Sadistic Metal Reviews: 8-7-2016

tv boring old people to death

Article by David Rosales.

Perfection is in the balance and in the details! These works possess neither balance nor detail.

oldmoon disbelieve
Oldmoon – Disbelieve (2015)
Oldmoon es Indie doom rock bastante aburrido y poco original. Probablemente tenga algo que ver con que el tema ateo y más social es tan ajeno al metal. Donde el metal es místico y supra humano, el rock es lastimero y se centra en el drama humano. Oldmoon pertenece al segundo de estos.

Recomendación: evitar. Mejor escuchen NEUROSIS Más Allá de la Demencia a todo volumen en un espacio abierto con su estimulante preferido.

Editor’s English translation: Lame.

Abigail - The Final Damnation - cover
Abigail – The Final Damnation (2016)
This is yet another Japanese pseudo metal product that exemplifies the extent to which their culture has allowed an embarrassingly superficial cesspool to invade and infest their spirit. Rejecting their spiritual past and embracing hamburger culture along with industrial decadence to its last consequences in the death of the human soul, Japan consistently manages in pouring forth the most nonsensical pseudo art on the face of the planet. This album being no exception, , it is a collection of miscellaneous metal tropes from different epochs, advertising itself as black metal from which it takes absolutely nothing, not even the faintest glimmer of immitation. In any event, we could label this as rough Glam metal of the poorest stripe.

What could millenial Japanese posers possibly know of Western blasphemy produced from adversarial points of view? Could they even imagine the terror of the exoteric Satanic pathos and the metaphysical dephs of its esoteric underbelly when explored through its authentic tradition? Such catastrophic confusion is reflected in the winky-kinky succession of riffs and sections which have nothing to do with each other. Furthermore, the interaction beetween instruments is a messy ball of teenage hormones with no heads or tales. This was not put together by metal musicians, in any case, there is not even a trace of underground metal style here. The spirit is that of goofy rock, the expression that of glam metal trying to play Metallica.

“Underground” does not, at this point, mean a particular means of art production, nor the attempt to “be” something other than mainstream; it does not mean you steal attitudes and act like an idiot. The underground metal movement was so called at a certain point because of definite reasons which no longer apply to almost any modern band. What remains is a tradition, a way of doing things, a way of thinking. This joke of a band and their utterly disgusting album have none of these elements; and they certainly do not understand the first thing about the underground. Why would any serious band choose the name of a girl as their representation? Little clues such as this give away much more than one would normally assume.

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40 thoughts on “Sadistic Metal Reviews: 8-7-2016”

  1. “Why would any serious band choose the name of a girl as their representation?”

    Bathory was a woman.

    1. David Rosales says:

      Nah,nah.
      Using “girl” here as the name of a type of creature, so to speak.

      BATHORY was a wicked, serial-killing, demon-summoning, mistress of the night.
      Bathory was not “a girl”.

      1. I haven’t looked in to the matter, but how do we know that there wasn’t some evil woman named Abigail?

        1. Hræsvelgr says:

          Salem witch trials. They don’t have search engines where you live?

          1. Necronomeconomist says:

            …says yet another smart-aleck Scandinavian. These niggas think they’re geniuses.

      2. Rainer Weikusat says:

        Scaled down to domestic proportions, this sounds awfully like my last girl-fiend.

        1. LostInTheANUS says:

          “girl-fiend” I hope that actually wasn’t a typo.

    2. LostInTheANUS says:

      That’s true that it’s named after a woman, but Bathory is a last name.

  2. Billy Foss says:

    I assumed they took their name from the King Diamond album.

    1. David Rosales says:

      And such a careless decision resulting in an awkward name for an underground metal band gives us a clear warning.

  3. pompous midget says:

    winky-kinky?

  4. Ggallin1776 says:

    Let me guess,they put out cassette tapes.

  5. Rainer Weikusat says:

    Something for a chuckle:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CI4I68UMaQo

    [debut video of ‘death metal soupgroup’ Sinsaenum (feat. original Slipknot drummer and a cast of other clones)]

    1. C.M. says:

      Even worse than Dragonfarce and Lipsnot, who were at least honest about being alternative rock.

      1. Rainer Weikusat says:

        There’s also a review for this (Terrorizer 273) which roughly runs like


        […] Sinsaenum grabs your attention immediately […]. With Leclerq as principal song writer and visionary, the sextett hammers and churns out sleek, formulaic, wondefully blasphemous death metal […] It’s not unlike Bloodbath where veteran musicians get together to have some fun and wind up putting together a credible record […] It’s as catchy as it’s intense.

