Sammath Introduces Worldwide Texas Tour 2024

Searing martial black metal band Sammath introduced its “Texas is the Reason” Worldwide Texas Tour today, plotting dates across Texas early next year to terrify and delight audiences with its brand of technical but mystical metal.

Fresh on the heels of its militant album Grebbeberg, the band intends to raise absolute chaos with its refined take on its gritty but melodic approach to black metal by playing songs from its first to most recent albums.

So far, tourdates have been announced as follows:

Hope to see you there… under the sign of the black mark.

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48 thoughts on “Sammath Introduces Worldwide Texas Tour 2024”

  1. I wanna fuck 100 black metal chicks

    And kill the following bands with a hammer

    Korn
    Slipknot
    Icp
    Necro
    Ill bill
    Matthew McConaughey
    Marilyn Manson
    Otep but rape her
    Terrie b but rape her
    Kittie but rape them

    Rape all white virgins!!!!

    1. And kill the following bands with a hammer

      Korn
      Slipknot
      Icp

      That is hard to argue with, but I would rather just sell them to the Arabs.

    2. travis says:

      Paging Based Department

  2. Death and Ta(e)xe(a)s says:

    “Worldwide Texas Tour”
    Is Texas like a disease that its spreading worldwide?

    1. There may be a reference to not entirely distant history in there:

      Launched in support of their 1975 album, Fandango!, the Worldwide Texas Tour was ZZ Top’s most elaborately staged yet. In addition to a 35-ton stage in the shape of the Lone Star State, the band also brought along a menagerie of wild animals, including a buffalo, a Longhorn, rattlesnakes, tarantulas, and six buzzards (all named Oscar).

      1. Doug says:

        In Walmart today I bought a $20 pair of sunglasses on clearance for just 5 bucks. It really knocked me out.

        1. Capitalism is amazing. It is also a wild force like a tempest or forest fire.

  3. Non Serviam says:

    Dear Brettley, How does one balance the seemingly contradictory forces of antinomianism and order? Metal achieves this artistically, but can these opposing forces be integrated into ones ethos?

    1. I quote from the Book of Anolis:

      By incorporating data for each time period, Stroud captured the history of every lizard in the community. He then related survival data to the variation in body traits, which allowed him to analyze which body traits were important predictors of survival. Taken together, the analysis painted a picture of how natural selection operated on the community as a whole.

      To his surprise, Stroud found that the stabilizing form of natural selection — that which maintains a species’ same, average features — was extremely rare. In fact, natural selection varied massively through time. Some years, lizards with longer legs would survive better, and other years, lizards with shorter legs fared better. For other times, there was no clear pattern at all.

      “The most fascinating result is that natural selection was extremely variable through time,” Stroud said. “We often saw that selection would completely flip in direction from one year to the next. When combined into a long-term pattern, however, all this variation effectively canceled itself out: Species remained remarkably similar across the entire time period.”

      “Evolution can and does happen — it’s this ongoing process, but it doesn’t necessarily mean things are constantly changing in the long run,” Stroud said. “Now we know that even if animals appear to be staying the same, evolution is still happening.”

      Metal endorses power and by doing so, points to the transaction of history, myth, and learning instead of the human drama in which most citizens of bourgeois democracy mentally dwell. Power means constant change guided by an inherent order to life, instead of trying to deny this order so that a human design can prevail. Metal is antihuman and in being so, pushes us to be better than human.

      1. Darwin A. Ward says:

        that’s not evolution it is just a little variation. this quote says it all: Now we know that even if animals appear to be staying the same, evolution is still happening.”

  4. Nick Charles says:

    I suspect the funderground will skip it and only hardcore kvlties will show. Hopefully the crvsties and hipstards will fuck off too.

    1. The crusties got replaced by Bitcoin catamites in Austin some time ago.

      1. Keep Austin Weird says:

        What do you mean?

        1. Everyone there is driving around now with an avocado latte talking about BitCoin instead of begging for coin in filthy Discharge tshirts.

  5. Watching says:

    A take on an approach? Why, count me in!

  6. Flying Kites says:

    Glad to hear. I will enjoy making it to this as much as the Blood Seattle concert in 2017. I was unprepared then, but hopefully somebody dies this time around. Texas Über Alles.

