Sadistic Metal Reviews 12-30-2016

Urosepsis – Spewing Rancid Body Fluid (2016)
Whoa a competent brutal death metal demo! Urosepsis competently arrange their riffs from one to the other; the main problem is the lack of sense of cartharsis or melodic conclusion in the songwriting.

Valdrin – Beyond the Forest (2014)
Beyond The Forest is the missing link between Arpeggios from Hell and Dimmu Borgir in the “current year” two years ago (2014). Riff salad. Spooky overdone Halloween vocalizations. Eerie mid-song interludes suited for a grim face full of piercings and a decrepit body covered in cheap tattoos. Refined cheese; grated by clowns. Fecal pap. Wikipedia synopsis of Edgar Allan Poe. Bob Dole’s paralyzed arm meets Satyricon. Texture for the sake of texture. Metal Archives’ David Rosales pre-DMU exposure (2012). Peckerwood trite. Clueless riff-weaving. [B]lack metal by those who don’t comprehend black metal. It is true that what’s undone can be done, but what’s been done here cannot be undone — and cannot be forgiven. Avoid at all costs.

Azooma – The Act of Eye (2016)
Random technical deaf metal appropriating Morbid Angel, Death, Gorguts, and Slayer riffs into verse chorus verse rock songs with softer choruses like Opeth. Garbage.

Vader – The Empire (2016)
Vader revert to short, choppy verse chorus verse speed metal songs to play to as many Wacken goers as possible. Riffs mainly are Slayer “inspired” as usual. Idiotic Return of the Jedi meets Scream Bloody Gore cover too.

Siaskel – Haruwen Airen (2016)
“Blackened death metal” Verse chorus verse rock music attempting to uphold some extinct native culture that was exterminated and assimilated by Europeans. If this crap is the best your imagined ancestral culture could inspire, then:

When all is said and done
There’s no love lost.
– Jeff Walker, Carcass.

Barbarian Swords – Worms (2016)
Black metal slowed down stoner degenerates.

Brutal Unrest – Trinitas (2017)
Brutal death “metal” vocal driven carnival rock music with lame riffs.

Cerebral Fix – Disaster of Reality (2016)
Here’s a crossover comeback nobody asked for. More fifty somethings singing about skateboarding and sniffing glue back when they were teenagers. Riffs are generic, band is old and sluggish, how delighful.

Partholón – Follow Me Through Body (2016)
Hipster emo music pretending to be metal for urban dwelling twenty somethings without a Hot Topic nearby.

Tragic Cause – No Restraint (2016)
Pantera influenced beatdown metalcore for cargo shorts wearers. Generic speed metal riffing slowed down with breakdowns for maximum crane kicking. Tragic Cause’s success is a tragically lost cause.

Bloodspot – To The Marrow (2016)
Celtic Frost influenced crossover party thrash with gang vocals and glam rock solos. This is the type of shitty metal that cokehead juiced-up Bud Lighters with barbed wire tattoos listen to in their Kias.

Morbitory – Into The Morbitory (2016)
Deathcore band attempted to play primitive death metal like Grave or Autopsy. Fails horribly. Add some whiny vocals and uptune the guitars and Morbitory could play the Warped Tour.

Phobiatic – Phobiatic (2016)
Deathcore. Die

Laster – Ons vrije fatum (2016)
Post-hardcore with gang vocals attempting to be black metal for a Pitchfork audience.

Paganland – From Carpathian Land (2016)
Lame flowing black ‘n’ roll. This is what Stalin wanted to get rid of by deliberately starving Ukrainian peasants in the 1930s.

Balance Interruption – Door 218 (2016)
Metalcore pretending to be black metal. Break their balance and push them offstage to break their legs.

Mordskog – XIII (2016)
Vocal driven rock music pretending to be black metal.

Inquiring Blood – Morbid Creation (2016)
Morbid Angel meets Gothenburg and Godsmack for an MTV2 audience in 2004.

Witchtrap – Sorceress Bitch (2002)
Witchtrap? Is that some kind of transvestite neo-pagan? Did Witchtrap cut their dick off assacrifice to the earth mother? The emasculated Teutonic speed metal they play sure sounds like it.

Trepanation – Saturn (2016)
Papa Roach + Creed.

Shambles – Realm of Darkness Shrine (2016)
Caverncore Incantation wannabe with no memorable riffs that goes nowhere. These guys couldn’t even get on Dark Descent.

Craving – By The Storm (2016)
Queer vocally driven power metal failure with McDonald’s commercial jingle riffs as played through PC speakers circa 1994.

Heavy Temple – Chassit (2016)
Generic uninspired stoner rock that sounds like total shit. Coming soon to the bar Heavy Temple bus tables in.

Wound – Morbid Paradigm (2016)
Crossover thrash meets Slaughter of the Soul.

Iron Bastards – Fast & Dangerous (2016)
Motorhead for square-dancing.

Revelations Of Rain – Akrasia (2016)
Death ‘n’ roll meets stoner doom for turning it off and catching some ZZZZZZZZZs.

Condenados – The Tree of Death (2016)
Christian rock pretending to be Black Sabbath for South American Catholics drinking all the Kool-Aid.

Draugsól – Volaða Land (2016)
Lame Enslaved worship meets speed metal with tons of butt rock solos for air guitar fundergrounders and hipsters. This is Vice Noisey bait. Toss it in the trash.

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4 thoughts on “Sadistic Metal Reviews 12-30-2016”

  1. lost wizdom says:


    Another of Daniel’s famous Freudian slips.

    1. Like art fats. All those dudes are junkie thin or drape scarves and shit around their flab unlike the the Kreator fans wearing XXL t shirts.

  2. Reactionary Reasons says:

    Urosepsis’ demo does sound promising. It reminds me a whole lot of Inveracity (which is to say they remind me of Deeds of Flesh [which in turn is to say that they ultimately remind me of Suffocation]).

    Yet the review is correct, there certainly is a developmental shortcoming mucking about, especially in the melodic department. The songs simply just end, no climax, rise or real “breakdown” for that matter . They simply need to flesh out their structure a bit. 6/10.

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