Roman Salutes Are Too Evil For Watain

At the end of last year, we predicted that overt satanic lyrics and themes in metal would see their last days. There is no band that will accelerate this quicker than goofball circus act Watain, who market themselves as the evilest band in the world by LARPing as an American biker gang and staying in character through all media interactions. By doing so, they can act like they’re more “trve” than Dimmu Borgir and Dark Funeral despite being even more campy than both in their music and aesthetics.

But in the most cowardly of moves, the band kicked out the only credible member- former Dissection guitarist Set Teitan- because a picture of him doing a Nazi salute surfaced on the internet.  Though the band hides behind the lame excuse that “he left so we wouldn’t have to talk about politics,” it’s clear that the move was desperation on the part of Watain as they struggle to preserve their cash grab machine.  But regardless of whether lefties decide to shutdown Watain’s freak show carnival tour, the band will never survive this incident as the few supporters they had will likely realize that Watain are as timid as they come.

Make no mistake, I’m not at all defending what Set Teitan did, as all Hitler/Nazi LARPing is a corny stunt pulled by fat redneck rejects so they can feel extreme from their mom’s shed.  Instead, I’m celebrating as the Watain scam will finally lose all traction and the band will soon be homeless and broken in the streets.  Though they thought themselves to be instruments of the devil, they ultimately did a better job serving God by destroying the satanic metal scene from within.

The Watain lie began when three losers clung to the ridiculous rumors surrounding Quorthon and Bathory in the 80’s- that he was a witch, that he murdered children and performed evil magic rituals.  When Quorthon admitted that he was just a simple guy making music in his record executive dad’s garage and that his faith was actually pagan, Watain just couldn’t let go of their nerdy little devilworshipper child fantasies.  This was probably due to Watain being beat up at school and rejected by metalheads that were more rational about reality.  In any case, Watain’s members were determined to try and live out the character that a fake metal media created about a pretty down to Earth Swede.

In 2000, years after the satanism of the Norwegian black metal circle” was proven to be a fake publicity stunt, Watain formed as an attempt  to “be more serious” as a band than their peers.  By more serious, they meant more campy in their goofy stage performances and ridiculous interviews.  In any case, the band was received as another medicore band in an age where creativity and metal was on life support.

But in 2006, a decisive change of events occurred.  Dissection singer/guitarist Jon Nodveidt  committed suicide in what he alleged to be a “ritual death because he accomplished everything he wanted” but in reality was probably due to his Reinkaos album being rejected by the entirety of the metal scene at the time.  Watain saw two things- a man more masculine, occult, and sinister that they can ever be- and a business opportunity to capitalize off of the Dissection sound and MARKET THEMSELVES as being as evil and badass as Nodtveidt/Dissection.  The band actually fooled a number of metalheads into this by recruiting Dissection’s last surviving guitarist (Teitan) and changing their style to be a poor ripoff of the Reinkaos sound.  They also stole all of the Dissection aesthetics- the Neptune tridents, the Reinkaos artwork style, and the biker vests.  By doing so, they were able to monetarily capitalize off of a metal scene grieving the death of one of the greatest guitar players and vocalists that death metal would ever come to know.

For years, this Dissection-lite marketing scheme worked as many were fooled into buying Watain albums.  But as the years went by, it was clear Watain were just tame gay beta males posing as Nodveidt/Quorthon-teir metal.  The evilest band in the world weren’t too evil to accept a Grammy award, or do goofy high quality photo shoots in jungle makeup, or let their record executives troll them by suggesting they sing a country rock song on their 2013 album The Wild Hunt.  

By 2018, Watain were a laughingstock.  They were such an embarrassment that the forum of Nuclear War Now Productions, the stomping ground for occultist virgin neckbeards,  announced they would ban anyone who posted about Watain.  In a desperate attempt to win back their support, they changed their entire sound from Dissection ripoff to Revenge ripoff and released a terrible Revenge-lite album.  But it was too late- everyone knew Watain was a joke, a parody of 80s Bathory and the Norway black metal circle, and ultimately evil in image only.

