Failed journalist and domestic terrorist Kim Kelly is rumored to have been the one who organized the venue boycotts of the Taake tour.  As many are unfortunately aware, she is the bunk face of the progressive leftist metal movement but clearly does not understand the music enough for anyone to take her seriously. Let’s ignore her N.S.B.M./racist praising past, flavor of the week ideology, and grotesque physical defects and spend some time with the terrible music she is promoting to determine it has anything to do with what metal actually is.

(editor’s note:  album art is too lame to be featured on this site)

Feminazgul: The age of men is over

Atmosphere defines the music by composition rather than texture and in this case there is very little atmosphere created. Burzum disco drums capture all the attention as synths steal from Burzum while sounding overtly happy and effeminate through awkward major scale modulation. The guitars are practically non existent and don’t do much either way as distant screams so processed they sound more like a toilet flushing than anything else. Margaret Killjoy who is a cross dressing man has done what the hordes of hipster black metal bands have done so well but with even greater results: he has made the most effeminate form of black metal to ever be conceived. This is not terrible because of Margaret’s mental illness but because of his desire to lower Burzum’s vision to the lowest level of populist expression. Replace with anything by early Burzum as a reminder of what this style is meant to be.

Vile Creature: A Steady Descent into the Soil

Composed spontaneously as this mix-mash of basic hipster doom stereotypes is far too repetitive and progresses nowhere beyond the introduction of an initial idea. The music features loud simple heavy riffs that are opposed to the same ideas but in a quieter form. High pitched baby screams meet liberal art students chants crying about their life choices and how no one understands them. Where metal was once about the rebel forging his own path through the chaos, this is more the reject trying to attract other rejects through pretentiousness. There is more to doom than rock beats and hitting the lower frets of your guitar. Those who try to corrupt metal through weakness rather than embrace the strength it provides will find no success here in the underground. Replace with Abysmal Growls Of Despair’s Between My Dead for real spiteful doom metal.

Olivia Neutered John: Transphobia Annihilation Squad

Annoying drum machine that either plays pop or cheap sounding blast beats as a chugging guitar just follows. Digital sounds that have been giving the lo-fi effect in an attempt to add some form of grit but this fails as once again metal needs to be identified by composition and not by texture. Harsh uncontrolled whispers that allow this man’s natural voice to come through prove either that this man can’t growl or that he is scared of waking up his parents. The only variations that are presented musically are long uncomfortable stays in major scale territory. This is not blackened death metal in the slightest but badly produced pop music. Replace with Necrophobic’s The Nocturnal Silence for real metal with melody.

Ragana: Épuisé

Hipster melodies and the idea of opposing loud and quiet rule every composition. As every melody and idea can literally be taken from any hipster band that has based their discography on post-rock.

Arrangements are in the grunge style of soft loud x2 with the soft part being the main melody and the loud part is just the same melody simplified and through terrible distortion.

Vocally there is some hope as some of the screams almost sound convincing but lack resonance and some bass. The hipster singing parts sound terrible and must be removed. Though this is well produced and created with effort, the musical language is far too constricted to be taken seriously and has no sight or understanding of what it wants to achieve. Replace with Absu’s V.I.T.R.I.O.L to remind yourselves that USBM has great albums.

Ilsa Corpse Fortress:

Like every band on this list we are presented with weak pathetic high pitched whiny screams.  War metal riffs slowed down meet third rate Gothenburg riffs in basic metalcore arrangements. Every riff is an isolated breakdown with no collection to the adjacent riffs. The drums form the backbone while the vocals maintain attention allowing the guitar complete freedom to do whatever it wants. With some syncopation this would be standard modern metal but it manages to trick its audience into thinking that doom is just slow chromatic riffs for nodding your head. The lyrics claim to be antifascist satanism but that is the combination of keywords to manipulate the general public as the lyrics were probably written by a leftist word generator. Replace with Entombed’s Left Hand Path for actual slow riffs that work in a song context.

If you have had the misfortune of listening to any of these albums, you can quickly conclude that to be popular in the hipster scene all you need is hatred for heterosexual white males, artificial necro production, happy sounding melodies, whiny vocals and complete ignorance as to what makes metal so great.

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  1. NWN War Metal Tranny Rapist says:

    None of these faggot bands have the balls to wear Conqueror shirts and rape transsexuals! I fear no crab claw! Come down to Canada, see what happens!

