and leather pants
    And visual of painted Bathory the hand

    And the slogan is
    Fuck a lot woman
    To drink until
    And only to hear, the true metal…….

    Meanwhile the place is full,
    He stands out for the heavy look
    It rolls a sound of Venom in the frequency
    In pentagram that he shows the difference

    Choice lyrics

  33. Memoncy - Joined in Dankness says:

    Music Among the Ruins

    Metal Macht Frei

    Death to False Metal

    Got Sodomy?

    The Net’s Oldest and Longest Running Autist Hookup Site

  34. squishy crackers that got rained on says:

    we’re here, we’re queer…

    1. …we use Apple products…

      1. squishy crackers that got rained on says:

        YOU DO@!?

  35. Bloz says:

    Sanity is for the weak
    when the wicked are the chosen
    and blessed are the sick

  36. Rainer Weikusat says:

    Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch’intrate

    I’m not a human, this is just a dream and soon I will awake.

    1. I kind of like that.

  37. GGALLIN1776 says:

    Rosenberg <3's bukkake

  38. Look into my anus. Anybody seen winky? That’s not really a motto so much as a search bar reference for the nodule hunter.

    1. Skull Powder says:

      If you gaze long into the anus, the anus winks back at you.

  39. snaggletooth says:

    Vision from the DarkSide.

    1. hessian hex says:

      StarWarts: Revenge of the Brown-eyed Clones.

  40. Baaaarp says:

    I hate these woods
    Where there is no danger
    No wolf
    No bear
    No troll
    No evil spirits
    Nothing
    Only the night and me – only the night and me
    A night I shall journey
    To Hell

    1. Slowly We Frot says:

      Just narrow it down to ‘No mosh/no core/no bear/no wolf’

  41. Cynical says:

    “Problems remain.”

    1. A classic metal quote and a strong contender. Also another benefit: short!

      1. Slowly We Frot says:

        What is that quote from?

        1. OnlyInDeath says:

          Sepultura

          “Religious intervention / Problems remain! / Under a pale gray sky we shall arise”

  42. “Tell the truth and reign in Hell.” or “To tell the truth and reign in Hell.”

    1. 1349 says:

      Good sounding

  43. Phil says:

    Stupidity
    Has won too much
    The hopeless soul keeps mating

  44. 2^1024 says:

    Why not have a pool of mottoes befitting the ideology of this site and display a random one every 24 hours or so?

    1. EL says:

      Or even everytime you load a page
      I like this idea

  45. Hræsvelgr says:

    Væ victis! (Woe to the defeated!)

    Nec spe, nec metu (Without hope, without fear)

  46. wldklwkdl says:

    DEATH IS CERTAIN; LIFE IS NOT

  47. Anndra says:

    any early darkthrone lyrics would suffice:

    “in the shadow of the horns”
    “be the hammer”
    “We are a Blaze in the Northern Sky / The next thousand Years Are OURS”

    or perhaps more controversially:

    “The Norse race must slaughter the other / When niggers pound too heavily on our door”

  48. Anndra says:

    “beholding the throne of might”?

  49. Internatio reloaded says:

    – “Guns, Guitars and Gas”
    – “Teufel mit uns”
    – “One Texas, one metal community, one slave-driver”

    – “An axe to grind” might do too.

  50. Morbideathscream says:

    Only the strong survive…

    The Return…of the Darkness and Evil

    The Dying Truth

    Might is Right

    Beyond the Nothingness

  51. Facelessones says:

    “Our technologies improve, but do we?”

  52. Pepe says:

    REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

  53. matia says:

    “Merging with the past”

    Guess where is that comin from :P

  54. Orogenesis says:

    “Lest we forget our warrior’s vow
    And leave our arms at rest”

    Averse Sefira, Deathymn

    1. Facelessones says:

      I love this band

  55. Orogenesis says:

    “Witness to an endless storming cosmos
    Casting towards the cold empty beyond”

    Averse Sefira, Refractions of an Unexploded Singularity.

    Warrior. Poet. Sanguine.

  56. Hræsvelgr says:

    • Only Brett is real!

    • Asperger’s or GTFO!

    1. ^_^ says:

      Assburgers of the world unite!

  57. thomasw says:

    Trampling down death by death!

  58. Count Ringworm says:

    “Autism Speaks”

    “Hitler did nothing wrong”

  59. Mormegil says:

    A fist in the face of god.

    Eat the posers’ guts.