  7. Here is the tracklist to my band

    I wanna suck on kat dennings and mayim bialiks sweet Jew vaginas
    Latinos have too many kids
    Kelly Clarkson’s pussy stinks
    Asian pussy rules
    Elasmosaurusprimeraprockzilla Egyptian death metal evil cheese pizzas
    Jews have small cocks
    Fuck del paso white trash
    Lars hannenman no predator and rouge ops suck dick
    God is gay
    Black Korean pussy rules
    Styracosaurusprimeraprockzilla sfpd speed metal stegosaurus smilodon simolestes
    Raptors love rape and incest like me
    MechWarriorzilla raprock megalosaurus prime
    I wanna bang a celeb start a band marry a Korean or japwaiian
    Deathmetalchickspeeing.com
    Most blacks are annoying
    The mauisaurusprimeraprockzilla medieval metal murder hornets
    White pussy rules
    Edie Lambert has a huge meaty pussy
    Fuck meds let me rape goths and white women
    Kronosaurusprimeraprockzilla killer instinct metal Krispy Kreme Nazis
    Pussy tastes better with nachos
    Allosaurusprimeraprockzilla Archelon metal anarchist cops
    The vehicular homicide mosasaurmetalrapzilla
    No chicks unless bottomless
    Don’t steal white trash cuz I kill garbage like you
    Korn slipknot Necro icp otep must die
    Women don’t have the right to deny me a blowjob
    All vaginas must be kicked sucked and fucked
    Biden sucks and kamala’s pussy stinks
    Hitler would kill all wiggers [nword] spiggers and chiggers if he was alive
    Everybody just sucks

    So what do you think

    I need a Chinese or mulatto bassist drummer and guitarist

    No women

    No whites

    No Mexicans

    Must be half Asian

    Call 9164184776

    1. speed metal > all except trad metal says:

      This looks like a somehow more autistic version of Chris Chan’s “Looking for Boyfriend free Girlfriend: No blacks or Mexicans” sign.

      1. Is Chris Chan a dude again?

        1. Every dudes a lady says:

          Maybe, but who can tell? Not like it matters anyway.

          1. In retrospect, what made USENET great was that it had its own culture of self-reliance and self-responsibility, instead of the “internet culture” that followed where people felt validated and moral if they were engaging in the same repeated tropes, behaviors, and pathologies of others. No wonder it finally degenerated in Reddit where people feel good about being creepy, rapey, and neurotic losers together because they have a little group gathered to validate each other with clever comments. Luckily most are killing themselves, sterilizing themselves, or dying alone because they are weird sweaty fat nerds who masturbate constantly, but some are still surviving. Any future sensible government will make their exile or euthanasia a top priority.

            1. Man you? I thought you were cool with ideas?

              What you don’t like me?

              Maybe I should get Irish bitches to rape you

              Or my brides

              Irishwaiian
              Iraqwaiian
              Iranwaiian
              Icelandwaiian
              Indiawaiian
              Inuitwaiian

              Would you kill yourself if you fucked a black girl Brett why don’t you try it?

              Can’t you fuck without feeling love for the other person

              And would you kill yourself if a Irish chick fucked you in your sleep?

              1. Would you kill yourself if you fucked a black girl Brett why don’t you try it?

                I think it ends in sadness, the mixing of races, and so I would not do that. I have known a number of lovely Black girls in the past who would have been contenders but it never fit.

                On the other hand…

                And would you kill yourself if a Irish chick fucked you in your sleep?

                Dunno about kill myself, but that is bestiality and I would be horrified. [[[ “People” ]]] are not people.

              2. What you don’t like me?

                Also… let me explain my curse in life.

                My curse is to see obvious commonsense things that are easy to articulate but esoteric to understand.

                For example, the anti-diversity argument is understood by almost no one. Even smart people are baffled.

                It is not an anti-Negro argument. It is not about liking, judging, or really having any specifics about Africans.

                It says simply: more than one group — ethnic, religious, cultural, racial, political, social class — in the same society, and you have friction. The more ways the groups are different, the more friction you have.

                In America, the group that will replace us is Asians. This includes Hispanics, who are ethnically Mongolian.

                Western Europe is going to get Islamized and then invaded by Eastern Europeans, at which point everyone there will be ethnically similar to Jews or Italians.

                This ends the civilization. Italy and Greece have never risen again. Angkor Wat was forgotten. And what of Tenochtitlan, except cheap maids and painters?

