SAD! MetalSucks Flagrantly Plagiarizes Death Metal Underground

They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but such is not true when it’s done by a fat, zit-faced loser with fedora tattoos who calls himself “Emperor Rhombus.”  Because right now, plastered on the MetalSucks front page at the time of this writing, is a ridiculously obvious rip off of an editorial I did just a month ago.  Seriously, the damn thing is worse than when Nile blatantly stole the melody from the Candlemass song “Well of Souls” in their “Unas Slayer of the Gods” mess of a track.  Hell, it’s even worse than that top hat wearing Dimmu Borgir keyboardist replicating the piano from Magnum’s “Sacred Hour” and using it as the intro for Stormblast. But I guess that when your life is regulated to creeping out young girls at Selena Gomez concerts with your virgin-tier Electric Wizard shirt, you’re bound to spend much of your days fantasizing about being a true alpha badass like Brock Dorsey.

I was considering filing a lawsuit against MetalSucks over this plagiarism, but then I remembered that the overpriced Greenwich Village guitar shop owned by Matt Umanov (Ben/Vince Neilstein’s father) recently went out of business because his failure-in-life son couldn’t man up and take on the family business.  Nope, Ben/Vince instead chose the path of using his site’s millions of web hits to promote communist ideology and not his family’s dying business.  So in light of this, I decided not to put this family through any more misery that they are already enduring through their piece of shit offspring’s life choices.

Rhombus, if you’re gonna try to copy me, you can start by not being a fatass and getting your ass into the gym.  Next, learn how to talk to women in a way that doesn’t leave them feeling immensely creeped out.  After that, get a pseudonym that does not guarantee your permanent virginity (I know you look like a Rhombus, but you don’t need to remind the public of it every time they read your bullshit whinings).  Then, find a real metal website to write for — one that won’t make you consume copious amounts of soy and adapt to whatever feminized mainstream progressive values are in style.  And finally (and most importantly), fall on your face and beg the Lord for forgiveness, because it’s going to take a shitload of miracles to clean up your mess of a life!

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19 thoughts on “SAD! MetalSucks Flagrantly Plagiarizes Death Metal Underground”

  1. Oaf of Black Blood says:

    btw, where stole Dimmu top hat fgt stole Sorgens Kammer stole from?

    1. Korrektor says:

      This is a very coherently stated observation. Thanks for the input!

  2. Marc Defranco says:

    You guys really need to start using or a similar site so these schlubs stop getting web traffic from here

    1. Brock Dorsey says:

      I considered it, but I really wanted to make sure that they got an alert about this article linking to them

      1. Marc Defranco says:

        Ah I see makes sense

  3. Viscount Trapezoid says:

    The Lord shall smite them. Unfortunately, YHWH cannot kill their firstborn sons as they would first have to have copulate with a human female.

  4. neutronhammer says:

    is that really that Rhombus twat i the picture? there are few sights worse than a pasty, overweight Jew in a stoner rock shirt.

    1. Charles Stuart says:

      Does it really matter who it is in the picture? They’re all pretty much interchangeable pieces of tofurkey shit.

  5. fenrir says:

    He does have a point: If you want to make black metal dangerous, and you consider yourself an enemy of the modern liberal world, then your whining about shows being cancelled or being attacked by “domestic terrorists” ANTIFA only shows how much of a poser you are.

    Man up, as he says, organize your own SA, play privately / group / sect funded shows in basements, bunkers, etc. Be ready to beat the shit out of ANTIFA, manipulate/bribe the police, or anything you need to do to keep it going.

    1. Disciple of Brockery says:

      BM bands that play live are posing, wannabe cockstars anyway. Except Beherit obviously.

  6. Svmmoned says:

    Hey, what’s with all this talk about Ihsahn being racist?

  7. NWN War Metal Tranny Rapist says:

    These fags are shemales!

  8. canadaspaceman says:

    she has nice boobs

  9. Bork Dopey says:

    Don’t flatter yourself, you’re most likely as omega as Rhombus.

  10. Blobby says:

    Seriously, the record reviews here are absolutly great, but every time I bump into a news it’s all about whining, bitching and crying. Grow up. No one cares.

  11. LostInTheANUS says:

    You know your site is shit if you have to copy Brock “Suck My Cock” Dorsey articles. By the way Brock, when the fuck are you coming back to see the boys in the bath house? We haven’t seen you in almost a month now. We’ve got a new regular too, a burly Russian bodybuilder. I’m sure you’d love to meet him.

  12. GGDD says:

    metalsucks, metalinjection, invisibleoranges, toiledovhell, decibel, blabbermouth, pitchfork.. ALL JOOS, ALL THE TIME.

    1. retard says:

      But dmu is totally kosher too, wake up sheeple

    2. Viscount Trapezoid says:

      It is every young girl’s dream to be interviewed by a pudgy Jew with a triangle microphone.

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