Only the flames can purify these rehashed and generic sinners.
Daat – There Are None So Blind As Those That Will Not See (2016)
Daat attempt to blend the dissonance of later Gorguts and Deathspell Omega back into actual black metal. The problem is the three songs on this EP are riff salads and half the riffs sound like something from an early Amon Amarth album back when Gothenburg bands imitated Enslaved in addition to Iron Maiden. The Gothenburg riffs, breakdowns, and cop out fade outs instead of actual conclusions leave me wanting to listen to better releases. Squirting sriracha on a hamburger from Wendy’s doesn’t change that you’re eating fast food from Wendy’s and will still be crying on the crapper ninety minutes later.
ThrOes – This Viper Womb (2016)
Metallica riffs made into noisy metalcore. This is what someone who loves Korn would think is good death metal. ThrOes (sic) should be tossed into a snake pit as their fathers should’ve worn rubbers over their vipers. Post-natal abortion is the only solution.
Advermix – Pandeathmic (2016)
Advermix are musically retarded. Rethrashed speed metal was old a decade ago. Advermix missed the Destruction, Kreator, Metallica, and Megadeth “comebacks” by fifteen years. On Pandeathmic, they stick their chubby fingers in the loose assholes of all your Eighties favorites: Slayer, Artillery, Celtic Frost, and Metallica before they were a joke. Fuck these guys. Sodomize them on bayonets like Gaddafi. Has anyone ever noticed that Gaddafi looked like Mr. Hands, the guy that got fucked to death by a horse? What a coincidence.