It is time to put the piss-poor recommendations of these bonzos to bed. Forever.
Dead Congregation – Promulgation of the Fall (2014)
Dead Congregation have no reason to be on the list of “Incantaclones” and Dark Descent Records style “caverncore” bands. The Bandcamp writers are just deaf. Dead Congregation riff in the style of Immolation but without anything like Bob Vigna’s overarching virtuosic leads that provide narrative and properly conclude all the compositions. Leads on Promulgation of the Fall are rather mostly in the style of Hanneman & King so the tracks outcomes are based mostly on how well Dead Congregation fit the chromatic riffs together. Unlike the rest of the crap reviewed here, Promulgation of the Fall starts out by charging forward and successfully transitions into an effective doom track. Unfortunately Dead Congregation cannot successfully maintain such initiative and frequently stumble into stoner doom interludes and bridges that hinder the occasionally superb riff phrasing and mask sloppy transitions between riffs. When Promulgation of the Fall successfully moves forward melodically, it’s inspired; when it fails, it’s bouncy and boring. This CD is certainly not worth anyone committing suicide over and is the only one here worth bothering to listen to at all.
Incantation – Profane Nexus (2017)
Incantation are playing too cheerful sounding speed metal for compulsive collectors, autists, and the funderground. It’s time to stop releasing new records. Incantation jumping off the roof of a parking garage until their brains splatter out on asphalt wouldn’t be a bad idea for Incantation’s legacy. The band would certainly see an uptick in record sales.
Father Befouled – Desolate Gods (2017)
Father Befouled use Incantation licks as hooks in stoner doom deathcore for retards. Jump off the roof of a parking garage repeatedly until your brains splatter out on asphalt.
Grave Miasma – Endless Pilgrimage (2016)
Vocally-driven chugging wallpaper death ‘n’ roll for Wernicke-Korsakoff sufferers. Jump off the roof of a parking garage until your brains splatter out on asphalt.
Blood Incantation – Starspawn (2016)
Take Cynic. Strip out all the instrumental virtuosity, creativity, and speed until you have deathcore made by idiots high off from sniffing Axe deodorant body spray. Shill it to scenesters who want to socialize to guitar noodling. Get outta here with this House of Blues crap. Jump off the roof of a parking garage until your brains splatter out on asphalt.
Grave Upheaval – (No title) (2013)
Wall paper chromatic chugging ambient music for BDSM clubs. Not metal at all. Jump off the roof of a parking garage repeatedly until your brains splatter out on asphalt.
Portal – Vexovoid (2013)
Portal’s music always sounds like their mother is vacuuming the basement during their band practices. Jump off the roof of a parking garage repeatedly until your brains splatter out on asphalt.
Tags: bandcamp, blood incantation, boring, dead congregation, death metal, deathcore, encoffination, Father Befouled, Grave Miasma, grave upheaval, incantation, Portal, poseurs, sadistic metal reviews, stoner doom, stoner rock