Watain immediately caving over the Set Tetian photo (within 24 hours of it going online) to appease their record label is a contradiction to every lyric the band has ever written.  The act was absolute submission, but instead of submitting to their supernatural creator they have submitted to greedy record executives who will milk them for every penny and leave them for dead.  Of course Set ran with the type of characters that Jon Nodveidt hung out with in prison: such behavior shouldn’t be surprising to the Watain members that had toured with him for so many years.  They knew, but it clearly didn’t bother them as long as the money was coming in.

At the end of the day, Watain’s entire career wasn’t about satanism or darkness or being evil.  It was about money, the likes of which bands like Watain see very little of.  Think about it… music groups that make money (pop artists) have done way more to subvert society and corrupt individuals with amorality than any black metal band ever did.  Therefore Lil Wayne and Miley Cyrus have created more evil than any Watain member in their marketing of teenage pregnancy,  STDs, dirtbag drugs, and progressive liberal values.  Bands like Inquisition and Watain are about as evil as a deck of magic the gathering cards and only serve to keep the losers who still play such laughable games stuck in permanent virginity.  Despite all their worship and ritual, Satan has done nothing to protect Watain and Inquisition from poverty and the oncoming plague of social justice warriors.  They were fooled into a few years of micro celebrity status and urinated into a sewer drain soon after.

By merely existing, Watain make a great case for Christianity.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

38 thoughts on “Roman Salutes Are Too Evil For Watain”

  1. Fake Brett Stevens says:

    The best way to get Brock Drowsey out of here is to leave the comments section of each of his posts ABSOLUTELY VACANT [this post aside].

      1. canadaspaceman says:

        The best way to get Fake Brett Stevens out of here is to find him and strap him naked to a tree, so raccoons eat his ass. He will like that.

  2. Brock, the MetalSucks reject says:

    “all Hitler/Nazi LARPing is a corny stunt pulled by fat redneck rejects so they can feel extreme from their mom’s shed.”

    The irony of this isn’t lost to me. All in all its a great article and I enjoyed it very much.

    Desu Vult!

  3. DEUS VULT says:

    Brock Dorsey is the best thing that has happened to this site.

  4. CJ says:

    What a pussy move Set was wearing a blasphemy shirt anyway.

  5. Mortician and war metal says:

    Well Set is Italian, so doing a Roman salute kinda makes sense doesn’t it?

  6. raising a devil horns salute is homo compared to a Roman/”nazi” salute

  7. Charles Stuart says:

    Some snippets from an interview with Danielsson –
    “Black metal will always be surrounded by controversy. It evokes energies. It thrives upon powers that are counteractive to what people view as law and order and ethics and so on. What I do need to underline here, because here is where people get it wrong: one of the greatest evils that people today know, be it an alternative culture or in conservative government halls, is Nazi Germany and Anti-Semitists and all of that. [Laughs] There’s an extremely important line to draw there, and I’ve realized that that’s the only devil that people know these days.”

    Basically he admits that Watain are not black metal. They are shunning controversy. They are withering when confronted with power that is counteractive to what people view as law, ethics, etc. They are rejecting the only devil that they admit exists in the modern world. They are shying away from the most evil thing they admit to be in existence.

    1. Rainer Weikusat says:

      Here’s the bit you ‘somehow’ missed:

      That is the one thing you cannot glorify. The Anti-Semitic and right-wing conservative connections that people have long accused black metal to be a platform for have very little to do with what we stand for. To me, it should be quite obvious that we would have been some of the first people to be executed in the Third Reich with the whole idea of the National Socialists being based upon a kingdom of bright-eyed little Aryans, and we are quite honestly the very opposite of that.

      This is then followed by

      [Laughs] There’s an extremely important line to draw there, and I’ve realized that that’s the only devil that people know these days.
      </blockquote)

      http://www.invisibleoranges.com/interview-erik-danielsson-of-watain-2/

      And this doesn't lend itself to your interpretation. (Over-)Simplified, Danielssons statement was "Black metal is about forces people believe to be evil. The only real-world 'evil force' people know about nowadays are Nazis, hence, people assume that black metal and Nazis must be naturally affine to each other, however, people are just ignorant and it ain't so".

      NB: I don't like Watain and I do consider their comic-like style rather laughable. But that's besides the point in this context.

