Lucky Charms Metal

Death Metal Underground has received criticism for our review of limp-wristed, warmed-over Swedish heavy metal act In Flames. Our staff called them the Swedish version of Christian glam rock band Stryper. However despite being hard rock, Stryper were actually heavier, more sincere in purpose, and more aggressive than the Comic Sans In Flames. Stryper and the speed metal influenced glam rock of Skid Row were at least far more musical than Fredrik Nordstrom produced melodeaf such as post-Alf Svensson At the Gates, Arch Enemy, Dark Tranquility, In Flames, and Soilwork. Stryper and Skid Row were at least well-versed in 60s and 70s riff rock while directly influenced by Metallica and Slayer:

Continue reading Lucky Charms Metal

Rap Rock Banned At DoD Command Post

Nu-“metal” (really rap rock) bands Korn and Slipknot were banned by an American military captain heading a┬ácommand post according to a┬áDepartment of Defense memo posted to Twitter by a United States Marine. Also forbidden from being played at all hours were late 90s and early 2000s butt rock bands Smashmouth, Nickelback, and Creed. The reason for the officer banning the playing of the groups’ music in totality was that they were “terrible.” Hopefully this officer has his wits about him and bans metalcore and hipster whine rock if whichever imbecile was playing rap rock moves onto other styles of “terrible” rock music.