Apokalyptic Raids – The Third Storm (2005)

apokalyptic raids the third storm

Article by Corey M.

At the beginning of this album, I thought I was in for some ironically incompetent Venom worship with affectations of naivety: “Metal about metal” as it can be rightly called. The drums are played in a bare-bones punk style. The guitar(s) loop punk riffs in predictable verse-chorus style structures while the vocalist rants in a smoke-shredded voice about typical metal stuff. No virtuosic leads or even harmonies are present. However, as the record progressed, the raw efficacy of the chords overcame my cynicism and my head began to nod to and fro of its own accord. Maybe these guys are a throwback or tribute act. Maybe they have actually never heard anything more recent than the first¬†Bathory album. Either way, their riffs have an undeniable ability to hook energy-pumping tentacles into your brain and stir in your heart the desire to get off your ass and be a living, bleeding, raging human. When it comes to music, is there anything better than that?

Listen to and purchase the vinyl reissue of The Third Storm¬†from Hells Headbangers’ Bandcamp page.

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19 thoughts on “Apokalyptic Raids – The Third Storm (2005)”

  1. Troll says:

    This reads like a metal archives review. Try being more autistic.

    1. Metal Autism summary: “HAZ RIFFS! CAN BANG MAH HEAD ON DA TABLE! 97%”

      1. Troll says:

        I think you misunderstand. I was being sincere when I said it needs more autism. Writing reviews about riffs ripping your cunt out is for mundane neurotypicals. True metal reviews need a touch of the ’tism a la David Rosales.

        Aspie Nerd Underground Society 4 Lyfe

      2. C.M. says:

        MA reviewer impersonation:

        *hears growls*

        “This album has an overt death metal influence.”

      3. I blew my head off like Per Ohlin says:

        MA was worth it just for the bitterman reviews.

        1. LostInTheANUS says:

          Agreed.

        2. vOddy says:

          Where can I find them?

          I read one, which was funny. But when I clicked on his profile, I couldn’t see the rest of them.

          1. bitterman says:

            With the exception of a deleted Triptykon review (deemed “trolling”, actually “warning about terrible music”), these are links to all the reviews. I will archive them now (never have until now) and, like I said in a previous comment on this site, these reviews or “warnings” are free for reproduction (they can be used by this site if the staff wants). You can search for them by clicking reviews on M-A, searching only for 0% and clicking author for the name. If you enjoy these warnings, I recommend downloading them, etc. before angry forum members with the power to sway the staff of that site find ways to “group vote” them into deletion (see also the banning of a member called “fallot” – banned for unpopular opinions expressed in a reasonable manner and accused of being me for them to boot). There is many Amerika articles which describe the behavior we see on a site like that, Slutwalk, and college campuses (I look forward to the day the FEMA camps officially open). Here they are:

            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/%C3%98scillat%C3%B6r/Experiment_XIII/365543/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Abdomen_Canvas/Inhabitance/365544/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Abiotic/Symbiosis/351288/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Acrania/The_Beginning_of_the_End/366744/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Acrimonium/Demo_1992/71041/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/At_the_Gates/Slaughter_of_the_Soul/298/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Behemoth/The_Satanist/395440/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Benighted_in_Sodom/Monstrously_Beautiful_Sorrow/371809/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Blood_Red_Throne/Blood_Red_Throne/370990/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Blowtorch_Sodomy/Blowtorch_Sodomy/325528/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Broken_Hope/Omen_of_Disease/386338/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Carcass/Surgical_Steel/382463/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Cave_of_Swimmers/Cave_of_Swimmers/397593/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Deafheaven/Sunbather/372328/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Death_Crowned_King/The_Sum_of_Slaughter/431698/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Disincarnate/Dreams_of_the_Carrion_Kind/835/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/D%C3%B8dheimsgard/666_International/6299/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Edge_of_Sanity/Crimson/474/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Fallujah/The_Flesh_Prevails/412147/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Fate/No_Sense/74936/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Fear_Factory/Soul_of_a_New_Machine/781/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Floor/The_Ladder/389546/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Gojira/Les_Enfants_sauvages/404792/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Gorguts/Colored_Sands/379853/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Hibernus_Mortis/The_Existing_Realms_of_Perpetual_Sorrow/31237/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Implosive_Disgorgence/Chapters%3A_Redux/184039/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Inferion/Given_to_the_Ground/86629/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Kult_ov_Azazel/Destroying_the_Sacred/219716/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Landmine_Marathon/Gallows/312630/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Maruta/Forward_into_Regression/318980/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Mayhem/Esoteric_Warfare/405335/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Meshuggah/Pitch_Black/366357/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Napalm_Death/Utilitarian/326614/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Oblation/Dead_Unborn/198216/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Pantera/Vulgar_Display_of_Power/230/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Paralysys/Paralysis/295862/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Party_Time/Party_Time/358466/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Portal/Vexovoid/359762/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Putrescent_Secretancy/Reconfiguration_of_Reality/363196/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Rainwound/United/316358/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Rings_of_Saturn/Dingir/343864/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Rippikoulu/Ulvaja/411444/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Ruin/Aggressive_Magnetism/127797/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Satyricon/Satyricon/383927/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Shattered_Sunrise/Another_Dimension/73037/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Silenmara/Collection_of_Conscience/316000/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Soulfly/World_Scum/337908/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/The_Faceless/Autotheism/347367/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Thrash_or_Die/Poser_Holocaust/307982/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Torche/Harmonicraft/338389/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Watain/The_Wild_Hunt/379207/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Whitechapel/Our_Endless_War/403562/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Winds_of_Plague/Resistance/387824/bitterman/321549
            http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Wrongful_Death/The_Assembly/313226/bitterman/321549

