Dream Theater – Distance Over Time (2019)

If there is anything impressive about the music Dream Theater have been releasing for the past decade or so, it is the fact that just when one thinks they have reached a new nadir in pointless asinine cringe, they somehow manage to sink down to even further depths of banality with no apparent end in sight.

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Zloslut – Sahar

Zloslut is a Serbian Black metal that initially consisted of sole founding member Agnarion who had produced all the records by himself but here on Sahar, Agnarion is joined by a full band that changes the dynamic of this album compared to previous works. All the previous rough edges have been rounded out from the production all the way to the riffs themselves. While this does create a certain amount of sterility, it also allows the band the freedom to explore and to develop their own style.

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SMR – Battle upon the Summit of the Mental Hospital

When all the bands that were terrible fifteen years ago still release music, there is no way that the desperation and attention whoring won’t come out in the music. Here are some of the worst songs to curse metal not only in these times but since the birth of the genre itself.

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Nerlich – Defabricated Process

On Defabricated Process, the only album by this now resurrected Finnish death metal band, Nerlich exhibits very competent compositional skill, utterly obliterating the chronic masturbators who picked up a guitar and think they can play death metal, by putting their egos at bay to serve the piece, much like good musicians should do.

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Kawir – Exilasmos (2017)

Exilasmos (meaning ‘propitiation’) is the 7th album by Hellenic black metal band Kawir. This album signifies a dynamic return for the group with a very energetic blend of classic heavy metal and black metal, revealing glimpses of their way forward among the overused tropes of both genres.

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Malevolent Creation – The 13th Beast


Malevolent Creation return with an Immolation like attempt to gain new fans by playing simplified versions of their most famous works while simplifying their ideas as much as possible in order to attract as many newcomers as possible. Legendary vocalist Brett Hoffmann recently died after a long battle with colon cancer and though he had left more than 2 years ago, this is the band’s first record with new singer Lee Wollenschlaeger. Mediocrity is combined with constant blasting to make a purely forgettable record.

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Hecate Enthroned – Embrace of the Godless Aeon

Hecate Enthroned are known for being second fiddle to Cradle of Filth within the UK black metal scene and have followed their footsteps into third rate Black metal generally in the ridiculously named «Symphonic Black metal» style which is a complete lack of riffcraft being overcompensated by simple keyboard melodies. For those who are unfamiliar with this band, their 1997 release The Slaughter of Innocence, a Requiem for the Mighty was decent if at times inconsistant Black metal and is their summit. Their latest release sees an uninspired band attempt to reconcile cookie-cutter Blackened Death metal with the newer post rock elements that have invaded Black metal to create one of the worst excuses of Black metal to have ever existed.

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Cult of the Horns – Chapter I – Domination

Cult of the Horns are a French one man band from Bordeaux with one full length released to this day. The band’s aesthetic is that of the typical NWN “goat-something” band but beyond the corpse paint and cheesy titles lies an honest combination of Death and Black metal which unique band member Mephisto makes an honest attempting at fusing both genres and though this record fails at times, there are a lot of interesting particularities, making this an above average listen.

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SMR – Ihsahn’s Couch Edition

Ihshan’s sofa courtesy of Guest Contributor

Taking a brief look at the marketing tropes of the funderground in 2018 and having some fun in the process. Some bands are okay. Some others not so. Most are not even metal by any standards.

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