COVID-19 Only Attacks When We’re Having Fun, Scientists Reveal

COVID-19 — the bizarre virus from Wuhan, China that is part HIV, part bat flu, and part pure demonic evil — only attacks when we are having a good time, scientists have revealed. This necessitates the closing of all bars, pubs, restaurants, concert venues, and record stores, but not tax offices, tire shops, or proctologists.

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Trenchant – Martial Chaos (2018)

Something like war metal happens to your genre when the innovators create a framework and then the herd rushes in to make its own versions of the new music, coincidentally making it sound like everything else since that is the music that panders to herd tastes. “Post-metal” is basically emo, and war metal is the counter-revolution.

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Human Mass Extermination – Under Extraterrestrial Domain (2019)

Many of us missed an entire generation of metal because millennials came after the rise of hip-hop and rap-influenced acts like nü-metal and Pantera, so it was almost an entirely different genre. At the core of deathcore like Human Mass Extermination beats a heart of groove, and with it, the influence of rap/rock on death metal and grindcore.

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Dynatron – Aeternus (2015)

Synthwave attempts to recreate a Harold Faltermeyer or Jan Hammer soundtrack with additions from 1980s synthpop and a “cosmic spirit” borrowed from 1970s New Age music and experimental ambient like Tangerine Dream, working simple pop songs into the kind of quasi-symphonic layered and thematic environment of a movie soundtrack.

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Julian Bream (1933-2020)

We lost a giant among guitar players last Friday when Julian Bream passed on to the Other Side, where hopefully he is shredding still:

Bream was born in Battersea in 1933, the son of a father who played piano and jazz guitar – a self-built electric version – and taught Julian the rudiments of each instrument. Bream’s talent earned him a scholarship at the Royal College of Music, where he studied piano and cello. But he was largely self-taught on his primary instrument, the guitar. He played his first public guitar recital in Cheltenham in 1947, aged 13.

That year his father chanced upon a sailor walking through London carrying a lute and asked what it was. The sailor sold it to him and Bream began learning it, eventually helping to revive wider interest in the instrument and Elizabethan music.

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Haystack – The Sacrifice (2019)

Riff-driven punk-based music that nonetheless focuses on instrumentals more than vocals, The Sacrifice might remind us of The Process of Weeding Out from Black Flag or later Carbonized releases, albeit more harmonically-pleasing and perhaps organized than either.

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Ehlder – Nordabetraktelse (2019)

In art, no shame attaches to specificity, since that is better than trying to be everything to everyone and ending up as the same old thing since nothing pleases all parties. Ehlder make a type of atmosphere black metal based around stomp beats and droning guitars with angular riffs gilded with cryptic melody.

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