                The situation is more complex than that.

                I am from the South, I grew up in the South, and I love the South, and our relationship to other races is more complex and less malevolent than Yankees (and let’s be fair, we have to include CaliforniAIDS in this category) will ever understand.

                We all know Black people we adore, trust, and care about deeply.

                However, we also know that only mono-ethnic societies have a chance in hell of not suiciding.

                1. Kohl says:

                  Smart Leftists don’t care whether anti-diversity is anti-Negro or not, because they’re interested in things where that distinction is irrelevant.

                  1. Leftists generally have a binary view: you are either a Leftist or must be destroyed. As a result, it makes sense to see them (and the “red liberals” too) as simply parasitic liars.

                    1. Beherit Johnson says:

                      But didn’t you champion the same exact view against Leftists? The only difference being that you took the killing part quite literally. :/

                    2. No, because I am not insisting that people be “conservative” or be destroyed, only that we kill Communists for the same reason we kill weeds, cockroaches, AIDS, etc.

                    3. Beherit Johnson says:

                      So, be non-Communist or be destroyed. But you don’t attempt to convert them before death, sure.

                    4. Be anything but Communist. No point converting them; we are in Darwinian territory. Just insert the needle and usher them off to peaceful sleep and composting.

                    5. I find it hard to believe that any thinking person believes that killing Communists is controversial.

                      These people wrecked a century. They all belong in the fucking ovens.

                    6. Beherit Johnson says:

                      Then you definitely have a binary view, s’all I’m saying.

                    7. Nah, because it is not binary. Here is the difference:

                      • Leftists: world is divided into us and them.
                      • Brettists: world is divided into conservatives, SAT CONG, and everyone else.

                      The take you hear from me accepts gradations, nuance, spectrum (and “on the spectrum”), inequality, fallibility, impermanence, standard distribution, and most of all the variation in individuals and the fact that most people need to be left the fuck alone because they are not outright harming.

                      The Left’s view is that you join them or you are the enemy.

                      Speaking generally of binary views, the issues I have with good/evil — as Fred did — include this as well. What about the people in the middle? What about the fact that, a good guy, after getting fired from his job, his wife leaving him, a migraine, constipation, and some bad brown acid might make some unfortunate mistakes? Or that people are limited by their cognitive ability, gumption, and intellectual honesty? Or that five nines of this population has zero actual analytical capability? Life does not divide into pure symbols; there is always the quest to be intellectually and morally pure, and per the Buddhists, it may be the only game in town.

                    8. Beherit Johnson says:

                      All right. One just never knows where people draw the line, and that can be abused pretty easily. You know how it goes: they justify their cause by professing tolerance for everyone except extremists, but eventually their definition of unwanted extremes turns out to be quite, heh, inclusive, while the tolerated “common folk” are really just their own kind but with some charming quirk they don’t necessarily agree with during all hours of the day. (Off topic, is there a possibility you could increase the minimum width of comments? It looks like we’re debating while stuck together in a drainpipe.)

              3. IIRC Hawaiians are Polynesians, a group whose ancestry remains confused (probably Denisovan-Australid mixture IMHO). Check this:

                A significant proportion of Melanesian ancestry (mean = 32%) was estimated in 100% self-reported Native Hawaiians in an ADMIXTURE analysis of Asian, Melanesian, and Native Hawaiian populations of K = 2, where K denotes the number of ancestral populations. This notable proportion of Melanesian admixture supports the “Slow-Boat” model of migration of ancestral Polynesian populations from East Asia to the Pacific Islands. In addition, approximately 1,300 years ago a single, strong expansion of the Native Hawaiian population was estimated.

                The biggest problem your “native Hawaiian” (Polynesian migrant) has is the same problem Ashkenazi Jews have: a small founding population:

                Native Hawaiians display alarming rates of obesity, diabetes, cardiovascular diseases, cancers, and other related chronic health conditions (Grandinetti et al., 2002; Pike et al., 2002; Maskarinec et al., 2009; Mau et al., 2009; Madan et al., 2012; Singh and Lin, 2013; Tung and Barnes, 2014; Braden and Nigg, 2016). Environmental and/or social factors undoubtedly play an important role for these disparity, but in some cases, the risks for diseases are elevated even after adjusting for BMI and other socioeconomic and lifestyle factors (Pike et al., 2002; Maskarinec et al., 2009; Madan et al., 2012; Singh and Lin, 2013). This suggests that systematic differences in the number, frequencies, or effects of genetic risk alleles could partly explain the differences in risk among populations. The history of Native Hawaiians exemplifies all major evolutionary mechanisms influencing the pattern of variations in humans – population size changes, adaptation, and recent admixture.