        I assume DMU hates Bloodbath but stating that stylistic similarities between the two don’t exactly suggest themselves is hopefully ok. Anything else in this text (and the unabridged version is even worse) is just a string of meaningless and even displaced endorsement vocables (“catchy”?).

    2. Necronomeconomist says:

      This is NOT funny. It’s blackened death ‘n roll, complete with niggas making signs of ‘slit your throat’ and ‘I’m going crazy’. The drummer is wearing a leather jacket. One of the singers (yes, plural) is in a Sgt Pepper military waistcoat. The chorus proclaims them to be an army of chaos, yet their shit is utterly orderly and predictable.
      I miss the days when metalheads were recalcitrant ugly motherfuckers, wearing longsleeve all-over print full-color ‘Mental Funeral’ t-shirts, even ‘Tomb of the Mutilated’ t-shirts, patently gross and offensive. Unlike nowadays, these niggas in matching well-moistened leather jackets, post-crustpunk post-hardcore with occultic/runic greyscale t-shirts. Fuck whatever you call this band… Sinissemenous?

    1. fenrir says:

      Sabbat Darkness And Evil -> DERIVATIVE EMPTY IMMITATION and ppor songwriting
      Randy Uchida Group -> Are you serious? Run of the mill anime glam metal?

      LADYBABY -> ok, you are a confirmed troll
      デスラビッツ -> HAHAHAHAHAHAHA you made my day

    2. Fearless Christian Killer 666 says:

      Haha. For better Japanese metal I would recommend the Mortalized discography compilation that was released last month (it’s on Bandcamp). They were a grindcore band that Gridlink’s guitarist was in.

      1. C.M. says:

        Cool, thanks. I like DA so will check this out. A few minutes of listening have me interested.

        Evidently Mortalized doesn’t have their own bandcamp but the collection is available here…. https://blastasfuk.bandcamp.com/album/complete-mortality

      2. pompous midget says:

        Thanks for the heads up. Gridlink was great.

        1. Fearless Christian Killer 666 says:

          Yes, that’s the one.

  6. Hræsvelgr says:

    Aha! This article confirms a long-time suspicion of mine: you’re not allowed to be a DMU writer if you like girls.

    1. Rainer Weikusat says:

      As demonstrated above, people who »like girls« in the sense you probably mean that, IOW, react to them like a dog to a bitch in heat, are usually not capable of remembering more than half of a polysyllabic term like Abigail
      Williams
      . This makes them unlikely candidates for authoring anything. They also don’t know how to operate search enginges,

      P: First , please introduce in the name Abigail and Barbatos something band formad of the band and what ‘s difference for it?
      Y: ABIGAIL is evil feamale name and BARBATOS is lucifer name. ABIGAIL taken from KING DIAMOND 2nd LP. I love this album very much. I think ABIGAIL is very fit our sound. BARBATOS is my old infernal name

      http://www.hellsheadbangers.com/ABIGAILinterMAELSTROM.html

      1. C.M. says:

        This guy needs to get laid pronto. I recommend not coming to DMU for the next 6 months to facilitate getting your dick wet.

        1. Grand Phallus says:

          I’ve got a few spare ladyboys in my dungeon.

    2. C.M. says:

      Little slow aintcha? I like that. *gropes ur butt nonchalantly*

    3. Zzzzz says:

      Thinking a simple English girl’s first name is not appropriate for a respectable metal band is really not correlated with “liking/disliking girls”.

      1. Hræsvelgr says:

        Of course it is: “Little clues such as this give away much more than one would normally assume.”

        1. Rainer Weikusat says:

          You’re wrong: »-().,.,,,,.,.??-.,.,,.,.””,,,””;..,,.;.?.«

          [That’s also a random excerpt from the text, namely, all punctuation characters]

        2. fenrir says:

          Haha
          Come on…

  7. cornrose says:

    Let’s get raped.

    1. Necronomeconomist says:

      Okay cornrose. Consider yourself responded to.

  8. Can you survive the blitzkrieg says:

    Do Japanese ladies sound like they’re being brutally raped while being made tender love to like in porn? Anyone here make that conquest?

    1. OliveFox says:

      Korean girls do.

      Well, at least the ones that I brutally raped did.

      1. canadaspaceman says:

        are you the tentacles I always see in crazy asian porn?
        You freak me out! go back under the sea!
        Lovecraft should never had summoned you!

      2. Asians huh... says:

        LOL.
        Even in pre-penetration phase consensual relations.

  9. Horst says:

    Is that Aus der Reihe Derrick on TV?

Comments are closed.