Mocking Human Panic, Heavy Metal Record Labels Promote COVID-19 Sales

While most of the world drools in panic at the fear that nature has finally engineered an appropriate comeuppance for humanity (namely, drowning in mucus) heavy metal and underground metal record labels have offered to keep our economy minimally functional through a series of sales on evil and antisocial metal music.

Moribund Records led the pack by endorsing “mass infection” with its Covid-19 branded sale

We remain Open and Spreading The Black / Death Metal Plague through the global Covid-19 pandemic scare \m/. Order your own weapons of mass infection Now and support The Metal Scene and Indie business!

Please find our March 2020 webstore update #3 with our Covid 30% OFF SALE. Sale Extended to April 9th, 2020 @ Midnight P.S.T. (7-Days-Only) – The Moribund Records Cult Covid-19 Relief Program !!!

Simply Enter Coupon Code: Sin30 at check-out or in your basket!

You can take advantage of this one at the Moribund Cult store.

In other regions, Hammerheart Records is offering tshirts at a little over $5 apiece, available at the Covid-19 tshirt store.

As metal contemplates leaving behind the ugly metalcore/shoegaze days, the resurgence of classic metal proves to labels that this is worth supporting, giving them incentive to sign on some of the better bands from the underground, and therefore exerting natural selection pressures on the underground itself.

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14 thoughts on “Mocking Human Panic, Heavy Metal Record Labels Promote COVID-19 Sales”

  1. RDS says:

    This is funny but Moribund has been doing a 20-30% off sale literally every other week for at least 6 or 7 years now

  2. Cornhole Leftlovers says:

    Fact check: Humans engineered the virus. Specifically the Chinese.

    Hopefully this paranoiac zeitgeist gives us some good metal though. Shit has sucked since the Cold War “ended”.

    1. Saturn Into Aquarius says:

      Think the best of the 60s and the 90s…

  3. Yes says:

    “Panic”? Wishful thinking, much?

    People in general are bored, not scared.

  4. Birkenhain says:

    Grab a shirt and listen to

  5. bark says:

    that’s cute and all, maybe a reality check is in order… Everyone has sales, and giving away apps and shit for free, because everyone is home loitering about.

    Could you guys maybe go back to writing about metal music?

    1. Eucalyptis And Pine says:


      1. woof woof says:


  6. Harry, the guy with a tattoo on his face says:

    Look at these pussies!
    More retards that think a flimsy mask will protect them from a plague.
    Either this COVID-19 is really fuckin’ dangerous and there is not much anyone can do to prevent getting it, and no poisonous vaccine will ever help either, or it is the biggest con job since 9/11.
    …and if these guys were “joking” by wearing the masks, then they are just a bunch of fags.

    1. Pepito says:

      Thank you. No die

      You small dick? You die.

  7. Pepito says:

    You big dick?

    If you no big dick. You die

    1. Harry, the guy with a tattoo on his face says:

      As in the mouthed words by Tony Schiavone on AEW from the Jericho cruise, and not audibly heard on air, when a slut like you said the same kinda bullshit,
      “WHAT THE FUCK ?”
      do you want to see my dick to suck it? ya faggitalopolis ? is that it? as I don’t understand.
      Today is my something or other anniversary of not being sober …
      um, The local head shop going out of business due to covid bullshit.
      by the way
      You all may hate Trump, but he did NOT lie about anything in his speech the other day, and showed/listed about what the democrats blocked him, and THEN they blamed him for “not doing enough” on this “crisis”.

      1. whatever forever says:

        i just dont care

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