Upcoming Blasphemy Rehearsal Cassette

Diabolicurst Productions are releasing a cassette of a Blasphemy rehearsal for idiots everywhere.

This is meant for the Nuclear War Now! Productions war metal manlets with three-inch weiners who overcompensate by buying metal merch and getting shitty tattoos. Stick to Blasphemy‘s albums and demos as gym music and ignore this cash grab.

Where are my Blasphemy branded lifting gloves and shoes Blasphemy? You only have gym shorts. You could sell so much Blasphemy gym merchandise! The fans have your CDs already; they want apparel for Satanic weightlifting sessions so make them a full line of men’s active-wear apparel!

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21 thoughts on “Upcoming Blasphemy Rehearsal Cassette”

  1. asdfghjkl says:

    meh, this is the rehearsal where they sold out. Only the unrecorded rehearsal the band did one day before they formed is trve.

  2. #556 says:

    Hi Dan, I don’t know where you’re getting the stats from but this 3 inches business is incorrect and if that’s all you’ve been getting than I suggest the war metal scene has short changed you. As I said before, we only sub-contract but shoot us an email and I’ll see if I can get big Elroy to go around there and make it up to you. As a side note the Ross Bay thongs are about 6 months off, I’ll get in touch with you again when we start pre-orders. Cheers.

  3. matters says:

    Satanic lifting sessions are the best lifting sessions!

    1. Erekt says:

      Squat rack sodomy

  4. Blasphemy is news.

    1. Ghoulish Haver of Thai Toilet Spycam Porn says:

      For some reason. Clean up FOAD’s production, add a bunch of low end, and it’s nu-metal.

      1. Gorgowocoa says:

        For some other reason not at all though

  5. neutronhammer says:

    They’re shitting on whatever little was left of their legacy of pioneering a metal style. I’m reconsidering ever owning a legal copy of FOAD.

    1. Kake says:

      Shitting on their legacy by unearthing old rehearsal tapes? It’s actually pretty impressive that they’ve been able to maintain such a strong fan-base purely through re-releases and live shows. To hell with bands needing to progress (which almost always means selling out)

  6. ee e e says:

    Not owning FOAD is the basic litmus test for FAGGOTRY as far as noble and wise men are concerned. Not prepared to throw down some basic bestial worship? would rather that fuckin melodic pitter-patter shit? then I’ll see your broken ass being stretchered into A&E department. What side are you faggots on anyway?

    1. ee e e says:

      The lives of those who don’t respect blasphemy mean nothing to my crew and I

    2. War Metal Sodomy (Level 51 General) says:

      Real men listen to Blasphemy very loud while hate fucking trannies.

      1. Gorgowocoa says:

        You mean fucking hating the existence of trannies? or fucking their physical bodies with a heart full of hate?? i.e. fucking them roughly etc wearing a strap-on gauntlet dildo while doing it??? etc etc

        do let me know warbrethren (the answer is more important than most sub 47s realize)

        1. War Metal Sodomy (Level 54 Commander) says:

          I mean vigorously sodomizing their assholes for being pussies.

          1. Homo War Metal Gigolo says:

            That sounds fucking gay, where do I sign up?

      2. Robert says:

        Speaking of fucking…look how sexy Caller of the Storms looks! Yum!

    3. bustin makes me feel good says:

      the backside

  7. Morbideathscream says:

    Pointless release. As the articles states, just stick with their albums and Blood Upon The Altar demo. Unless this is a legendary rehearsal of sorts and captures an exceptionally good sound for a rehearsal there’s no point in spending money on it. Reissuing Blood Upon The Altar on tape would make more sense.

  8. ben umanov's dildo dradel says:

    Only fart breathing ego ejaculate-rage monkeys listen to this shite.

    1. Gorgowocoa says:

      You deserve to be forcibly held down and then have each member of Blasphemy fart directly into your nostrils. The last guy will punch your lights out for you to finish it up. If you don’t wake up you get to be reincarnated as a monkey.

  9. Nathan Metric says:

    Unless it is equal or better quality than the old Die Hard Rehearsal than I ain’t getting it. That was the most illegal sounding recording ever made. Way better than FOAD.

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