                Like Amerinds (Central American and South American indios & “Native Americans”) the New World Polynesians suffered what looks like a small founding population, low genetic drift, and low selection pressures, which leads to inbreeding-like health issues:

                After attempting to adjust for non-genetic covariates evaluated through questionnaires, we found that per 10% increase in global Polynesian genetic ancestry, there is a respective 8.6%, and 11.0% increase in the odds of being diabetic (P = 1.65×10−4) and having heart failure (P = 2.18×10−4), as well as a 0.059 s.d. increase in BMI (P = 1.04×10−10). When testing the association of local Polynesian ancestry with risk of disease or biomarkers, we identified a chr6 region associated with T2D. This association was driven by an uniquely prevalent variant in Polynesian ancestry individuals. However, we could not replicate this finding in an independent Polynesian cohort from Samoa due to the small sample size of the replication cohort. In conclusion, we showed that Polynesian ancestry, which likely capture both genetic and lifestyle risk factors, is associated with an increased risk of obesity, Type-2 diabetes, and heart failure, and that larger cohorts of Polynesian ancestry individuals will be needed to replicate the putative association on chr6 with T2D.

                If I wanted to make Hawaiians great again, I would re-integrate them with Samoans to catch up on whatever natural selection they missed over the past few thousand years, then breed them with Koreans and Japanese to bring them up to modern IQ levels. Then a strict program of natural selection would weed out the weak, drunks, lazy, insane, stupid, criminal, and perverse. This would end up with a population more like that of the Philippines but probably stronger, larger, and better at barbecue.

        2. speed > all except trad. says:

          He will be now that he has a girlfriend.

    2. ¡HALLA ROF STAOG KCUF! says:

      “Must be half-asian”

      Does eastern european count?

      1. Undoubtedly. Probably Italian and Jewish as well, for some values of Italian.

        1. Realistic realst says:

          Although depending on the region, eastern europeans are overall not “half-asians”, that’s taking it too far. They’re about as much asian as your typical murican who has some native indian and irish ancestry running in their veins. The difference isn’t as grand as you make it to be. Even Scandinavia has plenty of people with epicanthic folds – probably more than I can count when I was there. Purity is dead, and that’s not bad since we don’t want incest/deformity, so fucking get over it already you autistic sodomite.

          1. Lots of assertions here not borne out by reality. Most Americans are not mixed; Eastern Europeans all have a significant Asiatic influence, grouping them with Italians and Jews. They are Eurasians. “Some” mixed people in other societies does not compete with “just about everyone” mixed in some others. As usual, I apply my rule: if it looks, acts, and thinks Western, it is with us, but we are talking about less than a quarter of the population of Southern and Eastern Europe there. Worrying about inbreeding is a false dilemma since populations of 2k+ avoid it through genetic drift.

          2. Unrealist says:

            Where in Scandinavia was that exactly?

            1. Ashkelon. Or maybe St Petersburg. Possibly Florence.

          3. Cynical says:

            “Purity is dead”
            PRAYERS ARE BURNED
            COVERED IN BLACK SHIT

  8. Flying Kites says:

    Are you still smoking weed, Stevens? See you in Houston!

    1. This show is going to be lit. I have not smoked weed in a dozen years or more at this point. As Alan Watts said:

      If you get the message, hang up the phone. For psychedelic drugs are simply instruments, like microscopes, telescopes, and telephones. The biologist does not sit with eye permanently glued to the microscope, he goes away and works on what he has seen.

      1. Flying Kites says:

        Cannabis is a psychedelic, isn’t it?

        Let us know when these tickets are available. I hope to have a rig in working order to make it. It seems the Houston show is right across from the Greyhound. XD What do you like to drink? I’ll be bringing cases of Bayern doppelbock.

        1. Cannabis is psychedelic in the right doses. The club in question is in a nicely dubious part of town right near a golf course. Very Houston! There are several Greyhound stations in town. Hope to see you there. At this point, I do not drink much of anything from lack of time, but would be very glad to see you and others from the remaining mentally awake metalhead crew.

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