The Metal Mixtures

the_metal_mixtures

Those of you who read our pipe smoking FAQ may have found your curiosity piqued; you may even have experimented with this strong psychoactive chemical and its benefits, especially if you absorb it through your mouth and not your lungs. At that point, you may wish for some top-notch leaf to explore.

Part of the journey into appreciation of the pipe as an activity — the familiarity, the rituals, the marking of time, the enjoyment — is to mix your own tobacco from pre-existing components. This can be great fun and a huge challenge. As part of that journey, I uncovered a number of homebrew blends which are both pleasant to smoke and economical.

Thus, it is time to introduce The Metal Mixtures:

  • Aiwass. More than half rum-soaked Perique, this mixture is then shored up with strong Virginias and Burleys, then crested with a pinch of Bright Virginia. The mixture is married through a proprietary process and then given a top-note of rum for more Crowleyian kick.

    Flavor: Medium Room: Medium Strength: Medium To Strong


  • Massacra. Massacra was inspired by the UK plugs including the venerable Velvan Plug, but given a death metal twist. Dark Burley melds with Dark Fired Kentucky Burley and Bright Virginia, supported by creamy cigar leaf and married through a proprietary process. The result has a fiery caramel flavor with an inner depth.

    Flavor: Medium-To-Strong Room: Medium Strength: Medium To Strong


  • Prince Ludwig. Designed in tribute to a famous drugstore tobacco, this blend uses a mixture of medium Burleys lightly flavored with a top note of vanilla, cocoa, and a mixture of alcohols. If you wanted an all-day smoke similar to the classics of a generation or two ago, this fits the bill.

    Flavor: Medium Room: Medium Strength: Mild To Medium


  • Londinium. This blend goes against the idea of innovation and is a classic English with Perique and some dark Burley added. Lighter in Latakia than most English blends, it emphasizes the Virginias for a sweeter smoke into which Orientals, Perique and Latakia meld as condimental flavors.

    Flavor: Medium Room: Strong Strength: Mild To Medium


  • New London. A straight up English mixture, New London combines Latakia with Orientals and sweet and strong English leaf, producing a medium-to-strong all-day smoke which has the spicy, zesty flavor of the English with the balance and rich harvest flavor of American blends. This is essentially Londinium with less Burley and none of the Perique.

    Flavor: Medium Room: Medium Strength: Mild To Medium


  • Miasma. Built around a Virginia-Perique core, this blend softens the blow with a small amount of Cavendish and then brings the fire with a mixture of Burleys. The end result is sweet and fragrant like a classic Va/Per, but packs more strength and a bolder, broader flavor.

    Flavor: Medium To Strong Room: Medium Strength: Medium To Strong



Owing to the recent FDA deeming rules, pipe tobacco is an endangered species except for the really big players in the market who can afford a half million dollars per blend to introduce it, get it approved and market it. But there is a loophole.

Raw ingredients — Virginias, Burley, Orientals, Perique, Dark Fired Kentucky, Rustica — can still be sold and we can mix them on our own. The resulting blends and mixtures cannot be sold, but they can be traded, and with that, a new type of underground economy was born: people who make their own blends, and trade them for other things, not limited to tobacco.

Need that computer fixed? Many of us will do it for a pound of Dark Burley or Bright Virginia. And when we need something, like a bushel of fresh garden vegetables or some of that elusive .223 ammunition, we will swap our blends for it. Or for other tobacco. Or even just as a gesture of friendship.

See also the discussion thread at Pipes Magazine forums.

If this interests you, email tobacco@deathmetal.org and let us work out a trade.

28 thoughts on “The Metal Mixtures”

  1. Pelayo says:

    Underground trading of goods and the construction of reliable networks based on personal experience with individuals should be our priority.

    1. Will trade tobacco for fissionable materials.

      1. Pelayo says:

        Cause problems!

  2. thomasw says:

    smashing idea

  3. Anthony says:

    I’m not much of a tobacco user but find these articles interesting. Do you happen to know if that breath smoking technique can be used with cigars?

