This promotional contribution from the Social Justice Warrior-ridden Baltimore metal scene is terrible; it sounds like Pig Destroyer meets Christian metalcore. The anonymous local supplier bravely contributed a shocking report of a recent Bestial Evil show in Baltimore.
Shawn Wright knelt down of the floor of the Sidebar stage in Baltimore for Bestial Evil’s anti-fascist art performance. He wrestled the cassette tape of Mocking the Philanthropist roughly into his rectum in front of the glory hole drilled into the wall. Nick knelt at the other side and pushed a freshly frozen bowel movement through the drilled hole. Both licked it up and down with glee. Meanwhile on Shawn’s side of the divide, Evan and Kevin’s undersize penises convulsed and flailed with an almost seizure like intensity at the coprophilic site. They began to slap Shawn’s face. At times their pale members seemed to shift back and forth from one cheek to the other. A junkie crowd gathered almost immediately to watch Shawn suck and stroke these boys, interwining the shafts like a pair of pit-vipers. They were confused, or concerned, or shocked, or aroused, or all of the above. But no-one dared interfere with the performance. Shawn’s long, dyed with Just For Men hair hung down, concealing his face like a curtain around a hospital bed. No one had any idea that Kevin and Evan’s glans were revolving under his ruby tongue piercing. They soon burst and smeared their flaxen cream across Shawn’s double chin. Running his hand through his rentboy frosted tips, Nick with his hand stuffed crassly down the front of his pants exclaimed, “This is beautiful, this is art!”
Shawn lapped at the semen and said it tasted metallic like the crystal meth Bestial Evil had cooked up the prior day using the last of the CVS brand D cell batteries Kevin had looted in the riots last year. Evan and Kevin took drags off a cigarette butt picked up off the ground. Nick burst onstage, his face brown with melted feces and bleach blond hair milky with ejaculate. “Kevin is blackface okay when you use a black guy’s shit instead of shoe polish?”
“Of course as it humiliates the colonizing white slavers instead of the downtrodden and whipped African slaves.” lectured Kevin as he rolled the shit stick twice the size of his penis across Nick’s effeminate face. Jacob prepared Shawn’s asshole for the reparations using his drumsticks. He could only pry it a little wider before blood poured in from the wrecked rectal walls. The tape had to be pushed in deeper for the symbolic act to follow.
Evan stood in front of the gaping ravine. He was about to shoot up the last of his stash. Jamming the needle into the dorsal vein on the underside of his penis, his spent member instantly hardened. As he pressed down on the syringe, injecting the hot liquid heroin into his bloodstream, semen and blood surged forth from the tip of his engorged member. He aimed the mixture, red and white like a barbershop pole, deep into Shawn’s gaping pit covering the cassette and lubricating the quivering intestinal walls before collapsing onto the stage floor littered with fast food wrappers and rat droppings. Some of the sanguine ejaculate landed on Jacob’s hands which he licked off with glee before placing a rare, original No Colours Records CD of Facta Loquuntur gently atop Shawn’s intergluteal cleft for this ultimate anti-fascist demonstration.
Kevin held Shawn’s legs up in the air in a v-shape while Jacob continued prying open the rectum ever wider. Nick’s body was completely covered with thick, muddy shit. With his frosty plumage stiffened into a Roman legionary crest from his own dried semen, he looked like Wesley Snipes in Demolition Man but smelled like Jim Carrey in Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls. He was ready.
Evan emerged from backstage holding a huge almost two feet long, thick frozen turd of Kevin’s. Kevin’s measly three inch member could never hope to perform in a tense situation such as this in front of all of Bestial Evil’s four fans. Evan handed the sacred cultic bowel movement over to Nick to perform the symbolic act. This would be the black nails for Shawn’s human St. Peter’s Cross.
Nick grasped the bisexual black man’s turd with both hands and walked behind Shawn, now held upside down with his legs split into a V shape with ankles held at his sides by Kevin and Evan. Shawn’s asshole was now a giant, foot-wide red sore with the National Socialist black metal CD atop it. Nick held the stiff black shit up before the small crowd and thrust the ritual fecal phallus onto the CD like a pestle to a mortar. The Aryan polycarbonate was no match for the shit stiffened by the black power of left wing social righteousness. The CD shattered, sending shards of sharp plastic deep into Shawn’s intestinal walls, pouring blood over the edges of the sacred buttock chalice, into the plastic cups of the four fans who gulped down the hot, rapidly coagulating foul mixture. The blood lubricated the entry of the firm, frozen fecal dildo deep into Shawn’s shorn, pale body. Nick pushed it all the way in using the palms of both hands, perforating Shawn’s intestines as Longinus pierced the side of Christ.
Intermingled screams of pain and pleasure filled the Sidebar dungeon. Shawn shouted “I AM THE WHITE AMERICAN CHRIST! I ATONE FOR THE SINS OF THE PRIVILEGED! BLACKS, MY CRUCIFIXION IS YOUR REPARATION!”
“Infectious Cross is the gospel of your liberation from oppression! Bestial Evil are Baltimorean apostles!”
Tags: baltimore, bestial evil, bestial evil (usa), christian metal, crustcore, crustfundies, Grindcore, hipster bullshit, homosexuality, Infectious Cross, kevin rucker, metalcore, metalgate, sadistic metal reviews, shawn wright, sjw metal, sjws