Sadistic Metal Reviews: 3-24-2017

Will every single one of these bands eventually get AIDS? Let’s find out!

Comatose – The Ultimate Revenge (2015)
Comatose are Filipino Deicide, Vader, and Sinister worship with shred leads and direct rip-offs of Slayer‘s “Raining Blood” in riff salad songs. Comatose are yet another imitation of an imitations of imitations of imitations! If you want more Deicide past the first four albums, listen to LuciferionDemonication (The Manifest)The Ultimate Revenge is worse than that. Comatose have potential: one way forward would be for Comatose to work the melodies of the leads directly into the riffs instead of playing monkey see, monkey do with their influences. Comatose could move beyond competent enough to not be thrown off a cliff into good if they string those together into melodic riff maze narratives like black metal. However if they regress to death ‘n’ roll convulsions, they should get AIDS and die!

Insanity Cult – Of Despair and Self-Destruction (2017)
Insanity Cult play generic droning blackened metalcore similar to Sargeist with riffing “inspired” (lifted) from Burzum, Darkthrone, and Gorgoroth. Songs Of Despair and Self-Destruction consist of riffs that drone on for a few minutes with a few variations so the vocalist can screech the lyrics until a dramatic bridge or second riff to conclude the overextended song. Insanity Cult resembles Tarnkappe if Tarnkappe played emo music whose goal was to make you cry in the shower instead of surviving harsh winters and triumphing over barbarian hordes. Insanity Cult have potential to eventually become a competent band if they drop all elements of emotional hardcore along with the forced and abrupt rock song structures, string their riffs together better to make a musical point other than “Hey these riffs that sound like they’re from 1992 sort of fit together if played sequentially!” Oh and write your own material rather than imitate your influences! Right now Of Despair and Self-Destruction deserves a solid zero point zero. If Insanity Cult insist on releasing more of this screamo horseshit, then Insanity Cult should get AIDS and die.

Hereza – I Become Death (2017)
Hereza play a sort of aggressive speed metal rooted deathcore featuring extensive use of samples like Mortician. All of the songs on I Become Death follow a strict verse-chorus-verse rock song template as utilized by the shittier speed metal bands back in the eighties. Hereza however manage to at least keep the energy up. Hardcore kids could punch someone in the face to I Become Death. Hessians will rightfully tell Hereza to Get AIDS and die as they sound like Benediction on a bad day.

Lorn – Arrayed Claws (2017)
Ambient post-hardcore pretending to be black metal in horrifically boring overlong songs. Get AIDS and die.

Todesstoss – Ebne Graum (2017)
Ebne Graum is a forty five minute long dark ambient track released by the label and Todesstoss to satisfy no desires but their own pretensions at being perceived by metalheads as intelligent and “deep”. Metalheads think Todesstoss are pretenious hipster wankers who should get AIDS and die.

Tome of the Unreplenished – Cosmoprism: The Theurgy – Act I (2017)
More pretenious hipster drone ambient crap pretending to be black metal. Get AIDS and die.

Aksaya – Kepler (2016)
Aksaya play slowed down generic Metallica and Megadeth worshiping speed metal with influences from Gothenburg black metal and Norwegian bands like Enslaved. Aksaya closely resemble a Gothenburg version of Pantera. Get AIDS and die.

Conceived By Hate – Death & Beyond (2016)
More Gothenburg melodeaf meets speed metal singalongs! Get AIDS and die.

Ur – Hail Death (2016)
Random versed pop rock carnival music with superficial metal aesthetics for idiots. Get AIDS and die.

Haxxan – Loch Ness Rising (2017)
Generic slow sing along black ‘n’ roll atop Hellhammerisms. Get AIDS and die.

Inexorable – Sea of Dead Consciousness (2017)
Inexorable do not play death metal; Inexorable play random dissonant technical math rock. Sea of Dead Consciousness has influences from Obscura incarnation of Gorguts and the Steve Tucker fronted incarnation of Morbid Angel but nostalgia cannot save shitty music. Get AIDS and die.

Morbid Messiah – In the Name of True Death Metal (2017)
Mexican cargo cult death ‘n’ roll copy of Sadistic Intent. “Fuck you all?” Get AIDS and die from your flagrant sexual hedonism.

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4 thoughts on “Sadistic Metal Reviews: 3-24-2017”

  1. Kvädare says:

    Tome of the Unreplenished – Cosmoprism: The Theurgy – Act I

    The title alone is an informative review of this music. Yikes.

    1. More fuel for the fire. Our outrage against this pretentious crap and/or clear cut sonic mental retardation will usher in a new era of hateful music and culture. Mark my words. Like that decadent bullshit that got thoroughly sodomized in the mid 70s by the punk movement. History repeats itself.

  2. Reduced Without Any Effort says:

    These posts are like filler tracks in a modern metal album pumped out for the sake of pumping something out (the reference to masturbation here is intentional) – they take up 95% of the space, contain 0% of the substance, and go on for too long. I don’t think many people go to to read about shitty albums that nobody including underground death metal fans listen to or care about. A full post like this may be warranted if these were albums anyone actually listened to or revered. Consider condensing these into footnotes in the articles that actually have substance (ex: by the way, we listened to these albums and they sucked).

  3. GGALLIN1776 says:

    Top pic : Maxine Waters

    Bottom pic: her cunt

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