    1. HELL V.666 says:

      If you see Daniela Vega, hit her for me!!!

    2. Queen of the metal desert says:

      Have you ever fought a tranny, or are you all talk? Show your hide on Skid Row and we’ll see what’s what.

  2. Negrew says:

    The band names reveal everything you need to know…

  3. Kim Kelly's Penis says:

    The article said, “(editor’s note: album art is too lame to be featured on this site)” and then immediately listed the album “Feminazgul: The age of men is over”. I honestly thought the article was obfuscating the name of the band + album as well… you know, as a joke… but sadly there is no joke. That album needs the “depressive suicidal black metal” tag because listening to it makes me want to immediately cease existence. It has been a while since a piece of music has pissed me off this badly. How does one cope with listening to this?

    And that is just the tip of the iceberg…

    Did you notice that feminism patch on the dude’s jacket in the bio pic for Vile Creature? I could just picture her sewing on that mark-of-the-cuck for him. And oh my shit, did you see the song and album titles from Olivia Neutered John? Aww, how come nobody wanted to support his album, “Kill All Men (Starting With the White Ones)”?

    Wow, this article really delivered.

    1. Nicholas Vahdias says:

      I also made a twitter just to show her and rather than respond she immediately blocked me

      1. Nicholas Vahdias says:


  4. Marc Defranco says:

    Absu is honestly an incredibly solid band. Can’t name an exactly bad album. Really into Tara and The Third Storm of Cythrául

    1. canadaspaceman says:

      agreed, Tara and The Third Storm of Cythrául are masterpieces.

  5. Pathologist = great band says:

    Will there be a GUT retrospective?

  6. pink socks says:

    i can’t believe how stupid people are

  7. Exfoliation says:

    Absurd are fucking trannies, look at the crimp permed hair on those fags, I saw one of those fags in Chicago and he was done up in a pink leather jacket, what a fag

  8. canadaspaceman says:

    I searched for who that pic was of, “moldylocks”, becuase I was curious of that confrontation, then learn she’s violent antifa and also makes porn videos? LOL.

  9. Tannie says:

    Can’t wait til you scared little shits say this stuff in public and get knocked the fuck out

    1. Nicholas Vahdias says:

      aren’t you people against virility and masculinity? Have the Antifa ever won a street fight?

    2. NWN War Metal Tranny Rapist says:

      I’ll rape you stupid tranny! Better cover your ass and tell your friends to watch out for the guy in the Black Witchery hoodie with the 14 inch penis.

  10. Hung Like A Horse says:

    Only groids have big pen

    1. Hung Like A Horse says:


  11. matters says:

    Are these real bands? Impaled Nazarene have a song called Transvestite, which we are probably not allowed to listen to.

  12. AdolfChrist says:

    I have seen that ugly jew bitch Kim Kelly in person probably at St. Vitus the Synagogue of Hipster Black Metal garbage…Typical big nosed Jude. Surrounded by Hipster losers that think (((They)))are the scene, with ugly Neck Beards and the H&M denim vest jackets with the latest trendy hipster band embroidered patch to match. Its sad and pathetic how bad Brooklyn is when it comes to Metal and Music in general. Any band who thinks they are Black Metal and come from Brooklyn should commit suicide. Their music sucks, its not Black Metal never will be just trendy bullshit for posers. Fuck off to Brooklyn, Hipsters, (((Kim))) Kelly, Anti fa, St Vitus, Lucky 13 and bunkers that allow these hordes of parasites to fester. Extermination is coming soon.

    1. canadaspaceman says:

      Kim the Crabclaw Kelly is jewish ? links? proof? I might be heartbroken…
      But maybe wanting sex with any inter-dimensional demon hybrid and a jew are NOT two different things?
      Going back to my cheap Laker beer, that is all folks.

  13. SkyTech says:

    that”s another hollow and baseless claim by a dumb whiny feminist that wants to have you believe that women are the victim and that they are discriminated against. women are every where in the film industry and they do everything that men do, yet if they are not as conspicuous and as successful as men, it does not mean that they are discriminated against, but it means that they are not as talented or ambitious in their craft as men. whiny feminists never tell the entire truth. it”s not our fault that 89 out of 90 film directors who have won the oscars are men. only 11% of all directors are women. who”s fault is that? women should blame themselves for a change. this demonstration was cringy and exaggerated. best custom essay

  14. jomkitalari says:

    Thank u sosososososo muachhhhh!!!!

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