Contrarian Gay Trolling

1magodeozoficial

Article by Gonzalo Gallina.

In 1996, Spanish rock band Mago de Oz released their most acclaimed latin-rock-underground albums, Jesus de Chamberi. Like most things coming from modern Latin countries, it has difficulty defining itself. Representative of the modern cultural confusion of Hispania, Mago de Oz presents the audience with a mixed bag of rock ala Dio, reggae, and eighties bar heavy rock, while borrowing some metal riffs and melodic leads here and there, and ocassionally overlaying folky tunes on a violin.

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New Adagio Album Available Whenever You Pay

adagio - stephan forte motley crue

Article by Jon Faugustus.

Adagio, the French progressive metal band lead by Stephan Forte, has announced a fundraiser campaign to record and produce their fifth album to be titled Life. Throughout their history, the band has evolved from a mystical power metal band with contemplative overtones, to a decent but understated prog metal surpassing the likes of Symphony X, to a progressively more obvious selling out with pop songs covered with their dark progressivisms.

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Sadistic Metal Review: Xoth – Hostile Terraforming (2014)

xoth hostile terraforming

Article by Lance Viggiano.

Hostile Terraforming is the result of a lot of instrumental practice and absolutely no artistic or even musical ambition. Every moment is technically precise in the pursuit of puritanically banal phrases which fake variation by playing the same motif in a higher octave. Cyclical song structures allow the players to shred freely while never needing to establish an emotive core. The EP lasts only as long as it takes for the musicians to run through every show-off-in-a-public-space rite of passage stylistic flair which is recited in the most obsessively canned manner – essentially a musical diet of Doritos and Pepsi. Like all such outfits, the drums are produced to resemble a typewriter thus ensuring maximum clarity so the listener can hear every soulless tap and click as the performer slavishly follows the guitar around like a gimp-clad submissive. Yes, there are musical pauses to give the bass guitar its obligatory solo which has no purpose within a greater melodic arc of the song; not that the drunk dive bar crowd notices or cares.

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Traversing the Underground: Roots and Origins

tolkien-tree

Article by David Rosales.

A trend in the modern conception of anything has been that the newer something else, the better we expect or assume it to be. Experience in reality, however, has also given rise to another perception: that the new tends to be worse and not better. Attempts at rationalizing this drive the pseudo-intellectual, pro-sheeple crowd to say that times just change, but ratios of quality do not vary. This is not only unscientific but an obvious politically correct answer that has as its premise that everyone is equal, and hence, that the resulting products of these “equal” people must also be probabilistically equal. Impermeable external influence seems to them the only changing factor, with the internal being either infinitely constant or practically negligible. This is assumed and then possible causes are haphazardly and desperately pieced together, the answer is assumed and then anything is either positive evidence or brushed aside if too problematic to incorporate into the fairy tale. Ignorance compounded with pretense and emotional insecurity always results in capricious imposition of an arbitrary and dogmatic concepts and scale of values.

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Sadistic Metal Review: Blliigghhtted – Into the Cunt of the Witch (2016)

into the cunt of the witch

Article by Lance Viggiano.

Into the Cunt of the Witch is grainy fatalistic pap embellished with agonizing atonal voids where music should exist. When the haze clears just enough for a melody to become audible it possesses a character of passivity and reception but is always intensely grating in its pointlessness. The tired corpse of speed metal and heavy metal drags lethargically through chromatic sections that form the locus of this work. Lightly struck syncopated rhythms are relied too heavily upon and flatten into a sterile ticking that results in a pure time keeping effect not unlike a distraught prisoner tallying his cell wall; tracking his sentence until his song merely ends – a fair metaphor for the experience of this record. Individual songs are parts of four whole works and do not stand well on their own; ending abruptly without proper conclusions before jumping into the next section in a greater cycle. Vocals operate in two essential modes: an apathetic crooning within artificial caverns as well as a faux-distraught occult street preacher reminiscent of contemporary orthodox/occult black metal.

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Former Pyrexia Vocalist Erick Shute Apprehended After Killing Three

Pyrexia performing with Erick Shute

Article by Max Bloodworth.

Erick Shute, the vocalist on brutal death metal band Pyrexia‘s last two albums, has been arrested in Pennsylvania today after supposedly murdering three outside of West Virginia’s Cacapon Resort State Park.

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Sadistic Metal Review: Sovereign – Nailing Shut the Sacrosanct Orifice (2014)

sovereign nailing shut the sacrosanct orifice

Article by David Rosales.

More Ghost Scooby-Doo music mixed with random Deathspell Omega retardation than cohesive and nuanced terror, Sovereign Nailing Shut the Sacrosanct Orifice presents yet another example of the many failures of modern black metal: pretentious in lyrical orientation, vacuous in concrete musical content, mediocre in the putting together of structures that form an intelligible narrative. The lyrics themselves, in any case, will appear cursorily written, superficial, and sensationalist for anyone that has delved semi-seriously into the subjects.

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Sadistic Metal Reviews: Pushing It All Out

unicorn poop

The Sadistic Metal Reviews are were we squeeze all the empty calories out of our guts into easily digestible packages for readers’ amusement. The leftovers are distributed to starving third world children to hasten their Malthusian death through infection with the type of drug-resistant bacteria that can only thrive in a Honey Bun.

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Nokturnal Mortum & Graveland – The Spirit Never Dies (2016)

graveland & nokturnal mortum

Article by David Rosales.

Splits are usually revealing for reasons the bands do not intend. By allowing their music to be placed alongside that of another band in a way that listening to them one after the other is not only encouraged but, in metal culture, almost mandatory, they make comparisons and judgements based on performance differences inevitable. The aim might be to publish a few tracks more efficiently and getting the music to more people since people who know one of the two bands will listen to the other band out of curiosity. The more zealous metal fans, however, are bound to make harsher judgements of anything that is placed too close to the band they follow.

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Defining Metal

Slayer hell awaits

Article by Lance Viggiano inspired by International Day of Slayer.

A candidate for the best work within a genre of music should capture every manifestation as best as it can and be able to answer the question: what is X? One might make the argument that the best album must capture the genre at its summit; still, that is a far more difficult essence to capture as in the case of metal, both black and death metal scaled adjacent but different peaks and therefore offer their own unique views of the same musical landscape.

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