            1. vOddy says:

              Thank you, sir. I’ll be going for a walk to buy some apples, some potato chips, and a delicious drink.

            2. morbideathscream says:

              I must say I enjoyed reading your reviews, all of which I find to be accurate. No self respecting metalhead likes plastic core bands like gojira, deafheaven, Whitechapel, winds of plague, etc. How the fuck were those bands even added to metal archives in the first place? Yet they ban you for bashing bands that are made of emo fags or wiggers.

              You hit the nail on the head with the portal and watain reviews. Horribly overpraised, even by certain ones in the underground who you would think should know better.

    2. C.M. says:

      This is all the positives and negatives I could say about the album. It gets me pumped and makes me want to get active. That’s a pretty rare thing. Maybe listen for yourself and see if I’m missing anything.

    3. Poser Patrol says:

      I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the occasional “casual” review as long as it is understood as precisely that. We all listen to some music without high-minded intentions and it would be dishonest to pretend that isn’t the case. Even Brett has admitted as much when he drops his guard. The problem arises when “casual” listening is conflated with “real” listening, at which point impartial analysis goes out the window and is replaced with whimsy.

  2. Vigilance says:

    You chastised my perspective yet here you admit that you approach music on the same terms as some resident of Ultimate-Guitar.

    1. C.M. says:

      Maybe. I thought Ultimate Guitar was a tab site though, so I don’t get that reference.

      If you listen to the album I think you’ll find that there is not much to dig into, however. If I’m wrong about anything in this review, you could always just point to it.

      But there really isn’t anything to this album except for head-nodability. I expect most readers are much too Hessian for what is basically pop music. But there is that appeal there, for those who seek that kind of thing. Music that just makes you want to get into physical activity has its utility, I guess.

  3. Nathan Metric says:

    Only their first album was good but, I do respect them for educating me about the Celtic Frost sound. One thing I would correct the reviewer on is this notion that the music is hooky. It’s not. Like Celtic Frost, their music is intentionally designed to NOT have hooks in it. All riffs are intended to be equally important in presenting a narrative about the authentic, disillusioned, aloof, bitter, but impassioned warrior. There are no brutal breakdowns. No techno-guitar wankery that impresses the ladies. No distracting changes in mood to appear “sophisticated”. A subtler form of riff-writting wholly lacking in modern metal, but was the norm in classic underground metal.

    And like war metal, the music is oppressive so as to build up stress within one’s soul rather than to serve as an outlet. You can’t be sitting still when you listen to this. You gotta be moving at high speed to enjoy it.

    1. C.M. says:

      That’s a good observation, that should be corrected. Hooky is an inappropriate word. The riffs are catchy in that I had an easy time remembering them and did not get bored even though they are melodically simple, and was interested to hear them again because I liked the psychic energy boosts they gave me. But since individual riffs don’t stand out, this is not hooky music.

  4. Mythic Imagination says:

    Pure energy music like this needs to be praised more often, the benefit of some metal is not well written art but pure movement and power, its purpose is more physical and immediate. Conqueror’s War Cult Supremacy is my go to album in this style along with Sepultura’s Bestial Devastation

    1. War Cult Supremacy is shit musically. Conqueror has to use samples to differentiate songs like a shitty hardcore band.

      1. Mythic Imagination says:

        The pure energy is addicting. To me it’s a completely rhythmic/percussive Blasphemy.

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