    1. Anthony says:

      Specifically the technique from the video in that intro article

    2. I am not a cigar expert, but if the cigar is small enough that you can form a seal around it with your lips, it could be attempted. It seems to me that the regulating factor there is that you may need a more aggressive draw on some cigars, varying with quality. However, the basic concept — slowly infuse smoke into the mouth for maximum enjoyment — is the same.

  4. Necronomeconomist says:

    #tobaccometal

  5. Ggallin1776 says:

    The fda regs are unconstitutional,they even go after free speech.there is a protest organized for oct in dc,good time to show up in front of the fda headquarters with a bullhorn & let them know they can go fuck themselves.they have recently been telling congress to go stick it,showing that the fda is not only outdated but lawless & needs to go.

  6. zobi says:

    smoking is for the weak.

    1. Hræsvelgr says:

      Sodomize the weak by means of their own pipes!

      1. Do you mean, let the weak sodomize themselves?

        Lung cancer isn’t effective selection pressure, because smokers have enough time to spawn offspring before they die of it

        1. Sexy Homo says:

          Ludvig B.B, you seem like a nice kid that loves to suck cocks.

        2. trystero says:

          Please come back

        3. Hræsvelgr says:

          “Do you mean, let the weak sodomize themselves?”

          No, I mean: let’s rip their pipes from their mouths and shove them up their arses, over and over and over again, until they cum blood and fæces!

      2. Oh, you meant it more literally: to shove their own pipes up their asses.

    2. Rainer Weikusat says:

      Live as bad for your health. It’s going to kill you.

  7. Axl Rosenberg says:

    What do you guys think of death metal band Broken Hope’s first two records? Their first was released in 1991 so I guess it must be good.

    1. They’re solid, but remind me more of a detuned Kiss than death metal. Great for hard rock fans!

  8. Paul Warkin says:

    This prompted me to try out the Massacra that had been rehabilitating until now after arriving too dry. Half a pipeful has left me nearer to death already; this is stronger than the Irish Oak I’ve been smoking lately. Wonderful room note, the lingering smell is reminiscent of spending the night next to a fire in the woods.

    Someone should blend a My Mixture to the Stars composed mostly of rustica and Latakia–strong and with thick smoke to shroud the vicinity in darkness.

    1. Irish Oak is wonderful however… the best of the Va/Pers perhaps.

  9. Hotlips says:

    I would smoke the whole rainforest, if I could.

  10. OliveFox says:

    Man, this is a really awesome idea. If i can kick these damn cigarettes and get pack to my pipes I would be in a much better mood. Perhaps ill email and see if that gives me the push back into pipes full time as opposed to switching back and forth every 6 months or so.

    My tins of St James Flake and Frog Morton just weren’t up to snuff…should have stayed loyal to my Peterson and Gaiwath brands.

    The Massacra and New London pique my interest for sure!

    1. There are some sweet and innocuous tobaccos which take denatured versions of classic blends and make them into candy for cuck basement neckbeards like the type of people you find on Tumblr and Reddit. I would avoid these.

      A good tobacco has some strength, decent flavor that does not obliterate the taste of the underlying leaf, and good burning properties so you can appreciate the first two categories. It also needs to be readily available and affordable, or it’s nonsense for yuppie high-rise lite jazz fans.

      If you’re in CONUSA, email me for samples.

  11. Rainer Weikusat says:

    or it’s nonsense for yuppie high-rise lite jazz fans.

    About 23 years ago, I was living in Kaiserslautern which had two nice features at that time, a ‘metal disco’ event on Wednesdays (something I haven’t encountered again since then) and a weekly Jazz evening in a small high-street pub. That was at the time when US military bases were still commonplace in Germany and in addition to the whoever the regular players were, people used to come over from the barracks with instruments and join in. That was very nice live music (the pub was usually packed), especially as I was allowed to stay there until the gig/ session ended despite I usually couldn’t afford more than a single beer. Not exactly a ‘yuppie’ place or audience.

    Events like this seem to have vanished since then, though, and nowadays, ‘jazz’ usually means ‘folk audiences’ …

  12. Cobguy says:

    Brett has worked some real magic with these Metal Mixture pipe blends. I’ve been smoking quite awhile and prefer my tobacco strong and not adulterated with foo-foo flavors. Massacra and Hellhammer get special mention as my favorites. Extremely well done, my friend!

Comments are closed.