    2. Svmmoned says:

      Yeah, I wonder what is their notion of evil and satan, what so profound or terrifying they have to show? Because they must have been hiding it, as it is absent in their music.

  8. Svmmoned says:

    Satan Is A Jew (Message For The Children) (I Mean, The Evil Ones)

  9. Dispirited says:

    He should have made a video where he cried like a pussy and claimed it was because of alcohol. Phil Anselmo did it, and everyone quickly forgave that retard. But they don’t make that kind of money; if they were Pantera, all they would need is an apology to create mass amnesia and keep the cash cow alive.

    All of these pseudo ‘Kvlt’ musicians are viewed as disposable clones by the system they have chosen to work within, and rightly so; Their musical skills are average at best and so that makes them easily replaceable; they lack any creativity in composing, writing boring generic shit, and that’s only when they’re don’t shamelessly plagiarising someone else’s work.

    It would take more than generic pseudo satanic bands to make a “great” case for Christianity or any similar monotheistic cults. Sadly, as long as retarded bands like Watain exist, irreligious kids will keep on finding meaning in fake consumerist Satanism, Beer drinking and stoner Rock, New Age woo woo, and Star Wars, all as an attempt of replacing the faith of their parents instead of embracing the world as it is and turning away from childish fantasies.

  10. Brock you are the best !!

    long live Tucker Carlson and Sean Hannity, all hail the great Rush Limbaugh !!

    By the way… Brock, please do review Jacobs Dream first album. It is great heavy metal and the lyrics seem acquire ever more relevance in the times that we are living.

    Thank you

    JACOBS DREAM
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yll_ZxXnTP0&ab_channel=windrider1986

    1. canadaspaceman says:

      Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh are kosher conservatives. Though, they are good starters for the average person who questions the insane policies of the shyster government.
      Once the citizen learns things are wrong, then the really start to study and dig in.
      I used to get pissed off after I learned more and noticed these AM radio guys would not go far enough;
      but these right wing radio hosts that are “acceptable” to the establishment are beneficial.

  11. dead butt dreaming says:

    Lmao

    The only impermissible sin is taking a stance against jews

    Faggiest band of all time, gayer than the literal homos in JP and emperor

    1. canadaspaceman says:

      what many people fail to see is DRESSING UP as a biker can lead you into physical conflicts with real biker gang members.
      Probably the last dudes you want to think of you as a poser.

      1. dead butt dreaming says:

        Nothing wrong with wearing leathers unless you actually don’t ride, then you’re just a faggot

        If you get in trouble with a gang it’s because you did something to deserve it, they don’t look for trouble

        Unless they’re white or latino and your bunch isn’t

        1. canadaspaceman says:

          I was just going on the info I read online the past few years of wannabe bikers getting clocked, but you are probably right.
          It was YEARS ago, but the few Hells Angels I met were pretty quiet and somewhat social and not the assholes that Hollyweird makes them out to be. I would never want to start anything with any of them. You know, the kind of guys that never say anything, but have no problem snapping a neck in a second.

          They seemed more like businessmen that wore denim and leather. They associated with white power guys, but didn’t really care, and said politics/race did not mean much to them.

          1. Rainer Weikusat says:

            Dangerous people know that they’re dangerous. Why would they waste their time posing?

            People who do are nothing but a pest.

            ——-

            There used to be a band called Motorhead,

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngVRbyk_R7Y

            Reportedly, Motorhead is “early 1970s” slang for “someone who’s very much in love with amphetamines”. Thank god it wasn’t cocaine. The name would have to have been Motormouth instead.

            1. Jerry Hauppa says:

              I’ll paypal you five American dollars for every post you make in the future that doesn’t have a completely random aside shoehorned into the end of it.
              You’re capped at 20 bucks. Make your next four posts count!

              1. Rainer Weikusat says:

                The joke is worth posting in itself (although my somewhat bizarre sense of humour is probably not for everyone), but mostly, this is dedicated to a bunch of “funny guys” who pseudo-picked a pseudo-quarrell with a certain doorman on Friday I strongly suspect to have been in “talking fast of yer own greatness!” mode due to intoxication by a suitable agent.

