Atlantean Kodex Live Album is Bad

At first glance, this album boasts a cool cover and impressively long song lengths, making a strong first impression. Then I hit play. It didn’t take long to realize this is really, really bad live album. It is not tightly played at all. The two guitars are not in sync and neither are the drums. You have to suffer through really bad lyrics like: “Onward to the sun” and “Destiny is calling!”. Everything is really bad waltzy Sabbath imitation but really boring. I can fairly say that this album qualifies as epic German cheese. So of course it will be popular. The singer sounds like the guy who sang those Budweiser ads Real Men of Genius.

I am on song two and am convinced this is epic garbage, like the child gangs who fight over trash heaps with machetes in Venezuela, but less appealing. Why is it when there is a bad, over-rated band, the fans always say have a beer and kick back and enjoy this classic. I am sorry, but too many fans have killed too many brain cells with beer and need to drink mineral water instead, and put on some decent music. I am really hating the four chord progression boorishness of the second song’s chorus.  Also this album is too wimpy, to where it feels like Sebastian Bach and Skid Row could even kick their butt in an old fashioned glam rock fight. The attempts to play leads or solo are particularly cringe-worthy. And I don’t mean to pick on these guys, they are just simply bad. Their music offers nothing new, so there is nothing to improve upon. It is like eating off the value meal at Burger King, the recipe can only be improved so much…

It is getting really hard to get through the second song and I may have to bail out and hit the eject button at this juncture. I did find a riff I finally enjoyed at the 5:40 mark of song two , but it stopped and guitar went clean and crowd started chanting ‘Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!’ which is bad. The second half of the second song is pretty decent, minus all the crowd singing crud. At one point they go “Ah! Ah! Ah!”, as if they think they having a mass dental check-up or something.

Starting song three, (these songs are all way too fucking long) but it is such a bad Sabbath clone with a weak guitar harmony rip-off of “For Who the Bell Tolls.”  Overall, this attempt to cross Sabbath and Priest, becomes quickly tedious. And I cannot take any more of this album. If I want to listen to something in this vein, I would probably revert to listening to some old Kreator, or some Cirith Ungol, King of the Dead.

Ugh, another terrible solo, as I wrap up this review. Barf!

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16 thoughts on “Atlantean Kodex Live Album is Bad”

  1. dead butt dreaming says:

    Atlantean Kodex fails because, unlike the cheesiest power metal bands, they try to keep a layer of self-awareness of the cheesiness between themselves and the subject matter

    This is why mercyful fate and manowar actually get better with age – because we look back and admire their balls-to-the-wall dedication to theme and subject – while Atlantean Kodex will become more and more embarrassing to listen to as time passes

    Approaching historical/fantastic/mythical topics with even a thin shield of irony or academic poise to hide yourself behind results in shitty metal

    1. Attention Defecate Disorder says:

      This sounds accurate.

  2. Slaughter of this Hole says:

    My nigga, you shouldn’t have used Skid Row as your comparison, your point would’ve been better made by saying like… Poison or White Lion, maybe Def Leppard pre-Hysteria, when their drummer had BOLTH arms and they had a raging alcoholic in Steve Clark. Skid Row was always on the meaner, streetwise, scrappy-fighter side of things. As though they’d had run-ins with the law (for albeit minor shit). Them other bands, they were the prettiest, weakest, get-pussy-and-party type who would never even fight.

  3. neutronhammer says:

    I like the Golden Bough and the Demos,yes i can see this not aging particularly well.

  4. NWN War Metal Tranny Rapist says:

    This is shemale music!

  5. a says:

    are any of these newer “epic heavy/doom” groups (doomsword, sons of crom, etc.) actually good

    1. dead butt dreaming says:

      Not really

      Graven Rite – Summoner’s Pit is dece

    2. some sperg on the internet says:

      They’re not new, but Solstice is great. New Dark Age is a masterpiece of epic, doomy heavy metal and their post-reunion stuff is great as well. Their new album is probably going to be my AOTY unless the new Divine Eve record (which should FINALLY be coming out this year) bests it.

      1. thewaters says:

        I agree! Solstice is pretty much the pinnacle of the epic doom style.

        1. theoils says:

          Would raise you ‘Will of the Gods is Great Power’ by Scald.

  6. my_ass says:

    I believe that Atlantean Kodex is a good band. Joe Slater sucks as a writer

    1. Rainer of greasy poop spatter says:

      wow good point dumbass

    2. Attention Defecate Disorder says:

      Atlantean Kodex is terrible. The Joe Slater articles are the best! At least until Jerry and Nicholas combine forces.

      1. my_ass says:

        Sure, whatever you say, Slater’s cocksucker. With these kinds of recommendations, this post went to hell:

    3. Parasyde says:

      It’s pretty obvious that Joe is Brock who is REDACTED

  7. A dick says:

    Onward my gayward son.

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