    1. C.M. says:

      “A fist in the face of god” is really good but better as a tagline than a motto, if you ask me. Which you didn’t. So take that… or don’t.

  60. “Life just fucks with my head.”

  61. Abominable Goatpenis says:

    “Only limited edition pink vinyl is real”

    “You are all very gay”

    “Pleasures of the ANUS”

    “Crowley is an overrated cracka”

    “Living Colour Is My Favorite Black Metal Band”

    “All hail our lord and emperor Bertt Semens”

    1. Goat-Lord says:

      Fuck off back to MetalSucks, foreskin gobbler.

      1. Abominable Goatpenis says:

        Your resistance only makes my flared goatpenis harder. Submit to the sodomator!

  62. thewaters says:

    How about this: “Let’s find out!”

  63. Goat-Lord says:

    -Shun the Light, embrace the Underground.

    -Fuck off & die.

    Couple of good’uns I reckon…

  64. HH says:

    Falconsbane ist Krieg!

  65. thomasw says:

    finem respice

    “consider the end, aim, telos”

  66. Syphilis says:

    -Satan, guide my cock!

    -Crush, kill, destroy!

    -Resistance is futile

    -Nothing better than some male-on-male bonding

    -Legalize drugs, rape and murder

    -Justify your existence

  67. KRK says:

    We die alone.

  68. 1349 says:

    Maybe a rephrase of this?
    “It’s not the world that is cruel; it’s you who’s weak and helpless.”

    Or…
    “Will trumps all.” =)
    “Hail Satan, our king.” /* A satanist and monarchist idea at the same time. */
    “Be a hammer in the face of gods.” /* Anti-religious and a bit socialist (national-socialist?) because of the hammer symbol. */

    Also i might say that if i wanted someone to develop a motto i would probably write a kind of “product requirements document”. =) What is the motto to convey? How long should it be, what language should it be in, what phonetics should it strive for; should its vocabulary be for the educated or for proles…

  69. Mormegil says:

    Bang that head that doesn’t bang.

  70. I sentence you to says:

    Death by sodomy

    1. Count Ringworm says:

      Shitposting aside, this is a good one.

      1. Count Ringworm says:

        Ignore that, I suck cocks.

  71. Baron Blood says:

    “In morte veritas.”

    1. Count Ringworm says:

      Shitposting aside, this is a good one.

  72. Jerry Hauppa says:

    Slightly hopeful but hints at what death metal does to our argumentative nature here-
    Death…Is Just the Beginning
    I miss those comps.

    1. Memetic warfare (mighty keyboard warrior) says:

      There’s no arguments heee, just slogans

  73. Kev says:

    Elitism is neither right nor wrong, it is simply necessary.

  74. IAmTheBlackMages says:

    All your metal are belong to us.

  75. Roger says:

    I second ‘MAKE METAL GREAT AGAIN’

      1. #DeportAllDeathcoreBandsToCanada

  76. squishy crackers that got rained on says:

    black eyes, can’t breathe

  77. Tastee freezes says:

    “the fire in my heart and my burning soul, you ain’t nothing to me but a dick sucking hole” -gg

  78. pieherido says:

    We are what looks back at you from the Abyss

  79. canadaspaceman says:

    – – Death After Death

    – – Death is only the beginning!!!

  80. Internatio reloaded says:

    – Viva la muerte !

    death, vir, the noble spanish language that seems in favor around here, and a fuckin’ cool historical reference by your own standards.

  81. go kitties lol yay says:

    “We love de kitties so much”

  82. Golgotha says:

    Spreading pink eye since 98′

    1. Is “pink eye” the new slang for HIV? Because this is a rectal sex (correct term) hookup site.

    2. Syphilis says:

      Sharing is caring

      Spread it to spread it

  83. Cornrose says:

    Abandon hope all ye who enter here

  84. Axl Rosenberg's Virginity says:

    “We Hate Everything We Hear”

    “We Bring You the Underground (And Trash It In Our Reviews Section)”

    “Your Band Sucks”

  85. ChangeOfSeas says:

    “Desperta Ferro”

    “Sathanas Vult”

    “Erwache!”

    “Shove Your Slave Morality Up Your Fucking Loser Ass”

  86. harsh critiquer of vest patcheses says:

    Wake Up, Time To Die

  87. Genocidal solution says:

    “You Suffer (But Why?)”

    Let them suffer.

    Human idiocy has no bounds.

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