                There’s a real lot of them, especially on holiday weekends, and they do surely conform to every Hollyword taff guy stereotype unless confronted by anything resembling an actual force. Then, they become very talkaktive and persuasive. They also have some other, unpleasant hobbies like walking into crowded places and stealing stuff because this demonstrates bravado. To easily impressed women half their size at least.

                And real people do none of this.

                1. Jerry Hauppa says:

                  Since you met me halfway and made a post that was entirely an aside, I guess I owe you two dollars.
                  Follow the goddamn instructions. No one cares for half measures.

                  1. Rainer Weikusat says:

                    I should have known the explanantion would be hopeless.

                    1. Jerry Hauppa says:

                      You’re up to $6 now. I’m proud of you!

            2. No Life 'Till Death says:

              Was this a jab at Motorhead? If so, I applaud you.

              1. Rainer Weikusat says:

                No.

                IMHO, Motorhead was a rock band and I don’t usually listen to it but like it when I do. It was a jab at “hellraiser” types in cocaine-overdrive as compared to, well, real people who may be into all kinds of semilegal or illegal activities at a certain level and who one shouldn’t cross intentionally but who don’t play-act “semi-controlled, aggressive maniac”.

          2. dead butt dreaming says:

            I hang out at pubs where blacks hang out across the room from guys wearing “white pride worldwide” shirts

            Anybody with a lifestyle revolving around riding have mutual respect for another rider

            Passion precedes politics

            Four wheels move the body, but two wheels move the soul

            I trust a black power gangster (i’m white) more than a white guy in a business suit

            Honest people just get along, passion prewhoda thunk

            Bottom line is don’t be a poser faggot and you’ll be fine wherever you go whoever you’re with

            Waitain would probably get their ass kicked if they tried to hang in American biker spots, cuz they look like they might have good drugs on them

            1. No Life 'Till Death says:

              This post was really fucking gay, especially the remark about wheels. I nominate you as a certified cock wrangler.

              1. dead butt dreaming says:

                Aye that big motor thrummin away between me legs just gets me guts burnin

        2. No Life 'Till Death says:

          Does riding dick count?

  12. ass donuts says:

    “Make no mistake, I’m not at all defending what Set Teitan did, as all Hitler/Nazi LARPing is a corny stunt pulled by fat redneck rejects so they can feel extreme from their mom’s shed.”

    nice virtue-signal.
    So wait, are they rednecks (implying extroversion and strong social cohesion) or are they ‘rejects living in mom’s basement’ (implying introversion and alienation)? Mixing up strawmen like this is what happens when you slip into mindless word salad. amateur mistake

  13. Shlomo Dorseberger says:

    Oy vey

    1. canadaspaceman says:

      Hey Schlomo,
      Mike Myers is still pissed off there was no margarine for his bagels in catering, you bastard.

  14. David Goldhoffstein says:

    Oy vey!

    1. canadaspaceman says:

      Goldhoffstein, your mama phoned and said you forgot to take your inhaler to your saxophone lessons, or you will have an asthma attack… and we wouldn’t want that..
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_Br9ctDjQU

  15. Anti-semitism: How the Jew cucks the goyim says:

    Hail Satan, crush the Christendom, genocide & misanthropy for man, woman, child but as soon as you mention the Jew…Oh lord no! That’d would be antisemitic & we just can’t have that.How could you be so insensitive & hate-filled? Repent for your wrongthink! Then they guilt trip you with the holohoax & a long list how the were “persecuted” by every one under the sun.

    Not that I expect LARPing faggots in bands like this to actually have a spine & take a stand.

    More proof that the Talmudic Zionists have the entire Western world by their collective ball sack.

  16. Dirk says:

    The irony is that rap music is constantly singing about all the terribly unethical things they do to get $, but as soon as a white person even hints at something historically wrong, they get crucified. With a band like this I tend to focus on the actual musical presentation. Black metal is too much of a circus act already, and a big problem is people take it too seriously , and should view it as performance art, not a lifestyle.

Comments are closed.


Notice: Use of undefined constant screen_reader_text - assumed 'screen_reader_text' in /opt/bitnami/apache2/htdocs/wp-content/themes/deathmetal2017/single.php on line 25
Classic reviews:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z