Metallica Spreads Hepatitis A

Metallica fans contracted Hepatitis A following the band’s show in San Diego, California.

Zombie-like swarms of jaundiced homeless people are spreading the debilitating and sometimes fatal liver disease around the city. Over 370 people have been hospitalized and twenty have perished. Only eleven of those were homeless.

Hepatitis A is spread by ingesting the feces of an infected person. Homeless people are notoriously unhygienic. They never wash their hands after defecating and constantly engage in oral-fecal contact. The disease is also common among homosexuals for the same reason.

San Diego of course has not stopped this raging epidemic that city authorities have been aware of for months. Pussy-footed Californians are more interested in whining about the imaginary than solving problems. Constitutional rights, human rights, and the right of the homeless to take a crap on the sidewalk, on the beach, or in your food are not real; they are conceptions. Americans and Frenchmen made them up. Hepatitis A is real and turns people into the yellow guy from Sin City. Hordes of infected crazy junkie vagrants covered in shit are very, very real.

The solution for the city is to dispose of the bums from a distance. It’s not safe to touch them. Flamethrowers would provide an easy, sanitary solution. That will not happen as San Diego is in California. California will just move the infected bums to a previously uninfected middle to upper class neighborhood. Residents will move away and housing prices will plummet. That’s their plan. The neighborhood will then be safe for crackhouses and illegal squatters who politicians can mobilize on election day.

Yes American readers, your vote counts just as much as a shit-covered, disease-spreading schizophrenic junkie’s. The politicians prefer those anyway; critically thinking individuals are a threat to their power. They want to wreck functional societies and steal what remains intact. This is what happens in banana republics and the eastern block, which is what American elected officials want to turn the United States into.

Metallica similarly wants to rape their fans’ wallets. Metallica fans are walking marks. Metallica constantly sells them a bunch of crap they will never listen to. Now Metallica is being generous enough to giving them Hepatitis A with the purchase of concert tickets!

Hessians should avoid Metallica and quarantine their fans. Hessians should probably flee from the homeless too. If absolutely forced to engage them, only used ranged weaponry, i.e. rocks, slingshots, and hubcaps. Sharpened Metallica CDs thrown like Xena: Warrior Princess‘s frisbee would work great too. Remember her in Spartacus?

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25 thoughts on “Metallica Spreads Hepatitis A”

  1. GGALLIN1776 says:

    Rocks & slingshots? Oh wait…yea commiefornia. I was gonna say here in America we shoot, but good luck getting a gun (legally) in aids land.

    1. 1917 or Die says:

      California has a lot of population, so you can find a lot of people with aids, but if you look on a per county level, some counties in Georgia and Virginia, have high rates too…

  2. national geographic nipples says:

    and liberals turn another American city into a tiny third world country.

    1. JohnnyReb says:

      What’s funny, in a fucked up kind of way, is when they complain how their city has changed, move to a red state, and vote it into third world status.

      1. What’s funny, in a fucked up kind of way, is when they complain how their city has changed, move to a red state, and vote it into third world status.

        If by funny you mean excruciating and predictable, yes, it is.

        Humans: always chasing their own doom.

        1. JohnnyReb says:

          Excruciating and predictable indeed. But as predictable as it is, it’s still difficult to believe that it will continue to happen. How long before Virginia becomes a sanctuary state? Let’s find out!

      2. some sperg on the internet says:

        THE ETERNAL CALIFORNIAN

      3. huhuh says:

        Talk about getting blueballs.

  3. neutronhammer says:

    Haha

  4. McEvola "crap they will never listen to like that Hardwired album" says:

    A band from a different time. Even Slayer shows were becoming nogged during Load/Reload. Now only ildjarn is real and Sort Vokter is probably the last truly great metal album.

  5. McEvola "rape is great" says:

    If I were diseased I’d at least do my part and rape these people to death. What a bunch of fags.

  6. Angry Black Chair says:

    True hessians eat their own feces mixed with engine oil and horse semen. What else is more manly?

    1. Tigerland says:

      More Manly. Try eating durians without removing their shells… The only animals that can do that are Elephants…

  7. neutronhammer says:

    Maybe Metallica should do single plus T-Shirt package on world Hepatitis day next year? and donate the proceeds to the treatment of poor homosexuals of San Diego, preferably to those individuals engaged in street art and the like.

  8. Negro Jew says:

    I enjoyed watching Xena get naked in just about every episode of that Spartacus show. That show was awesome.

    1. Tigerland says:

      Hmmm….. Being a negro jew… You should be watching woopie Goldberg or Yaphet Kotto… That’s more apt

  9. Rainer Weikusat says:

    Something which has so far affected 0.04% of the population of San Diego isn’t exactly »a raging epidemic« and one can assume that this is more a case of the hallowed, American tradition of “Why the fuck should we spent money on something as unimportant as that?” than a communist conspiracy. Especially if most of the affected are homeless and/or junkies and the disease itself is usually harmless (the NHS claims a mortality rate of 0.4% if untreated for previously healthy people).

    Brilliant quote:

    According to county health officials, at least 17 food-service workers have been infected so far. Besides the case at World Famous, the county has not notified the public of food service worker infections. Officials say the other cases were not publicized because the infection was not identified in time for exposed members of the public to protect themselves with a vaccine.

    For »the case at the World Famous«, the county seems to have issued a public health warning quoting the shift times of the affected individual (or individuals).

    1. neutronhammer says:

      Aldaaa bleib Mal locker

      1. Rainer Weikusat says:

        Das Deutsch nimmt Dir keiner ab.

  10. canadaspaceman says:

    James supposedly is more HARD right wing than Nugent, and Alex Jones, and all these fakes, James is a PURE, REAL American.
    If he actually said everything on his mind, the band would be dead over night.
    But why should james? If it was me, and I seen how the goyim run around and attack truthseekers, I would keep making money and ignore the bullshit.

    1. Jaymz = recognizes that democracy, diversity, equality, and universalism are bullshit.

      Going to pull tubes with the dude some day.

      1. Dispirited says:

        Hetfield is a centrist, he doesn’t recognize the right wing/left wing divide or bullshit of politics. He has nothing to do with the mental retardation that is Alex Jones.

        1. Syphilis says:

          I doubt his views go much farther than “muh jerbs” either way.

  11. Dispirited says:

    Go kill yourself Titus Pullo. You’re trying to be smart by taking this anecdotal fact that those guys interviewed in the article went to see a Metallica concert then linking it to how Metallica have sold out and supposedly being a fan of them is like having Hepatitis A. I hope that one day you will read your piece and laugh at how moronic this is.

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